tuesday, july 31

I had a delicious panic attack on the train this morning. I get on and sit down and the anxiety begins. I was dripping with perspiration. It was awful. I tried breathing deeper and relaxing, closing my eyes… nothing worked. Eventually it passed – after 10 minutes though. I don’t know what the trigger was either. Then the train stopped because of a fire a few stops down and they turned the power in the car off. No panic attack. Nothing. I was late and missed my haircut appointment but no anxiety episode. Why can’t I have anxiety attacks over the important things?

I still can’t believe this shit is happening:

Since taking office, President George W. Bush and his top aides have refused to allow two states to expand family planning services for poor women, reimposed a ban on abortion counseling at health clinics abroad, released a report questioning the effectiveness of condoms and proposed eliminating contraceptive coverage for federal workers. Public health experts inside and outside the federal government are becoming increasingly concerned that the emerging approach is based more on ideology than science, and that the changes might reverse recent successes in reducing adolescent pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS. “At each instance,” said Judith Lichtman, president of the National Partnership for Women and Families, Mr. Bush “has chosen to act not in a moderate way but in an extreme way.” Last week, officials at the federal Centers for Disease Control and the National Institutes of Health tried in vain to block the release of a report that concluded there was “insufficient evidence” that condoms prevented most sexually transmitted infections. Health care providers warned that the report was dangerously misleading.

It just feels like they’re chipping a way bit by bit at any kind of sexual responsibility or freedom or choice. Glad I don’t have a womb.






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