This was left on my welcome mat this afternoon. I guess I hit a nerve. Read the full letter.






21 responses to “Epilogue”

  1. Andy Avatar

    On reflection:

    I’m not sure if the lawyer is salaried or on retainer. If he can afford to salary a lawyer, why is he sharing a flat with 2 other guys in a basement in Lakeview?

    The legal threats seem pretty pointless since there’s no existing legal contract between us. I went to the source – not of the problem – but of the possible solution – and of the existing agreement.

    You can’t notarize an email. I’ve dealt with this kind of stuff before and almost always state law requires receipt of registered mail.

    If I was evil: I’d ask him for the contact info of his lawyer. Just to call his bluff. But I won’t. I’m not evil.

    Everyone knows there’s no trailer park in Boystown. The 7-11 doesn’t count.

    I’m not sure, but I don’t think Bite Me! would stand up in a court of law.

  2. pero Avatar

    courteousness? haahah.

  3. pero Avatar

    there are so many things in that letter I could make fun of. I’ll leave some for others, I’m not selfish. 🙂 This is too funny.

  4. Bingo Avatar

    Wow, that note pisses me off and I don’t even have to deal with all that crap.
    Be evil Andy!

  5. Andy Avatar

    Nah. Kharma will take care of their come-uppance at a later time.

  6. sam Avatar

    I would leave that letter and a detailed account of what happened in a place where the next tenant will find them. Actually, I would probably take them to the next tenant myself to ensure they were received. I would feel like it was my duty to inform them.

    But I’m a asshole, so I can’t say what is “right” or “rational.” 😉

  7. Deb Avatar

    I wonder what “the next level” would be for a lawyer being retained by two guys living in a basement?

    I vote you call his bluff. [“Try Me!” indeed.]

  8. palochi Avatar

    I need to make one statement before I comment on a few points:

    What a freak.

    That said, this guy is a real piece of work. He’s contacting his lawyer about what? That you upset him? That you’ve given him writer’s cramp? That you’re disturbing his high-profile basement lifestyle?

    You’re moving. Case closed. Get over it, basement boy.

    As for the management company, I have two points:

    1. The “poor girl” manager gets paid to deal with managing the building. Although building management in this part of Chicago is notorious for avoiding inter-tenant issues, they must get involved from a business perspective if a lease is in jeopardy. “Welcome to management,” as my boss constantly reminds me on a bad day. If “poor girl” has too much to “deal with,” perhaps she should sit down, make herself a cocktail, pick up the job section of the Trib, and start considering a career change. When all you have are people like this guy on your side, you should seriously consider reassessing your life.

    2. It’s fairly difficult to get out of a lease in this area. The fact that the management company (and I’d love to know who they are) let it go this far without getting their hands dirtied, and then released you from it in such a short of time speaks volumes. They’ve had issues with these kinds of problems before, whether or not it’s this specific guy. They just don’t want to publicize it too much to jeopardize their rented-to-vacant ratio.

    Folks, know this when you move into a larger multi-unit “managed” building – they don’t give a crap beyond you paying your rent every month. Most cases, you’d be better off living in a motel.

    As for this “genius” – yes, there ARE noise nuisance ordinances about “cranking it up,” even before 9 pm. Tell him to ask his alleged lawyer to look it up.

    One of the aspects I find most humorous about this “declaration of andypendence” (excuse me… I just had to say it…) is that although he’s “sick of your crap,” and he’s contacting his “salaried lawyer” about it (moron), he’s still willing to be a martyred saint and assist you with getting a sublet for the place.

    How thoughtful.

    (Gah… please. Who lives in a basement apartment and has a lawyer on salary?!)

    Someone really needs to tell Ms. Disco Delusional Cellar Drama Queen to stop sniffing the swamp fumes coming from the cracked foundation in her high-profile garden studio apartment. Just because the exorbitant rent and her “salaried lawyer” have required her to cut back on the amount of crack she usually purchases, it shouldn’t mean she has to go all ghetto fabulous now does it?

  9. Tim Z. Avatar

    Save every little detail of this bizarre episode.
    This will make a great chapter in your autobiography!

  10. bw Avatar

    I thought about counting how many times he said he was “done dealing with you”, but decided they were so numerous, I didn’t have the time. Any anyways, is the lawyer on retainer or salaried? Make up your mind, Basement Stud! I agree with the others – anyone living like he does probably can’t afford a lawyer.

  11. Andy Avatar

    Yep, the best response is going to be no response. I may send a copy of the letter to the management company for the completion of my file with them. But not until I’m safely moved out.

  12. MIchael Avatar

    Thank God your moving. What a wacko!

    One more thing about a notary, you’re actually notarizing the persons actual signature, not the document itself. Also, in order for a signature to be notorized, it must be done in person.

  13. greg Avatar

    Well. What a well-written response to… uh… nothing. And nary a mispelled word!

  14. Jake Avatar

    If nothing else, you’re getting the satisfaction of mocking this freak by posting his poorly spelled manifesto on the Internet. And then letting everyone comment on how lame it is. You should send him printouts of everything in a week or so so he can see what an ass the world thinks he is.

  15. Lori Avatar

    Wow! That’s too much effort for him to take over a noise complaint…

  16. Jonny Avatar

    I’ve found myself in similar circumstances: the insane person somehow feels that you’ve gone “over their head” because you’ve reported their asocial behavior to the proper authorities.

    I don’t quite understand this manner of thinking. But then I suppose I shouldn’t try and make sense out of statements that are innately illogical in the first place.

  17. Andy Avatar

    Because I’m nosey. I typed in the guy’s phone number into Google. He turned up on Craiglist.

    I found out the guy does moving as well. And he’d listed the 3rd floor unit before.

    I wonder if I could hire him as a mover?

  18. Tim Avatar

    Any person who is not a moron could tell his claims of having a lawyer are false. The first thing a real lawyer would recommend is to NOT contact the other person once a problem arises. And you definitely wouldn’t do it in a letter filled with name-calling and obscenities. And if you did contact them, you should do it through the lawyer or fully disclose your attorney’s info within the letter for all future responses the other person would have. Yes, you should give this letter to the management company immediately. Not only could this guy be violating city ordinances by doing unlicensed maintenance work, it’s obvious he is friends with the building manager and being given special treatment as a result. Heaven forbid you should bother her with actual problems instead of just biting your lip and putting up with idiots who think they can intimidate you.

  19. Rick Avatar

    Did he write that on a grocery receipt? Is that all the paper he had available to him?

    What a freak. Good riddance.

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