Fox Chicago News Sucks

There was a fire downtown last night on La Salle street. Initial details were sketchy – but that didn’t stop Nancy Pender, John Dempsey and company from interrupting a gripping episode of The Swan to repeat the same four facts over and over and over again.

They kept repeating over and over that probably the reason the fire was so hard to put out was because it was an office building and – y’know – they’ve got a lot of paper in there? No shit Sherlock!

They referred to the people that got out of the building as survivors how had escaped. Good God! Unless somebody died – you can’t have survived it. Yeah, I survived waking up this morning. I survived a turkey burger at Melrose.

Facts didn’t emerge until at least 11:30 after they’d paused The Simpsons and Seinfeld for another 15 minute round of the same four facts over and over again.

The worst thing about Fox is the news – and I’m not talking about the national right-wing media conduit – I mean at home. The fear-mongering is out of control. Every night it is some sort of alarmist bullshit malady that is attacking the soccer mom’s way of life.

Yes – the fire downtown is important news. No – it is not a devastating disaster. The building is still standing ain’t it? Most of the people sent to the hospital in critical condition are firefighters – not the actual people who escaped – these are the heroes who went into the fire.

And thank God it happened after business hours when only the disposable cleaning staff and security watch was in the building. Heavens to Betsy!

When they finally flipped back to The Swan we had missed the first reveal plus Michael’s car accident and marriage proposal and the other important points. They could have broken for commercial, told us the scoop and then put the four facts they knew on a ticker on the bottom of the screen.

The other channel didn’t interrupt football.

Thank God Walter Jacobsen wasn’t there. Or Danielle Serrino. I think those two are so abrasive I could clean my toilet with their journalism.







4 responses to “Fox Chicago News Sucks”

  1. Michael Avatar

    The FOX coverage was pathetic. While yes, the fire was “breaking news” as you said it was not a devasting disaster. A program interruption would have been suffice. Hours of coverage was not needed.

  2. Djhinn Avatar

    Im jsut thankful that you survived that burger on melrose….

  3. kc Avatar

    Think of Fox, and its affiliates, as a network of Beavises. “FIRE! FIRE! HEHEHEHE!”

  4. JC Avatar

    They do the same thing with weather. Snow will begin falling and all of a sudden programming gets interrupted. They just keep saying the same things: “Snow. It’s falling. Drive safely. Snow. It’s cold. Snow. Drive safely.”

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