Category: Funnies
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Your Sac is Large and in Charge
Yes, I am completely immature. I read the website for the souped-up beanbag, the LoveSac and chortled at a select few quotes and the implications of scrotal imagery: Utility straps reduce the size of your Sac to fit through doors and crevices. For those who can’t handle the sheer girth of a SuperSac, we offer […]
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Little Richard Translates for George Bush on The Daily Show
Here’s the video I was talking about, Willis. Little Richard and Bush on The Daily Show.
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Diverted Cookie Run
The bad news is I went out last night to White Hen on a cookie run. The good news is instead of cookies I came home with a bag of granola cereal. The good news is I had granola instead of cookies. The bad news is I ate the entire bag. The good news is […]
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Patriot Day
D: Did you have a good Patriot day? Andy: The best. Had dinner at Old Country Buffet followed by our Klan meeting and drag racing in our H2’s. D: haha. No shooting at arabic-looking people? Andy: that was brunch
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Henry Rollins Quote on Slow Walkers
Paraphrasing I picked up on MeFi: To paraphrase Henry Rollins, if you are wasting my time, you are murdering me by tiny increments and I take you out. Anybody know the full quote?
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Drunken Kelly Clarkson Lets Loose at Metal Skool Concert
Kelly Clarkson. Heavy metal. Wild Turkey. ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine.’ What could possibly happen? It is great to see her let her hair down and harmonize with some real rockers. I’m sure the Idol wranglers are all upset about this.
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You Can Turn Off the News. You Don't Have to Watch CNN All Day.
I just needed to remind myself of that. Click. In other news: an obsessive-compulsive cat flushes a toilet for three minutes.
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Can African-Americans Can See Through Walls?
This is STRANGE. You know that file of search results that AOL released? Danny emails that on the Awful Forums there was this listing posted that they found in the data dump: 2281868 do niggers have x-ray vision 2006-03-02 15:47:52 7 https://andymatic.com I have no clue why someone would type that in and why my […]
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Howard Stern's 1st Annual Small Penis Contest
This will make you cross your legs. Howard Stern’s First Annual Small Penis Contest
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Mommie Dearest and ABBA's Mamma Mia Remix
This is a favorite all over the place but I’m sure some folks haven’t seen it. I hadn’t thought to look for it on YouTube but Ron had me cackling when in the middle of So You Think You Can Dance he turns to me and yells: Why can’t you give me!? The reSPECT!? That […]