Chicago Parents Say That Fellatio Begins At Home

Holy hymens, Batman!

A teacher out in the burbs had the nerve to teach sex ed and suggest that maybe – just maybe – genitals go other places besides other monogamous child-making one-ping-only genitals:

“How to penetrate the vagina, ejaculation and stuff like that,” Hampton said of the materials. “I think the parents felt it was a basic sex education class,” Vicki Graham said. “The mechanics of the actual sex act I didn’t think were under discussion.” “That should be taught at home,” parent Aretha Johnson said. “And if I choose not to teach my child that, then that should be my right.”

How can you teach sex ed with out talking about vaginas and ejaculation?

Some jackass parent is saying: ‘This isn’t porn 101.’

No, porn 101 would include bondage and you-know-what plugs.

Walcott now finds itself in the unique situation of having neither a teacher nor a curriculum with which to educate their adolescent pupils about the most fundamental function of life. Would it be accurate to infer from this that the school board believes it is safer to have no sex-ed then to have too much sex-ed?

Puh-leez: Half these kids probably already have HPV since their parents are too scared to let them get vaccinated because it will turn their daughters into whirling dervishes of vagina dentatas savaging every upright moral straight male within labia’s reach.

I bet these kids don’t even know what the clitoris does – one of the few parts of human anatomy strictly designed for pleasure and recreation.

Dear sexually mature kids of Chicago: Sex feels great, it leads to babies and STDs as well so be careful and there’s not a goddamn thing wrong with waiting to have sex. Also, it can gum up your emotions and hormones so don’t let yourself be a welcome mat just because you have shitty self-esteem.



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One response to “Chicago Parents Say That Fellatio Begins At Home”

  1. Lyle Lachmuth - The Unsticking Coach Avatar


    Esp the bit about not being a welcome mat! Well said!!

    A line from a former training mentor explaining the difference between training and education, “Which would you want your kid to attend? Sex Education? Or, Sex Training?” 😉

    Cheers, Lyle

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