saturday, november 4

(11-3-00 1:05pm) I’m sitting here at work typing this. I went ahead and let mom go to SOFA by herself and I went to the gym and then I’m going to go see here in about an hour or so. Had a great workout at the gym today. I felt very hunky at the end of it. My arms were really thick looking and my shoulders are fucking ripped. Wearing a clingy sky blue Gap sweater today. I like wearing clothes that show off my body. It took me so long to get to this point in my life. I want to show it off ! Probably going to dancing tonight at Roscoe’s though _____ isn’t going since he has to play with DullMike – he isn’t even coming in until 11pm. Fuck that! So I want to go dancing by myself which is always fun. Emailed Anthony to see if he’d be interested in going. We’ll see. I haven’t been out with him in a while. I need to get my Palm modem working now and then I’ll be unstoppable. Right? Right! [excised part of the journal wherein I talk about sex] And feeling the orgasm boil in the base of my being and heat up my spine and swirl in my crotch and I’m hoping – praying – I’ll come. And there’s that suspension where I could come or just go back down and I cross that edge and I feel my glands seize up and feel the hot liquid pour out of me and into him. And again. And again. Last weekend I made these incredible animal noises. Quite amazing. It was like the my human side was fighting for control of my animal self and for a brief time I was naked, hairy, muscular and wild and sexy and fucking the shit out of another animal.

Just imagine if Anais Nin had had a Palm. She could have sat up in bed with Henry and June and written her latest entry and then connected it to her Nextel and quickly sent to her PC at home. I want to divorce myself of ties. I want to become portable. I want to be able to access my life anywhere and at all times. I really feel that this keyboard is one of the best things to happen to me in a while. I’m able to write effectively and quickly and accurately but I don’t hae to spend time writing each sentence into here. and it is so small. Without the keyboard my writings suddenly become smaller than an index card – no bigger than a wallet. And they are instantly backed up whenever I want and easily exportable into whatever medium I choose. I think I can write plays again. Heh heh. He says.