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Sunday morning. Ron is presumably in the air. Kitty is wandering around after the daily Wakeup Cuddle. How can someone be that happy to see me?
Had some dreams last night but I can’t remember them. I’ve been pretty forgetful the past six months and it really bothers me. I know it is because I’ve got a lot of irons in the fire.
The hinge on this Sony Vaio PCG-SRX87 is getting looser as the laptop ages. I’ve found the parts on line to get the new laptop hinges but I’m not sure how easy it will be to install. Discussion forums say it is difficult (but really expensive to send off to an authorized Sony repair shop). I will say this little baby has been a workhorse and has survived much tumbling and travel. It still turns heads at the cafes and here’s why: the basic footprint of the smallest laptops hasn’t changed that much in three years. True, I don’t have a ton of data on here since I use a desktop mostly but it is nice to be able to sit on the NEW LEATHER COUCH and tick-tack-type away.
SARK’s Make Your Creative Dreams Real next to me on the bed. Arundhati Roy’s An Ordinary Person’s Guide to Empire on the floor. Sodoku book next to it along with my journal and my affirmations notebook. I find that when I write out or meditate on affirmations it takes about four days for something to manifest (if at all). Like I was doing affirmations on money and then four days later I get an affiliate commission check for an affiliate I promoted a year ago – yet one of my recurring commissions still makes enough every few months to send me a $40 check.
Current affirmations include:
I am free of ache, pain, anxiety and depression.
I have a strong, powerful, resilient, flexible, sexy body.
I have all the time I need to do all that I want to do.
That last one is inspired from one of SARK’s books with the sentences:
You are enough. You have enough. You do enough.
Depending on your economic circumstances growing up I think a lot of us have this sense that there is never enough. It isn’t really a perfectionism focus – it is the idea of scarcity. I’ve had a few scarcity-based moments lately.
As a colleague told me, a year ago no one in the peer circles I’m in was talking about blogs except for me. Now suddenly everybody is an expert – even people that have taken my course are somehow turning around and teaching intro blogging courses. My inner bastard lashes out but I know that it isn’t worth it to focus on other people’s exploits. I try to stay focused on the ‘ministry’ part of the tech I teach. I had a client email me that I was the ‘Tylenol of the blogging world’ because I took away all the pain of learning how to use this technology. I think it is slightly revolting that everytime a new technology comes blogs, podcasting, RSS… the internet marketing whores pop up with their larger than life salesletters and shitty-ass table-based HTML designs and screaming auto-play Flash players and tries to drag the uninformed into their little ponzi web. I’m a bleeding heart, what can I say.
From SARK: (random page, random quote)
We can meet our fears in a new way with a fresh mind and a full heart. We can learn to listen more briefly to our fears and escort them out into the garden whie we have a tea party in the living room.
and from Arundhati Roy: (my new girlfriend)
In this era of crisis reportage, if you don’t have a crisis to call your own, you’re not in the news. And if you’re not in the news, you don’t exist. While governments hone the art of crisis management (the art of waiting out a crisis), resistance movements are increasingly being ensnared in a sort of vortex of crisis production.
Hits the nail on the head. I’ve often thought of the idea that much of the weight of globalization and the movement of multi-nationals is the commodification of misery: misery as product. When we wear clothing and use products that are inextricably bound with oppressive government or financial systems, we have bought another person’s misery to prevent our own.
Her thoughts on waiting out crises is so evident with our current administration. Karl Rove remains a fucking genius of marketing. He knows that a 24-hour news cycle would rather spend time on a ‘live breaking event’ like a house fire next to a high school in California (I ranted to CNN on that one) or a bus crash in Florida (really a one sentence story, dragged into days of coverage). As speeches mix down to sounds bites and sound bites mix down to images and images mix down to montage… what will be left? Not much and the White House knows that if they batten down the hatches, let Scott McClellan bleed a little more pus on the podium, all will return to situation normal (SNAFU, that is).
I have the blinds down but I can hear icy rain hitting the window, along with an icy draft coming through these age old windows.
I’m hurtling towards another laundry emergency with piles of clothing and bedding needing to be washed. I think I just have to accept that that is my current style of laundry lately and stop having these delusions of doing ‘a couple loads each week’.
Ron and I went shopping yesterday and got some new underwear. We went to Club Monaco, Armani, Nordstroms, Bloomingdales, Apple store… and had lunch at Popeye’s.
Ron loves fried chicken. You’d think he was from the south. And yes: he loves to eat the skin. We went to a derelict Popeye’s wedged off of Michigan Avenue – a sort of KFC meets No Exit-type of establishment. We got a four piece dinner and ate it. I think I reached a new level of intimacy with Ron while watching him rip the fried, breaded skin off the chicken and gobble it up. Truth be told we had our semi-annual McDonald’s fest last week. So we’d now gone to Popeye’s and McDonalds in a seven day period. As we left the confines of Popeye’s and returned to the mag mile Ron voiced what we both were feeling:
That never happened.
Ah, shame and eating. Truly the beginning of a good process addition.