wednesday, july 26

Realized last night after rehearsal that I haven’t been praising the actors. It is very important to this as part of the creative process. Part of the problem is I’ve worked with most of them for so long that I totally trust and enjoy what they are doing. I have felt very different directing this show – I was talking to Matt about this – I feel like I’ve been less involved than I would be if I’d written the show. This is really Karen’s baby – I’m a midwife – I want to keep the focus on her for this. I defer to her many times through rehearsals for guidance and answers and suggestions. I’ve been more of a faciliator than anything with this production. I feel guilty not being my normal theatre-rebel self but Matt was suggesting that maybe this is part of my developing unconscious competence. I think he’s right. I can look at a scene and instinctively know what’s right or wrong with it – where the kinks are in the rhythm. I don’t know if I could teach it – it is like my whole body responds to the vibrations of the play and can sense where there is energy blockage or untapped opportunity. It is exciting – but scary. I’m a very intuitive person – more so than most people would ever guess. I have a very keen analytical side but I always seem to be awash in the emotions and energies and vibrations of things and people around me. Like being overcome with grief on the bus on Monday. I felt like I was an empath for the whole world. I was letting timeless grief flow through me. Wow.






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