Cancer is what happens when cells forget how to die.
Less vs. fewer: If you can count it, use fewer.
Computers – they do exactly what they’re told to.
You’re made of chemicals. They work like magnetic Legos. Neat.
Geocaching is playing hide and seek using billion dollar satellites
Put penis in vagina. Move back and forth. Wait. Baby!
Evolution: Try a bunch of random shit, toss what doesn’t work.
Anyone can be happy if they lower their standards enough.
Google – an algorithm to show you what other people wanted.
Orbits: Falling sideways so fast, you continually miss the ground.
Q: How do vaccines cause autism? A: They don’t.
Journalism: Call people and write down the dumbest things they say.
Existence: Get conceived, be born, live a while, die, be forgotten.
The entire universe is simply four forces acting on energy.