wednesday, may 2

I think it’s a bad sign when I have to escape work for an hour because I just can’t stand the boredom.

From: Eric

so why invest the energy in something so “unproductive”……or is it like a
break from everything “productive”

To: Eric

I know… I know… I’m comfortable where things are evidently. I’m settling. I know that I am. It’s nice to be held and to hold someone else in my arms. And recently that’s all I seem to need. The N— thing is taking more of a toll on my energy than I’d like to admit – not because of the time spent but just because it is something to have to focus on and think about everyday. Last night someone banged on my front window and my blood froze. It’s that kind of tension I’m looking forward to relieving once they drag his punk ass into jail. The best part is that I think I go to the Precinct on Addison and Halsted so I can turn him in and then go dance at Circuit! Back to the E— Situation – it is safety and has little promise of growth and further – little promise of risk. That’s why I stay in it. In this case I’m staying with the familiar, though not necessarily fulfilling. Why do we stay in any stalemate? Because it is familiar to us. Being stuck is many times being safe.






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