Wheaties Fuel is the Axe Body Spray of Breakfast Cereals

Independent studies have shown that eating a cereal out of a box with, for example, Kristi Yamaguchi’s face on it actually causes the penis to retract inside the body—and then there’s insidious folic acid, proven to grow breasts and an abnormally strong interest in True Blood in lab animals. The new Wheaties Fuel finally leaves both of these power-boner-killers out of the equation, setting its sights squarely on those with Y chromosomes and a deep need to be reassured by everything they own that they are, in fact, men. As General Mills marketing manager told the New York Times back in July while Fuel was still being developed, “Men don’t use their wives’ razors or deodorants; why would they be eating their cereal?”

via A.V. Club. (found via Andy Steele)