Yes – Richard and I

Yes – Richard and I are no longer dating. I knew he’d been talking with his ex-boyfriend lately so I wasn’t terribly surprised. What is curious is that since the The Talk last Wednesday he’s been over more than ever. Saturday for the cookie party. Sunday night to watch Part I of Dune. Last night to send a fax and Part II of Dune and I presume tonight for Part III. I am sad that he doesn’t ‘Want It That Way.’ It ain’t nothing but a heartache. He is a fun person to share with because he’s a partyboi and he has brought out the inner extrovert in me: I went clubbing at Circuit by myself Saturday night wearing my sunglasses, shirt off… feeling like a total badass dancing onstage.

To: Kevin

Yes – after the party I was quite tapped out – I think being around large groups of people drains me at times and the added concern of trying to make sure everybody has a good time is always a little demanding. I’m always struck by how self-absorbed we all are. But I mean what else is there to be absorbed with? And it was funny watching the cookie making dynamics as some people had a right way the cookies should be made and others just wanted to do their own thing. I took a nap and had a good cry – not because of the party I think – just quarterly grief maintennance and then went dancing by myself till 4. I like going dancing by myself because I don’t feel like I have to associate with somebody – I can just introvert in a enormous crowd of people. I am the hero today because I dragged in all the crackers, vegetables and dip from Saturday in this morning – so they love me. Richard has been over the past two nights – interesting that since he dumped me he’s over more frequently than ever. Hmmm… we’ve been watching the Dune miniseries out of Europe on sci-fi – it’s pretty good and I hate to say it is better and more sensible than my God David Lynch’s version – though the best thing about that movie is the visual design. Haven’t heard from Erik in a week and a half so I think that’s done. I would like to have a party where all the rooms are beds and pillows – I liked laying on my bed with a bunch of people conversing. You missed Kelly Green – she came late and was sorry she missed ya. I got a temporary crown put on one of my teeth yesterday morning – it fucking hurt! The worst is when they’re shaving off the tooth – um – BONE. They are taking bone out of my body – that’s just not nat’ral. I though getting my wisdom teeth ripped out was much less traumatic – then next week I go in for a teeth cleaning and then the week after that I get the permanent crown put in. And next week I go in for a CAT scan of my sinuses to see why they’re so screwed up so maybe I can get the tonsillectomy in before Christmas while things are slowed down here at work.