Scunci Steamer

Scunci Steamer (from
is something about infommercials that I find so hypnotic.

Henry Kissinger from Americas.orgI
admire the ones that fill me with an insatiable urge to buy – they are so carefully
calibrated to awaken that consumerist craving of I’m an American and goddammit
if there’s one thing that America stands for (besides schizoid foreign policy
and funding pseudo-terrorist organizations) it’s buying shit I don’t need –
When we did industrial video training in acting school I loved the
scene I did: a sales-training session for an anti-depressant. I just loved being
abolutely happy over nothing too particular (hmmm… sort of the whole raison
for anti-deps, n’est-ce pas?). And so it is with the Scunci

You see, it’s a high-powered – but handheld – steamer that you can use to steam
away all sorts of grime and grit. And it uses no chemicals – just ordinary tap
water. I had had dinner with Brig, _____ and JenOz (_____ was in town for a
subpoena – the guy that mugged/beat her last year was having some sort of hearing).
Anyway, they all had seen the Scunci and we all four secretly coveted having
the power of steam-cleaning in our grubby little mitts. I dream of using it
to attack the grout mold in my shower.

I always picture Alan and Brigitte or Brigitte and I doing these kinds of
commercials in about 20 years. Where I’m the dumb pseudo-husband stand-in and
she’s the wonder-wife to the rescue. Ron and I have actually watched the infommercial
a couple of times (whilst waiting for justice-hottie Judge Hatchett to arrive)
and find the part where she’s in the fake bathroom set and steams off hard water
deposits off the shower door and exclaims ‘Look at this clean! Hello!’ Between
that and the Ronco knives – I have to hide my wallet from myself.

Vanessa Williams (from Proactiv website)Howie Long (from Mens Journal)I
find it as appealing as the one for Proactiv skin care solutions. Does anybody
else find Vanessa
Williams a total MILF
? Not to mention the commercials with her and Howie
– Ron loves Howie Long and I think secretly hopes I’ll grow into a
meathead as I age. I’m sure if I keep doing shrugs like I have I’ll have no
discernible neck at all by the time I’m 35. Brigitte reports Proactiv works
really well – Karen and I actually witnessed her one night ‘receiving her skin
care’ – sounds like ‘receiving the Holy Spirit’ to me.

So I was at Bed, Bath and Byatches and saw a Scunci knockoff – the Penguin
Steamer. And I thought, well – it’s probably just like the Scunci – only I don’t
have to wait for it to be delivered. So I got it. It sucked. Big time. I filled
it with water and turned it on and waited and pumped and nothing happened. Ron
came over and revealed that I’d filled it too high – you know maybe the line
marking saying ‘MAX’ meant something (yeah, I was an honor student – then again
Ron accidentally pronounce floor lamp as froor ramp last night which
sent us both into a tither of giggles). So we took some water out – it spat
out some steam now and again but nothing to write home about. So I’m taking
that piece of crap back to the store and I’m seriously considering by 3 easy
payments of $19.95 (when are automated payments ever hard?).

I’m hoping it will be like the George Foreman Grill – which I’d laughed about
and made fun of for the longest time – but it turned out to be the one appliance
that go me through my first few years here in Chicago. I’ll report back with
more later.






5 responses to “Scunci Steamer”

  1. Linda Avatar

    Well, I ordered it. I tried it. It didn’t do anything the commerical said it would do except blow steam. I tried it on the baked on grease on the stove, but it didn’t work. I tried it on the kitchen floor, but it didn’t work. I tried it on the glass shower doors, but it didn’t even get the scum off there either. The only thing I haven’t tried to do is steam the wrinkles out of my clothes. I am afraid it will ruin them as the black rubber tip left black marks all over my shower doors as it was melting, I guess, as I steamed the shower door. I tried to send it back, but I was one day late.
    I would not recommend this product to anyone. Don’t waste your money, go out to Outback and get a nice steak dinner for two instead.

    I am such a guilible person!!! I too ordered the Scunci Steamer and it did not clean anything!!! I stood in my shower for 3 hours and cleaned about 10 tiles with it. Yeah!! that really makes me feel stupid! I am sending mine back though. I am not wasting money on a piece of **** like this.

  2. Ian Avatar

    I’m glad I’m not the only sucker who fell for this scam! The steamer is 100 percent ineffective. What a joke! Don’t buy it. It sucks badly!

  3. Dana Avatar

    Maybe the dirt in your homes far exceeds the norm. I’ve had my Scunci Steamer for one month and I’m thrilled with it!!
    My shower, sinks, baseboards, toaster oven….everything I’ve steamed clean looks wonderfully new!!
    Honestly, I’m not a sales person for the company. I just really love my steamer!!

  4. DAVID HAILEY Avatar


  5. John Avatar

    I bought one, and I am disappointed with it. It does not remove soap scum. It does not do what it claims. Not worth buying.

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