thursday, march 8

So Cheney is the puppetmaster? (from

Bernard Shaw… was seated beside Bush and across from Cheney. As questions were put to the president, the veteran newsman observed that Cheney seemed to be providing cues to Bush.

“I noticed that the president kept looking at you,” Shaw told Cheney in an on-air interview the next day. “And you were indicating your attitude, your feelings, about questions being asked,” using body language, facial expressions and “your eyes.”

Apparently caught off-guard, Cheney stammered that “we’re – we’re both Westerners. I know he’s from Texas. I’m from Wyoming. There can be some connection there.”

The vice president quickly added that he and Bush had been working on so many issues together that “I wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t respond in similar ways to the same kinds of questions.”

from Salon:

In November 2000, Alabama became the last state to overturn a ban on interracial marriage. Yet as the election revealed — 40 percent of Alabamans voted to keep the ban — many people still see the necessity for a law that prohibits blacks and whites from mixing blood…. On this abstract racial principle of “black” and “white,” there really is an exceptional situation in the U.S. In virtually every other country, people who in the U.S. would be considered “people of color” have lived together with white people without such prohibitions.

Editor’s Note: Please notice that there are two Eri*’s in my life right now – Eric who is a photographer friend and Erik the guy I’ve been hanging out with since August. That is all.

To: Eric
From: Andy

I guess that means Francisco is going to be able to stay in the US – how are things by the way. I just got in from the gym – had a good workout and starting to think of what I need to launder for next week. Went to Spin last night – this guy named Amas or Armand attacked me with hugs and swore up and down I was his best friend from Spain. Funny, I don’t look Druish. I just must have one of those faces that has traces of everything… hmmm… went with some guyz, one of ’em was Ryan or Brian some kind of -ian name. Then Darren one of my friends’s tricks from the night before showed up – an ATA ‘we’re on vacation but now I’m laidoff’ flight attendant. The music was alright but I got bored quickly – the DJ seemed like an expert at clearing the floor with no-name/go-nowhere mixes – plus he kept doing my biggest DJ peeve – trying to incite the crowd to react – ‘the more you scream the more you get… I’m not done working you yet…’ – do it with your tunes man. I’m not there to perform for you. Anyway – my date with Al went really well – it was nice to be lavished with dinner and he gets major extra points for already having bought the movie tickets (to Traffic – some good camera work in that – see it). But I kept having a whole ‘he’s 31 block’ which is so unfair on my part and then he’s telling me that the last guy dated was 22 and I’m thinking – he’s a twinkinator. I guess I have this impetus that I should be raping the young as well. I didn’t find him on the whole terribly engaging or interesting but then again I noticed I was doing all the talking – he is cute and endearing and why not have a second date, right? Right now I see everybody as a potential ticket-buyer that’s my main problem. I brought posters to all the boybars and gave them to the managers and none of them put them up! Just because I don’t have a naked male torso on the poster – argh. Next time – whatever the play is I’ll be on the poster shirtless and waxed with nipple clamps. That should bring them in. Excited about opening tomorrow night. Not at all nervous about the quality of the shows or the cast or that stuff – just there’s that leap of faith that we’ll throw the doors open and at 8pm tomorrow night people are gonna show up. Yikes. Erik called and we’re going out Saturday afternoon. He’s so fun, we’re talking and out of the blue he says: ‘you sound like you miss me’. I still have a crush on him. That or I just miss his mouth. Now that I’ll have some time off next week I seriously need to get a sex-binge lined up. I gotta penetrate something soon or I’ll lose my mind. Time for lunch #1!

No fucking shit: Kids rate bullying and teasing as ‘big problem’. This drives me nuts. As a former focus of extreme high school derision this kind of ‘no shit’ news maddens me. Kids are assholes. That’s what it really comes down to. Kids are assholes to eachother because parents are assholes to them. The parents want to be the kids’ best friends and not be parents and set limits. Control all the guns you want, mandate that everybody where A&F but until you teach kids how to control their anger nothing is ever going to stop. Violence and aggression is learned – so is controlling it and sublimating it into something useful. Treat kids like they’re worthless and they’ll downgrade their dreams to fit your expectations. Yeah, I was a nerd in high school and un-athletic and was excluded constantly and consistently. When I hear of a school shooting we all know who did it – the misunderstood white kids with too much free time. And part of me understands the kids’ rage as I would drive a beat-up blue Ford van to the private school we could barely afford while the daddy’s girls and momma’s boys drove their convertibles, Mercedes and Beemers and didn’t we all get so fucked up last night. I remember being scared shitless this Mike kid was going to beat me up. I didn’t know what to do – I knew nothing of fighting or self-defense or anything like that. When I first went to high school (from public middle school) I had a three day long anxiety attack. I tried to convert my anger to out-performing and getting out of that environment as soon as I could and that’s why I’m here in Chicago opening three one-act plays written, directed and produced by me tomorrow night instead of beer-bellied, watching fishing shows with my knocked up wife and my associates degree from the local community college. I like to think I don’t live my life to spite those I despise but sometimes it can fuel the fire. Its good when you’ve learned to claw your way to where you are today – it makes you appreciate what you have.

To: Eric
From: Andy

Yeah – I hadn’t been to Spin in weeks and I see why. It’s just not a good time. *sigh*

You are right, the age thing really shouldn’t matter…..think of it this
way, if you didn’t know his age, would you still enjoy his company? or does
he “act” older? There is a difference.

Good questions – I’d still enjoy his company. And why should it even matter if I’m not husband shopping right?

Do you feel that I act 32? or do you not feel comfortable with me ?

You act like the rest of us – about 12. Last night Karen and I walked to see the other show at Strawdog and she made a joke about playing the Silent Game and we didnt’ talk for forty minutes. I think part of it is I want to date guys my age and younger now so when I get older it won’t look predatory? Again – that’s scarcity thinking. And being too uptight.

It sounds like he is just more time filler than anything. When you run the
whole conversation…it is because you are bored and just want to get the
night over….or the other person is so incredibly shy and/or is only
thinking about getting in your pants

Part of it too is the attention he gives me. Duh, Andy! I get nervous when I find myself getting too dependent or accustomed to or entertained by attention from people because it is giving over bits of your esteem to outside sources. As I’ve said before, Andy Is A Hottie is a relatively new event in my life and the idea that I can get things that I want because of how I look seems so ludicrous after years of using academics to further my causes.

I know you like Erik……..if he was just a Fu$$% than you probably
wouldn’t have cared if you ever saw him again…..and I hear how you talk
about him. I think sometimes you wish he would like you more…..and show up
more, etc 🙂

Yeah – if Erik and I were just a hookup we’d’ve expired long ago. When we first started going out we would see eachother maybe three days in a row. As I’ve said before his temper is an issue as far as us developing into anything long term. I just think it’s funny that he’s all of sudden calling me everyday after no interaction for two weeks – or at least no regular interaction. Maybe I’m his sure thing – he knows if he comes over we’ll get it on. I like him because he’s sexy and funny and his ditzy-ness is attractive – it is funny when he calls up trying to convert quarts to cups. And he’s got a good mouth.

By the way….how are you going to be penetrating anything with him? He is
a top , no? …………….oh…his mouth…….I see….or do I?

Nah – Erik won’t give it up. I’ve tried. But he can service in other ways very well. I like cuddling and making out and laying around with him more than anything.






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