Not Ab Fab

I have a thick neck.

No, I’m serious. It’s like a tree trunk. My frame is for a medium or small shirt but my neck is always too thick for dress shirts that are sized S-M-L-XL. I think it’s like 16 1/2 inches.

If you know me you know that I’m not a hugely fabulous type person. That is, I’m really not into overt displays of gaiety. I’ve cross-dressed to play Texan hausfraus, done Shakespeare and played the MC in Cabaret. I think I’ve done my time for pansexual theatrics.

Ron just got back from Honolulu and had two matching necklaces. They were a nice pewter chain. And the pendant was the conjoined Mars icons. Besides the fact that I find said symbol a little too obvious, (chalk it up to remnants of internalized homophobia?) the necklace was too tight. It was more of a choker and I hate having tight objects around my neck. If the necklace had been loser and the symbol had hung beneath my shirt collar I might have found it more amenable but I thought it was just a little much.

Of course Ron see this as a rejection of the gift. I reminded him that I would never buy him jewelry without him present and he should think the same for me. I probably should have declined the gift for the tightness and not mentioned the symbology?

I just don’t feel the need to broadcast my same-gender-loving aspect. Holding hands with Ron walking down Broadway in Boystown from Unabridged Books to the Caribou Coffee shop after eating at Melrose is enough for me.






3 responses to “Not Ab Fab”

  1. palochi Avatar

    It’s true. Andy’s neck is like a tree trunk. It was the first thing that caught my eye when I met him and Ron. I thought to myself, “This guy has a neck like a tree trunk.” However, Ron didn’t seem to mind it too much. I later assumed that Andy had other attributes which helped distract Ron from his tree trunk sized neck, most likely being his wit, his charm, and his ability to come to terms with and accept his pansexual history.

    As for Andy’s fat head (which is accordingly attached to his tree trunk neck) and how it affects his dealing with the other half bringing him jewelry gifts… I think this post pretty much says it all. 🙂

  2. Andy Avatar

    Ron and I both have spoonheads. When he shaves his head he looks like a smiley: 🙂

  3. Brooks Avatar

    I appreciate it when heterosexual couples keep it toned down in public, too. Get wild and nasty as you want in private.

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