Folsom Street Fair Weekend Party Guide 2021

UPDATE: Well that was fucking incredible! See everybody next year and you’ll find next year’s guide at this same address

tl;dr/summary: Folsom is a big gay leather prom. This year it’s called MEGAHOOD2021. See you there.
Be sure to bookmark this guide; it’ll get long – I have so much to tell you! Plus, I’m constantly updating as new events, venues, and DJs are announced.

(Or are you looking for the 2021 Dore guide?)

You can always find the latest at – just tell friends “it’s at andy matic dot com slash folsom” – easy to remember!

Calm the fuck down. Folsom is still happening.

Here’s what’s up:

San Francisco has a mask mandate in place for indoor retail, drinking, and dining along with showing proof of vaccination on entry. More than 80% of San Francisco adults are vaccinated. Our hospitalization rates are low and steady and 7-day average death rate is under 1.

No parties have been cancelled. Everything is all still on with more events being announced every day. I had to add Thursday and “earlier”columns there is so much going on.

The fair will feel the most different. I talked to organizers at the Folsom org last week. Out of all the events of the weekend, the street fair will feel the most different. But attendees of the Dore fair in July still had a great time. Skip down for details…

Masking isn’t super strict, so far.* Bars and clubs in San Francisco are being pretty loose with the mask requirements and the producers I’ve talked to think that’ll be the case for Folsom weekend. You will probably have to wear one on your way into the clubs and still bring your proof of vaccination along with ID. *Caveat: People are reporting that Oasis was being super-strict for Labor Day, but I’m hearing from my sources they are going to be relaxing things.

*** DNA LOUNGE (BIG MUSCLE PARTY) *** is not accepting copies or photos of your vaccination card. They will accept your original paper card or the CA QR code.
*** DNA LOUNGE (BIG MUSCLE PARTY) *** is not accepting copies or photos of your vaccination card. They will accept your original paper card or the CA QR code.
*** DNA LOUNGE (BIG MUSCLE PARTY) *** is not accepting copies or photos of your vaccination card. They will accept your original paper card or the CA QR code.

Tickets are selling faster than ever. Most producers tell me they’ve sold more tickets faster than in 2019. Most of the events that are sold out online will have some tickets at the door the night-of, except for Real Bad.

Everyone in San Francisco is super fucking pissed we are still dealing with this bullshit after enduring the longest and strictest shut down in the country for over a year and a half while other states have done nothing and their governors are ordering refrigerated trucks to hold more bodies.

Party grid for the weekend (tap to open full size) below: (compare to 2019 grid)

If you’re impatient, jump past my platitudes and get to the list.

Folsom is a Rorschach.

It reflects your sexual identity back at you. You learn what turns you on and what doesn’t. What you once thought was kink and what you now think is vanilla. What you might try, what you’re glad you tried, and what you’d never even consider (well, maybe next year). Who you’re scared to admit you want to be, what you’re scared to admit you want, and what you’re absolutely sure you don’t.

What is Folsom Street Fair?

Folsom Street Fair (also referred to as just “Folsom”) is the world’s largest outdoor leather/fetish event and usually attracts half a million people every year from all over the world. The fair is produced by the Folsom Street Events non-profit organization raising money for an annual roster of beneficiaries. If you’re familiar with July’s Up Your Alley street fair (also produced by the Folsom org), Folsom is generally a more ‘mainstream’ and straighter affair than Dore alley weekend. Straight kinksters and fetishists have been important partners in the fight for LGBT equality and visibility and Folsom is for them, too. Everyone realizes that after the far-right gets done outlawing queer sexual thrills, they’ll continue with the rest of the Handmaid’s Tale training manual (and I even wrote that bit before the Texas bullshit started).

You’ll hear The Gays complain that the fair isn’t what it used to be and the Folsom organization has let the event lose its edge. It’s too tame. Too straight. Too many women. (Which usually means they pine for the days of manly-men-only events and venues.) But bitching that things aren’t the way they used to be is one of San Francisco’s most hallowed pastimes. Along with complaining about rents and being seen standing in line for things.

You might see producers refer to the weekend as “FLSM” or just “Leather Weekend.” It’s all the same. The Folsom organization can be pretty draconian about protecting their trademarks.

And yes “Happy Folsom!” is a tiding people will say as they greet you over the weekend.

Why is it called MEGAHOOD2021 this year?

The Folsom organization is presenting an abbreviated version of the street fair this year, so they wanted to call it something different. MEGAHOOD was the original name of the street fair when it first started in 1984. I predict people will still call it Folsom.

This year’s street fair will be more focused on the vendors, artisans, and community organizations that need to promote and sell their wares in light of a year of lost business. Next year they should be back to the usual name and the usual stuff.

What was Folsom Street Market in July?

The Folsom org also renamed their July street fair, previously known as Up Your Alley. Also affectionately know as Dore Alley, the July event was renamed to Folsom Street Market for this 2021. Again, emphasis on the vendors and community. Completely not confusing at all.

Know your history

Photo above from the June 26, 1964 issue of Life magazine profile “Homosexuality in America,” a landmark in LGBT visibility

I’d be remiss if I didn’t include some history. It’s hard to convey how much leather, kink, and fetish culture is woven into the fabric of San Francisco. It’s a horny city.

That libertine spirit has grown to include all sexualities and genders and all types of people and expanded across the world. Here’s some reading for your flight here:

This context is also important because many have a knee-jerk reaction to this collection of people and behaviors. It’s hard to express to straight people sometimes, “We do it this way. I can’t entirely explain why we do it this way, but this is how we do it.” Numerous religious right fundamentalist websites use photos from the street fair to depict all queer people. Some would argue if we just didn’t dress up like that or throw it in everyone’s faces that we’d have more queer acceptance faster but let’s be honest: They’d murder us for simply holding hands. See also: Respectability politics.

The annual “kink at pride” hand-wringing seemed to blow up bigger than usual this year (with lots of photos from Folsom used as examples, instead of actual Pride celebrations). Looks like it was driven primarily by Gen Z queer-folk that don’t know their history along with the 4chan trolls’s annual operation Pridefall. You can be prudish with your own tastes, but you better respect and you better recognize. Here’s a good Twitter thread discussing why kink and leather is insperable from Pride. And the call to be “family-friendly” is just coded language for assimilation.

If you don’t like it, then it isn’t for you, and isn’t intended for you and it’s completely fine if you stay away. That’s why the street fair requires admission and minors aren’t allowed and all these parties are over 21.

For some people, leather and fetish is a core part of their identity and peer groups. Many queer people come out of the closet but still don’t quite feel like the mainstream gay community is for them (often it’s what they see portrayed in media: upper class, assimilated, prudish/vanilla, gay, white, urban). They then find their leather/fetish/kink group and feel more at home and Folsom celebrates that every year.

For others it’s a fun weekend to get a little wild, experiment with a different mode of dress or behavior, and push your own boundaries of what you like and who you are.

Here’s a list of many of the events of Megahood/Folsom weekend:

When someone asks me to describe Folsom weekend overall I usually say: It’s like a big gay leather prom.

And just like prom, everyone dresses in their Sunday best, everyone is ready to dance and have a great time. And everyone has high (and probably unrealistic expectations) about how much they’re going to get laid. Think Molly Ringwald’s 50 Load Weekend.

Also like prom, you might run into some mean girls or mean bears or mean muscle queens or belligerent twinks that are more intested in throwing attitude than having a good time. You can usually find these assholes standing outside the dance floor not moving at all, just posing. You can tell because they aren’t sweating from dancing. They look amazing and they’ve worked hard all year to look this good and fuck only guys that look just like them (and they are starving). Tell them they look stunning and then go to the opposite side of the club where people are actually having fun.

Generally the San Francisco crowd is warm and friendly to a fault. The general etiquette is such that everyone introduces everyone to everyone else. As far I can tell this doesn’t happen at other cities (the Atlantis cruises, kinda). Also, that’s how you remember a guy’s name. Introduce him to someone else so they have to say their name again.

It’s like we say back in Indiana, “The way to a man’s hole is through his husband.”

As you read the guide please keep in mind that:

Taste in music is so individual

I can rage for hours at an afterhours until 8am and then have a friend say, “Yeah it was too dark, didn’t really do it for me.” Then, we were at another party from one of the city’s top producers and headlining DJs with a more disco-y edge and everyone’s grooving and it isn’t moving me at all. And sometimes I just want straight-up dead-eyed muscle-queen basic-bitch four-on-the-floor primetime circuit. Some find it completely monotonous.

My motto is: If you can’t fuck to it, I can’t dance to it. That’s probably why our favorite getting-ready-to-go-out song is Ivan Gomez’s remix of Danny Tenaglia’s club mix of Wayne G’s “Twisted,” “Do You Fuck As Well as You Dance?” (1 minute in on this J. Warren mix).

San Franciso parties are different

San Francisco parties have a beating heart. They have a soul.

We went to Madrid Pride a couple years ago and attended several of the We Party production group’s parties. They were stunning evenings with up to 10,000 guys at iconic venues like Fabrik and La Riveria. The production design was absolutely astounding (video). You would have seen similar scale if you were in World Pride in New York a few years ago with the massive events at the Javits Center party, the Pier for Madonna, or Alegria.

Guys come to San Francisco and enjoy the switch to smaller, more intimate events. Going from 10,000 men and tons of lighting hardware rigged to soaring ceilings, to several hundred guys packed into Club Six with the low basement ceilings practically sweating from the humidity, is a huge change in dynamic and tone. In San Francisco, you are more likely to see the same guys several times a night or throughout the weekend. There’s more a sense of us.

Almost all of the events detailed in this guide are from part-time producers and groups of volunteers who have day jobs and partners and families and lives. They don’t make millions doing these events (and often lose money just trying to make the bar minimum on other weekends).

And sure they can get competitive. But when two producers for a Dore Saturdaty party got COVID, the production team from the party the night before stepped right in to help make sure the party went off without a hitch. That’s not going to happen in many cities.

We know many of these DJs and producers personally, and I can tell you that they ache over every single detail and minute of every party trying to bring the best possible experience to a legendary weekend. They do it for the sheer love of music and dance and celebration. We head into the club with the spirit of, “I can’t wait to see what our friends have cooked up us tonight!”

So at 3:30am when the mix of sweat and leather hangs in the air and Donna Summer croons, “Oooooooo… I feel love, I feel love, I feel love, I feel love…. I fee-eeel love…” and you’ve got one beautiful man in your arms, and another behind you, his beard brushing the back of your neck, and the guy you met at the other party is smiling from across the crowd, and everyone is moving in unison, say to yourself, “This is how they do it in San Francisco.”

I’ve included links to photo galleries for most of the events so you can get a sense for what the mix of the crowd is like and what to wear. I also tried to include profiles for the DJs so you can get a sense of what the music will be like. Several events that have not yet been confirmed but they’ve happened every year so many years surely they’re gonna happen.

All of these events are for vaccinated adults only.

All bars, nightclubs, and events in San Francisco are requiring proof of vaccination for entry, with the date of the second shot being 2 weeks in the past.

Most producers and venues are accepting a copy of your vaccination card or a photo of your vaccination card on you phone or digital proof through an app. Be sure to check the detail pages closer to the events.

*** DNA LOUNGE (BIG MUSCLE PARTY) *** is not accepting copies or photos of your vaccination card. They will accept your original paper card or the CA QR code.

I have yet to hear of a venue demanding the exact paper copy of your vaccination card.

California residents you can get a QR code to save to your phone on the California Department of Public Health site.

Saturday, September 18th (a week before)

LeatherWalk 2021 produced by the Leather & LGBTQ Cultural District

The Leatherwalk is back! The traditional launch to San Francisco’s Leather Week, leather and kink enthusisasts of all stripes will walk together starting at City Hall, pausing at favorite neighborhood spots and watering holes, and culminating with the Leather Pride Fest, presented by the SF Eagle, at Eagle Plaza.

LeatherWalk 2021 benefits the Leather & LGBTQ Cultural District, a unique San Francisco institution dedicated to keeping our South of Market neighborhood queer and kinky. The money raised supports the Cultural District’s work, including murals, promoting our existing businesses, facilitating new ones, activating art and live events both indoors and out and making long-term plans to buy a building for a Leather Community Center.

Stops along the route include Oasis, Powerhouse, Hole in the Wall, Azúcar Lounge, Leather Etc., Wicked Grounds, Cat Club, Mr. S Leather, the Ringold Leather History Alley (next paragraph), the Lone Star Saloon, ending at Eagle Plaza (for Leather Pride Fest 2021, organized by the SF Eagle).

While you’re in town, walk through a history of the city’s leather scene with Leather Memoir, along Ringold Alley which before the crisis in the 1980s, “one of the go-to places for gay men to rendezvous after the numerous gay bars along Folsom Street closed for the night.” The walk includes sidewalk plaques commemorating the many men, women, businesses, and bars that have anchored leather in San Francisco.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event and on their site.

Heat at Great Northern, produced by Cecil Russel with DJs Ben Bakson and Dan Slater

Start your Folsom endurance training early! Cecil and the Gloss Presents team will have a kickoff at The Great Northern with the super-handsome Dan Slater (Miami) and Ben Bakson (Zurich).

Dan Slater on SoundCloudFacebook, and Instagram. 

Ben Bakson on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Instagram, Facebook, and his site.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

Horse Market, produced by the Stable Master

This event is on the 18th and Sunday the 19th.

Not to be confused with Horse Meat Disco (the DJs for Friday night’s Bearracuda party).

And what better way to launch into the week’s sacrilege than with the return of San Francisco’s Horse Market. I checked with the Stable Master and there won’t be a Folsom edition – but the week before for two nights. Latest update from the Stable Master.

Horse Market is a truly degenerate evening for all, inspired by Europe’s infamous Fickstutenmarkt parties (Vice article). From the site:

The mares [bottoms] arrive before the stallions [tops] and get prepared for the event. They are to strip naked, have their hands bound (lightly) and are then blindfolded. Then the stallions appear and can fully inspect the bound mares at their leisure. When a stallion has decided on a mare, he then leads the chosen mare to a place of his choice to mount. When the stallion has finished covering the mare, this mare is then available for covering by other stallions.


There’s even a Best In Show designation at the end of the event because gay men have to turn everything into a beauty pageant. Sorry: scholarship program. The tops all nominate a Best In Show Mare and the staff award the Best in Show Stallion. So all you guys bitching about Folsom getting too tame, this is that Berlin-grade filth you’ve been pining for. Our friends that have gone have said it is a wild fun time. One of them even won Best in Show Mare! We’re all so proud.

This is a private event, so you’ll need to get updates from their Facebook groupTwitter, or their mailing list and learn more on the site for the event.

Sunday, September 19th


Cocktailgate at Powerhouse, with DJ DJ Dakota Pendent, featuring Suppositori Spelling

Come to Powerhouse for the sluttiest drag show of the season! Local favorite Suppositori Spelling and her cast of bossy bottoms and feminine tops: Johnny Rockitt, Mocha Fapalatte, Redd Fafilth, and Abortia Clinik. Be sure to stay after the main show for the infamous guerilla drag! House light wizard Guido Can-Fauxking-Dito will be making all the artists look “pretty” and door whore Florence Frightgale will greet you.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event. and followthem on their Facebook Page.

Tuesday, September 21st

Powerhouse 24th Anniversary at Powerhouse

Come celebrate the 24th anniversary of everybody’s favorite filth-haus Powerhouse with hot guys, strong drinks, and hard beats!

Powerhouse is our favorite gay dive bar and they’ve been around forever attracting a broad spectrum of events, music, and men. Historically a former whorehouse, they’ve been making it happen since the 1980s down in the middle of it all in SoMa, the “South of Market” neighborhood. A leather-curtained doorway opens to reveal the front bar the usual stand-around-and-talk vibe a lot of guys want with a gogo dancing on the front corner of the, holding on to handles on the ceiling tryign to not slip off. Yes those are Crisco cans on the light fixtures. Just go ahead and take your shirt off now and save yourself the time. Music is usually house, techno, or house-y circuit. A few stairs lead past a gogo platfor, a DJ booth behind a chain link fence, and a gogo box in the middle of the dance floor and a second bar. That back door is the horny back smoking area which is so packed you can’t even move.

That “Loads of Love” mural on the front is by favorite local artist Elliot Nathan, commissioned by legendary activist Junaita MORE. The mural of the guy taking a selfie is by Simón Malvaez, commissioned by the guys at Sniffies app. The mural of a drag nun Honeybear is by (controversial) street artist Fnnch and was part of a fundraiser of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. If you don’t know about the Sisters, these tenacious drag nun activists go beyond iconic and you should read more about who they are.

Also those koi fish you see on the sidewalks are from Jeremy Novy and the sparkly girly heart paintings are by Kate Tova:

If the burrito truck is outside, know that it leaves earlier than the bar closes. We like to get burritos and sit on the curb and watch the guys spill out of the bar and figure out who they’re going home with.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

Wednesday, September 22nd

Baloney at Oasis, produced by Rory Davis

SF’s “gay all-male revue that’s not entirely gay and not entirely male” is back with their summer edition. Their second weekend of shows just so happens to line up with Folsom. We’ve gone to the show several times over the years and it’s always a fun evening with these talented sexy men of all shapes and sizes and ages. Baloney combines theater, dance, striptease, song, comedy, and acrobatics into an entertaining evening unlike anything you’ve seen before. Baloney runs September 16-17 and 23-25.

Trailer for documentary about them: Baloney: A Queer Male Burlesque.

Baloney featured in the Bay Area Reporter: Baloney’s back: saucy male burlesque show returns to Oasis

Ticket info on Eventbrite and you can catch them on Instagram and get more info on their site.

Hole-Some at Powerhouse, with DJ Prince Wolf

Titleholders welcome to San Francisco Leatherweek! After their 24th annivesary party the night before (scroll up), Powerhouse is ready to kickoff the wekend with this dirty party.

Demos by whips experts Danny Thanh Nguyen and Cody Bear Elkin will delight and dazzle while sweaty gogos will inspire your desire.

Prince Wolf on Mixcloud,

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

Thursday, September 23rd

Leather Mass at The Episcopal Church of Saint John the Evangelist

Join the faithful and fabulous of the San Francisco Night Ministrry at the Episcopal Church of Saint John the Evangelist for an inclusive Christian communion service to celebrate the leather & kink/BDSM community and its spiritual gifts.

Leather gear encouraged and as a blessing of leatherwear will take place in honor of Folsom Street Fair.

The service will also include interfaith messages of encouragement and drag queens offering solidarity in the work of spiritual healing from the religious trauma often inflicted on our communities. In belief or unbelief, we invite all to this ritual of solidarity and grace. A light reception will follow.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event and follow the Faithful & Fabulous of the SF Night Ministry.

Thursday Night Live: Folsom Edition at the Eagle with Muñecas, Lolly Gaggers, and Fulminate

SF Eagle’s Thursday Night Live returns just in time for Folsom!

Come out for a good time con la música de: Muñecas (SF/PV), Lolly Gaggers (SF), and Fulminante (Santa Cruz). Special love to Lolly Gagger’s Kochina Rude who will celebrate her birthday that night! Bring a cute look, tambien.

Muñecas, a queer latinx punk band that has been playing the SF scene for six years. Three “locas from San Francisco out of PV” with Horchata LaShyGirl, Tamale Ringwald, and Cholula Caliente. Their sound is one part riotgrrrl, one part crispy dark wave, and two parts chingona-puta power anthems to make your primas say pow!

Lolly Gaggers is a a snarling, gallows-humorous all-queer post-punk group influenced by no-wave noise, 90s punk, rockabilly, and deathrock and they just released their latest album, Songs for a Plague.

Fulinmate is a Santa Cruz-based trio formed in 2015 when LA native guitarist/vocalist Brenda, sought to play music along the veins of Manu Chao and Gogol Bordello and was looking for like-minded musicians. Paul and Josue, who had played together in another project previously, answered the call and the rest is history. The band’s sound incorporates punk, rockabilly, ska, twangy blues rock, as well as latin influences to form a bombastic mix that will keep you moving.

The Eagle was established in the 1980s as one of the first “leather bars” and has been the heart of activism and entertainment and patronage for over forty year and is on its way to being a historic landmark. Standing outside you’ll see a huge leather pride flag flying high and you’ll hear the hearty mumur of men out on the patio. First though you’ll come through the front door with a bar all the way back, a stage in the back with a DJ on the side, gogos on a box and/or the pool table. Another bar to your right that also serves the outside patrons on the other side. A door way leads to the huge outdoor patio/courtyard that will no doubt be packed with men, and a bar toward the back of that space. The line for drinks can be slow when the bar is in full swing so find a guy to chat up and grope while you’re waiting.

Muñecas on Bandcamp and Facebook.

Lolly Gaggers on Facebook.

Fulminate on Facebook, Instagram, Spotify, YouTube, SoundCloud, their site, and featured in this Good Times article, “Love Your Local Band: Fulminate.

Kochina Rude on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. who also hosts the Princess Party every Saturday night at Oasis.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event and the Eagle’s Thursday Night Live on Facebook.

Histrionixx at Monarch, produced by Dana Iwaniec with DJs Erica Mar, Fawks, Piano Rain, Khavera, and BashBabyBlue

The new monthly event featuring trans, queer, and non-binary artists is back with a “fully estrogenated evening of esoteric electronic entertainment.”

Erica, a co-founding member of the New World Dysorder collective, has been a hidden staple in the Oakland music scene for the past decade. She evokes ethereal sounds that feel like you are being lured in a dark liminal space.

Dancing through a myriad of genres, Fawks cultivates inclusive spaces for the queer underground to thrive and express themselves through music and kink with the help of the collective he co-founded, Fog City Pack and his newly launched independent event FawksTales (that’s his afterhours Friday night into Saturday morning, below).

Piano Rain promises she can compose her symphony but first she must learn to compose herself.

Denver based sound seductress Piano Rain returns to the Bay Area for her sequel, “Piano School Dropout”

Khavera – Oakland’s own trans dyke rave witch – blends chaotic industrial revs, terrorcore ritual, and techno arson.

BashBabyBlue plays finite times of melody and chaos collapsed and preserved through digital sonic programming.

Monarch has a plush ground floor and a particularly seedy fantastic basement. It’s on the same area as Club 6 so be careful around there and probably don’t walk there alone.

Erica Mar on Bandcamp.

Fawks Gilić on SoundCloud, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and his website.

Piano Rain on Bandcamp.

Khavera on SoundCloud and Instagram.

BashBabyBlue on SoundCloud.

Crying for attention suggested. Melodrama and diva behavior required.


Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

BB & J at Powerhouse

Boxers, briefs, and jockstraps – and a harness of course! It’s an underwear party perfectly fit for a Folsom.

Friday, September 24th

What happened to the Folsom Block Party at Mr. S Leather?

Brian and the team at Mr. S regret to inform us that they will not be having their infamous two-day block party in and around their store which usually includes DJs, gogos, bartenders pouring drinks, bootblacks shining, cigar enthusiasts out on the sidewalk, and guys cruising from every corner – while hundreds of hot guys are shopping and trying on their full range of harnesses, clothing, gear, and toys.

They are having a party Wednesday night at Powerhouse (see above).

But the retail store should be open by then. Right now they are back to just pickup at the front if you buy online. But hopefully with full in-store staffing and service by Folsom. Update Sept 13th: Retail is now open.

Now celebrating 40 years of leather, kink, and style, Mr. S Leather is a San Francisco mainstay and globally recognized leather and fetish brand.

If you are going to buy some new leather finery during your trip, get over there when you first get to San Francisco. They can do alterations onsite to ensure a perfect fit and often while you wait. Their leatherworkers will be going overtime so that might be more difficult as the weekend kicks in. Harnesses, hats, ballcaps, boots, uniforms, vests, blindfolds, ropes, lubes, jockstraps, singlets, socks, toys… they’ve got it all. And slings for rent.

Mr. S staff are helpful and friendly and want to make sure you look your best – even if you’re new to the whole leather thing. I remember finding the place super intimidating when we first went since we didn’t know much about leather culture. You want to wear the right thing right, right? Now we live just a 10 minute walk away and go at least once a month. I went from having panic attacks when I first walked in to being a model for the new harness they debuted a couple years ago.

If you’re worried about wearing your harness wrong: Just check how they are styled on Mr. S Leather’s site or whatever vendor you got it from. A lot of guys wear their harnesses way too low and too loose. You should feel the tightness, the restraint. It’s basically a corset for your shoulders. Shoulders back, pecs out!

If you have a narrow build, look at the harnesses with thinner strips of leather. Some guys can’t pull of harnesses with a lot of leather pieces, coverage, and hardware – and honestly if you’re going to be dancing for hours and hours, you don’t want all that stuff hanging off your body.

Mr. S also has their famed brown bottle “cleaning solution.”

You can follow their Facebook page or Instagram to stay up to date.

Brüt at Great Northern, produced by Hedonic Productions and Brian Kent Productions with DJs Morabito and Calagna

Folsom Friday, Ron and I will be joining the men of Brüt party as some of your gracious, persuadable hosts helping to facilitate you in making regrettable life choices.

Brüt started as an NYC party but its special mix of leather, music, and muscle has reached across the globe with events in other major cities. We’ve been attending and hosts for Brüt parties for many years now in San Francisco, and it’s an incredible evening of dancing with primal music pumping and guys ready to have a good time.

This special edition of Brüt features two legendary DJs – Morabito and Calagna!

We’ve heard Morabito several times and she’s magnificent. Morabito has dominated the dance scene for over three decades and played at pretty much every big event in the world, driving every party with a wide range of tribal, underground, progressive and tech house into a seamless experience on the dance floor,

Calagna we’ve also heard several times and they’re also amazing. Their unique blend of organic sounds, poetic wisdom, hypnotic beats, and modern pulses combine to elevate the listener to the center of their consciousness and the heart of the dancefloor. Mixing sensual and spiritual rhythms with tones of empowerment and ecstasy. They define their soul-enriching sound as “omtronica.”

Again this is one of those events where I don’t care who is opening for whom, go early and enjoy every minute of these mixmasters.

The Great Northern (previously Mighty) is a big warehouse dance space with a “future deco” design with exposed brick wall and art deco accents (love the stained glass motif above the bar). The club has that step down from the bar into the dancefloor. You can watch queens trip over it all night if you need entertainment. The crystal clear sound system keeps the music from being over-loud and you don’t have to yell at the guy next to you to have a conversation.

Morabito on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Facebook,Instagram, Twitter, and website.

Calagna on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Facebook, Instagram, Spotify, and Beatport.

Brüt featured in:

Photo galleries from past Brüt events. 

Full details on the Brüt event page on Facebook and on the Brüt party website.

Prime at Club 6, produced by TrophyDad with DJs Neon and Phil B

Friday also marks the return of TrophyDad’s Prime party dedicated to “men in their prime and their admirers.” Hot gogo daddies (all over 50) tower atop the boxes and keep you entertained while a broad group of dads, boys, otters, wolves, bears, and the rest of the zoo come together to celebrate and dance and enjoy.

They’ll be at Club 6. On the ground floor, Prime’s resident DJ Neon spins his trademark blend of celebratory vocals and lots of classics – all with a bit more bawlz behind it. 

Meanwhile downstairs is the Daddy Pit, with the aggressive overt vibe of the leather bars of days gone by with low ceilings, lower inhibitions, and a play space – with local mixmaster Phil B bringing that dark, sexy sound he’s pioneered for years (DJ Serge from Berlin had to cancel due to travel issues).

Prime party started a few years ago with our friend Ed throwing himself a big 50th birthday party and then it kinda became a thing. I think as the generation of men that survived the 80s and 90s is hitting their 50s and 60s their redefining what it is to be a gay man after 50: active, vital, confident, horny, and fun.

Club Six is on this strange hellhole block of 6th Street between Market and Mission. You should be fine walking in a group but if you’re solo, I’d grab a car or find some other guys in leather and chat them up and walk with them. There’s a reason the convenience store cashiers are behind plexiglass. Keep your phone in your pocket, headphones off, and your wits about you – that goes for the whole weekend.

Get there early, the line for this event went all way down a block and half down the alley and the line inside for clothes check was all way from the basement up the stairs and into the bar.

Read more about the genesis of the Prime party in Race Bannon’s article in The Bay Area Reporter“Celebrating Grey — the Older Kinkster” 

DJ Neon on MixcloudSoundCloud, and Facebook. 

DJ Phil B on MixcloudSoundCloud, and Facebook. One of my favorite of Phil’s mixes is Bay of Pigs 2015 (that tease “I Feel Love” without vocals is unforgettable).

Visuals, lasers, and videos from the always dazzling William Brown. 

Details on the Facebook page for the event and follow TrophyDad’s Facebook page and see lots of photo galleries on the TrophyDad’s Facebook page including photos of 2019’s Dore edition.

Horse Meat Disco at Public Works, presented by Bearracuda with DJs Horse Meat Disco and Mateo Segade

If Friday night you’re feeling into the thick hairy boys and/or a big hairy boy yourself, the Bearracuda crew is back with their trademark winning formula of big boys and fat beats. These aren’t those Insta-twink fiber pill influencers that are all omg sis, I’m so thicc or the muscle queens that are all Folsom is gonna get whatever body I give it! while being coy about their cum gutters (have you ever tried to explain cum gutters to straight people?). No bitch, these are the original thick boys. Thick with a capital K. Booty with a capital T. The kinda heft you want to feel on top of you (or underneath).

Producer Matt Bearracuda and the boys are pleased as punch to bring London’s notorious Horse Meat Disco to the main floor of Public Works for the entire six-hour evening. HMD is billed as “a disco behemoth of classics, italo disco, oddities, [and] punk funk.” In the upstairs lounge is local mixmeister DJ Mateo Segade.

We’ve gone to many Bearracuda events over the years and it’s always a friendly mix of guys and a great vibe. And I’ve heard positive reviews from friends that have gone to Horse Meat Disco parties all over the world. Overwhelmingly they say if disco is your thing, then this is your party.

Public Works features a dense main floor with two story ceilings and a wrap around balcony above with a side lounge loft tucked in to the side. Lots of places to watch and be watched.

Background on the Bearracuda parties – produced in over 60 cities all over the world – and their creator Matt in this profile in Homoculture.

Profile and interviews with the four DJs that make up London’s Horse Meat Disco and their first album in The Guardian.

Horse Meat Disco on MixcloudSoundCloudInstagram, and Facebook. No word yet on which two of the four HMD DJs is joining us.

DJ Mateo Segade on MixcloudSoundCloudInstagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

Details on the Bearracuda websitethe Facebook page for the event, (their Facebook Page), their Instagram, and here’s a photo gallery from a couple years ago.

A Club Called Rhonda at The Great Northern, with DJs Hercules & Love Affair, Mystic Bill, Vin Sol, MPHD, M3, and Goddollars

Straight from LA, come carouse with the creamiest cornucopia of creatures collectively known as Rhonda. Don’t know much about these parties so asked a few friends who said music is disco-house with a fresh trendy beat-driven tracks you haven’t heard before and not a ton of vocals. Vibe is very queer – less gay-male – and lights are “exclusively and exquisitely” red and blue, where the the girls always serve fashion. “Generally a good time, every time.”

Hercules & Love Affair features a rotating cast of performers and musicians working in the genres of house music, disco, techno and nu-disco. Born in Denver, now based in Belgium, The Observer calls them  “possibly the most disparate bunch ever to come together, call themselves a band and release an album. The five members walk into the room in a blaze of colour and mismatched clothes like a pick’n’mix bag of sweets.” The New York Times said they have “a distinctly Continental sound.” Full profile on their Wikipedia page.

Born in Miami, Mystic Bill’s move to Chicago in 1988 was inspired by his obsession with house and industrieal music. Bill’s a luminary in the second wave of house and techno producers in Chicago, influencing Black Madonna, Kink, Axel Boman, and Matrixxman. Styles ragne from Detroit techno and Chicago acid to rarer house house & Italo disco tracks.

Vin Sol is a local SF-based artist making music around the Bay for the past couple decades. Links to music below.

MPHD promises “dark music for better times” with driving techno with enough abstract sounds to you undulating.

Goddollars is the creator (and destroyer) and party paladin for the Aquarian Age.-

M3 – short for “makes me move” – has been a stalwart in the Bay Area music commmunity since 1990. Beginning with downtempo mixes, he quickly evolved to the funk-charged expression of house and techno bangers he is known for today and his own legendary party brand Green Gorilla Loung and as co-owner of SF nightlife staple Monarch nightclub.

Hercules & Love Affair on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and their site.

Mystic Bill on SoundCloud, Facebook, Discogs, and Twitter.

Vin Sol on SoundCloud, Facebook, and Twitter.

MPHD on SoundCloud, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

M3 on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Discogs, and his site.

Goddollars on SoundCloud, Facebook, and Twitter.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event and A Club Called Rhonda on Instagram, Facebook, and photos of patron age on their recent feature in Papermag.

Jody Wisternoff at Audio

I’ve had a few friends who are EDM fans mention Jody Wisternoff will be in town at Audio club.

While this is not an explicitly gay or leather event, you owe it to your leather forebears to wear a harness, take your shirt off, grope eachother and show the straight people how it’s done.

Darren over at the The Gay Rave and Circuit Almanac group on Facebook are planning a whole group outing to hear Tinlicker that night before diving into the rest of Folsom weekend. Here is the specific Facebook event for the gays that are going. 

Jody Wistenroff on SoundCloud, Instagram, Twitter,and Facebook, and his site. More about Jody and his music in this interview with EDM Identity.

More details on the Facebook page for the event.

Chest at Powerhouse, produced by Lincoln Anderson,

Chest is our local monthly nipple play party, every fourth Friday at Powerhouse. No cover before 9pm.

Wear your tit suckers, bring a buddy, or find one and come rub, tug, and twist nips with friendly guys.

Free coat check for the shirtless.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

And after an early evening of nipple enthusiasm, stay on for:

Stank at Powerhouse, with DJs Jumpr and Mikeetcetera

Want a whiff? Get a waft! Everybody’s favorite gay dive bar kicks off the weekend with a evening devoted to the natural smell of men as God made ’em and as God intended.

Stop showering a couple days beforehand and hit the gym hard so you can go in perfectly fragrant (we have a couple friends who declare it “natural poppers”). Be ready to bury your face in a man’s ripe pits and enjoy the aroma and taste of the gogos as they ply their trade.

But get there before midnight so you can participate in (or just appreciate) the Ripe Pits Contest.

DJ Jumpr on Instagram and SoundCloud. Here’s his set from the pups’ virtual Beta party last year, Omega party 2019, Omega 2018, and their 2018 Packed party.

DJ Mikeetcetera on Instagram and SoundCloud.

More details on the Facebook page for the event and on Stank’s Instagram.

Prowl at Eagle with DJ Brent Milne

The Folsom edition of Prowl at the Eagle features a cigar lounge. Brent Milne – from Denver’s Ram parties and Brut Bear events – will keep the men bouncing as they prowl around for what this weekend is famous for.

Brent Milne on SoundCloud, YouTube, Mixcloud, Instagram, Facebook. and his podcast.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.


Big Boy at Lone Star Saloon with DJ boyshapedbox and special guest Chaka Quan

Big Boy is back for a special Folsome edition. Big Boys know how to have fun! DJ boyshaped box is serving up great music and cold beers this month and special guest Chaka Quan is sure to delight.

Initially a bar for old gay hippies, Lone Star opened in 1989 – without a liquor license. Just beer and wine and sake fresh from the microwave. The bar was later demolished after the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake and later moved to their current home on Harrison street. Patrons from the leather/biker bar across the street intermingled with the bear scene and the rest is history – along with their infamous back patio.

DJ boyshapedbox on Facebookand SoundCloud

Chaka Quan on Twitter and Twitch.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

Folsom Afters produced by Fawks Gilić and Devin Jay, with DJ Outputmessage, Fawks Gilić, Devin Jay, and Milos Gilić

Fawks has been bringing the funky and seductive techno sound to the queer underground for years now and we’re delighted to see he’s bringing us an afties for the Friday-to-Saturday slot. They’re tackling the dirtiest weekend of the year with the dirtiest beats, promising more lights, more sound, more fog and more bangin’ techno than ever before.

Headliner Outputmessage – D.C.-based artist Bernard Farley – creates familiar, yet subversive, multi-faceted experiences that explore themes of queer and black identity. Pitchfork declared his music, “captures subtle gradations of mood within a narrow range, resulting in a record that sounds remote, dreamy, and chill.”

The venue will be announced the day-of and will be in the SoMa neighborhood.

Outputmessage on Bandcamp, Spotify,, SoundCloud, Twitter, Instagram, and their site.

Fawks Gilić on SoundCloud, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and his website.

Devin Jay on SoundCloud, Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram.

Milos Gilić on SoundCloud, Facebook, and Instagram.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

Saturday, September 25th

Big Muscle Party at DNA Lounge, benefiting Positive Resource Center

*** DNA LOUNGE (BIG MUSCLE PARTY) *** is not accepting copies or photos of your vaccination card. They will accept your original paper card or the CA QR code.
*** DNA LOUNGE (BIG MUSCLE PARTY) *** is not accepting copies or photos of your vaccination card. They will accept your original paper card or the CA QR code.
*** DNA LOUNGE (BIG MUSCLE PARTY) *** is not accepting copies or photos of your vaccination card. They will accept your original paper card or the CA QR code.

I always like taking friends to this event because if you don’t know it’s happening on a Saturday afternoon, you don’t know what you’ve been missing. Several hundred muscle guys of all sizes and stripes, and their admirers pack into DNA Lounge (founded with Netscape money and like every other big venue always at risk of closing) to have cocktails and dance and make Mary. It’s got a fantastic vibe whether you’re in the mood to dance on the main floor, chill in the back lounges, hang out and chit-chat in the side bars, or people-watch from the wrap-around balcony.

Ron and I contend that this party usually has the hottest crowd of Folsom weekend. And some of the guys are yooooge! Like water buffalo galloping through amber waves of grain on the dance floor. It always makes me want to start a Tumblr called Big Guys, Tiny Fans.

It’ll be bright outside and dark as night indoors so it’ll take you a bit to see once you’re in the club. Reminder: DNA Lounge is a huge venue! It took me a couple years to realize, “Ohhh shit there’s that back bar there… and oh damn is that another bar further on back…” So after you’ve enjoyed the main floor, go upstairs to the balcony, the side bar on the left with the windows to the street (and another DJ lineup), the bar behind that, the bar behind that (and another DJ lineup), the bar that swings around behind back into the balcony to the lounge with seating and back around to the other side of the club.

There’s also the photo booth in the balcony (house-left) where you can get photos of your hot ass and hot-ass friends for posterity. It closes earlier than the event ends, so be sure to get up there sooner than later.

If you get overheated, there are A/C vents to chill you right in front of the street-side balcony bar.

Halfway through the party you’ll meet the men of this year’s Bare Chest Calendar. For 35 years the annual calendar has been a huge part of the San Francisco community, raising over $3 million for PRC and its program AIDS Emergency Fund. PRC (Positive Resorce Center) is devoted to providing residential treatment and supportive housing for people with mental health, substance use, and HIV/AIDS-related issues. Buy a calendar!

And yes you’re smelling pizza from the dance floor. DNA Pizza (menu) is next door through the doors on the left. Cuz, you know these gals like to eat. The veggie slice is called Artichoke-Me-Daddy. You can go between the pizzeria and the club and even go outside for a smoke or a vape during the event – just be sure you don’t sweat off your wrist stamp.

Aside from the pizza the area between Audio, DNA Lounge, Halcyon, and Oasis often has street vendors serving bacon wrapped hotdogs and holy fuuuuuuck are they good. If you smell sizzling meat, be on the lookout.

This event will sell out. Get tickets now.

If the “buy a ticket” line outside is too long. You can proably buy tickets on your phone on the DNA Lounge site and then jump over to the ticketholder line which moves faster. Or just buy your ticket now and save a few dollars. Usually $15-$20 at the door but advance tickets available on the DNA Lounge site. Service fees are kinda bullshit but know that none of that goes to the producers.

Photo gallery to show you who-all’s there and what to wear in Out magazine: “109 Photos From BigMuscle Party at Folsom Street Fair”

Full details on the BigMuscleBears Facebook page and tickets on the DNA Lounge website.

Mr. Leather Queen at District 6 benfetting Larkin Street Youth Services, produced by Cecil Russell and Ky Martinez, with DJs Alex Acosta and Arno Diem

After a successful Mr. Queen party for Pride, local impressarios Cecil Russell and Ky Martinez are bringing us Mr. Leather Queen, an outdoor open-air tea dance at District 6.

Distrcit 6 is our local food truck hub and features a gaggle of food trucks with various fares each weekend. For this Folsom Saturday, they’ve commandeered the entire space with four food trucks to choose from, space for seating and eating and dancing in the sun – or in the shade. Multiple bars, souped-up sound system, and visuals taking you into the night – plus an exclusive VIP chalet.

Alex Acosta is one of our favorite DJs. We last heard him at the Heaven closing party for Dore weekend at DNA Lounge. Alex brings you deep, tribal, aggressive beats. Never too dark or abstract. He always has the crowd chanting and the rafters rattling.

Arno Diem I haven’t heard before and there’s not much prose about him out there. Links below.

Alex Acosta on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Instagram, Facebook, and his site.

Arno Diem on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Instagram, Facebook, and his site.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event and on the Gloss Presents site.

Bouncy House, produced by The Rubber Band, at Powerhouse

Also on Saturday afternoon is Powerhouse’s annual rubber reunion party: Bouncy House!

Step out in your shiniest gear for an afternoon of great company and slippery fun including raffle and prizes, latex shining and buffing, and Bianca’s famous Jell-O shots. Hosted by AJ Huff (Mr. Rubber San Francisco 2020), Bianca Spencer (Ms. Rubber San Francisco 2020), Andrew Steven Kent (Mx. Rubber San Francisco 2020), and Brock Bierbrod (SF Fetish Pet 2020).

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

Pure Trash at Catalyst, produced by Pighaus with DJs Fawks and Sir Harding

If you missed out on Horsemarket last weekend, this event from the “BBrooklyn bred” guys at Pighaus, might be a good runner-up. They also produce a party called Breed Festival. oprah-there-you-go.gif

Catalyst is a community dungeon space. A nondescript door gives way to a modest lobby, an upstairs locker room and dark room, and then the main floor features scaffolding perfect for ropes and bondage and other violent delights. We went to a secret birthday party there back when such things had to be secret and it was a great time.

Fawks Gilić on SoundCloud, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and his website.

Sir Harding on SoundCloud. and Twitter.

Details on their private mailing list and follow them on Instagram, Twitter,

Whatever happened to Magnitude?

Legendary Folsom Saturday dance party Magnitude is no longer produced as an official event of the Folsom Street Events organization since 2019. Here’s the organization’s explanation in The Fight magazine: “Keeping It Fresh: What’s New And Different At Folsom Street Events:”

“Magnitude has always had high production costs, primarily due to its sheer size (approximately 2,500 attendees). There are no existing night clubs in SF that have that capacity, so we have been working with large scale venues that, in most cases, require a complete build (sound, lighting, stages), and come with an exorbitantly high rental fee – we’re talking $50K to $75K to rent the space. However, many of those venues have either closed, or are unwilling to host the event due to its sexual nature. In the past, we’ve been fortunate enough to have a space at Magnitude for “getting frisky.” That changed in 2017, EVERY venue we approached was not on board with it, so that aspect of the party had to go away. … Also to note in 2017, we thought we had found Magnitude’s “forever home” at the San Francisco Armory. However, the building sold and the new owners had no interest in hosting the event. Magnitude as a party is over 20 years old, and lost money for the first time, affecting the entire organization. We had to reduce our charitable giving amounts and we had to make substantial cuts to our 2019 administration and production budgets. We literally do not have the funds to produce Magnitude this year. We want to keep it fresh, and with the overwhelming need to find the right venue within our budget to keep the party to our standards, we thought it best to take at least a year off.”

No large venues will allow advertised and specific play spaces.

It’s a fucking shame, really. Gay billionaires out there, please buy The Armory, give it a huge endowment, and put the women who ran Mezzanine (closed last year and now office space) in charge. Do The Eagle and Club 6 as well.

Red Light at Social Hall SF, presented by Masteurdome, produced by Brian Kent Productions, with DJs Ralphi Rosario and Dan Darlington

Consummate showman and producer Brian Kent gave us the legendary Jungle party at The Armory where you walked through an indoor jungle to get to the dance floor, stopping at a real wildlife petting zoo along the way, ending up in a cavnernous space ready to dance the night away. No matter the venue, Brian always pushes our local scene to be more startling, more innovative, expanding the local palette of party and music. We went to Masteurdome for 2019 and it was an absolutely terrific event. He’s back with Red Light.

Superstar DJ Ralphi Rosario has worked with everyone from Beyoncé to Donna Summer and has spun leather events the world over. When he and Abel spin together (he does Aftershock on Sat night/Sun morning) they are Rosabel. Every time we’ve heard Ralphi he’s been amazing. He spun a few of the parties in Saugatuck and was great.

And Dan Darlington you’ll know as the producer of NYC’s hot and horny Brut paties (which you were just at the night before). One Brut SF, it was later into the night when things start to feel a little otherworldly, and Dan was on the decks in jock and harness (with his usual devilish grin), and he’d just suspended a really hard bass line, and as you caught your breath from dancing so hard, he faded in an isolated vocal of Debbie Gibson cooing, “No… only in my dreams… as real as it may seem… you are only in my dreams…” Absolutely transcendent. 

Social Hall SF is the concert hall of The Regency Ballroom with open archways and two main rooms.

Get there early. Both DJs are phenomenal.

Ralphi Rosario on MixcloudSoundCloudFacebook, and Instagram.

Dan Darlington on MixcloudSoundCloudFacebook, and Instagram. My favorite Brüt mix of all time is still this Folsom mix from a couple years ago. It absolutely purrs

Full details on the Facebook page for the event

Pervert at Midway, produced by Cecil Russel, Matinee, and XOXO Productions, with DJs Tom Stephan, Nina Flowers, Paulo Fragoso, J Warren, and live act Amanda

Producers Cecil Russell, and Mansingh Chouhan and the team at XOXO have joined forces with European production group Matinee to bring the Pervert party to San Francisco. Direct from Circuit Festival in Barcelona, Pervert features 10 hours of music with international master DJ Tom Stephan and luminaries Nina Flowers, Paulo Fragoso, and J Warren. “Live Act: Amanda” is on the poster. Not sure what that means yet.

Tom Stephan we’ve heard several times at IML and other events and he’s always good. With 17 Billboard Number One hits, he’s spun Black Party, White Party, Algeria, etc. pretty much every big party everywhere. A darker circuit sound with a horny edge born from the NYC afterhours scene and mixed with an East London sound. He also mixes under the psuedonym Superchumbo.

If you don’t know her music, you might know Nina Flowers from her stints on Ru Paul’s Drag RaceDrag U, and Drag Race: All Stars. Nina Flowers descends upon a party like a vengeful alien queen ready to tear the fucking walls down with the dirtiest hardest beats you’ve ever heard. You won’t be able to sit still.

We’ve known J Warren for years and he is perfectly at home with a tea dance, prime time, or afterhours mix with a relentless drive. It’ll be good to hear him do something darker and hornier.

Brazilian-born, Miami-based Paulo Fragoso blends house, tribal, and the progressive styles and energetic sets all over the world. And he’s easy on the eyes so there’s that.

Pervert is at Midway, one of the city’s largest performance venues. If you want something in the Euro high-gloss high-production style of circuit, this is probably your best bet.

These same producers did an event at the same venue for SF Pride in June. People stood in line for two hours to get in. Even the VIP line snaked around the block and moved even slower. Once inside coat check, the bars, and bathrooms moved quickly. I don’t know if this is the fault of the producers or the venue, but be forewarned.

Tom Stephan on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Facebook, and Instagram.

Nina Flowers on MixcloudSoundCloudFacebook, and Instgram.

J Warren on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Facebook, and Instagram. Our two favorite dark mixes of his are from the Grunt and Fukr parties.

Paulo Fragoso on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Facebook, and Instagram.

More details XOXO’s and ticket info on their site.

New Breed at Club Six, produced by Polyglamorous and Pound Puppy

This is the one of the most sex party-ish events of the weekend. Upstairs, the Polyglamorous crew is running their usual dance party while downstairs, the gang from Pound Puppy is getting a bit more carnal. I don’t know much about these events at all but it literally has the words “breed” and “coming” in the title, so there you go.

Wow. New Breed sold out within hours. Probably tickets at the door.

Details on the Facebook page for the event.

Black, Brown, & Kinky at Powerhouse produced by Onxy Northwest

The Northwest chapter of Onyx kicks off the weekend at our favorite dive-bar Powerhouse featuring sexy kinksters, jello shots, leathermen of color with geared up gogos, fetish demos and more.

Photos of past events on their site.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event and stay up to date and follow Onyx NW on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and their site.

Lick It at Powerhouse, with DJ Jason Godfrey

Lick It returns from a long hiatus on Folsom Saturday! Men from around the world will get their weekend groove on at Powerhouse. Come explore your kink with the hottest beats by our DJ for the night Jason Godfrey. Check your clothes, show off your gear, and taste the flavor of Folsom. Benefitting Breast Cancer Emergency Fund.

Jason Godfrey on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Facebook, Instagram, Twitch, and Twitter.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

Dad Bang at F8, produced by Go Bang with DJs Steve Fabus, Sergio Fedasz, Prince Wolf, Kelly Naughton, Jesse Frank, Jumpr, Devin Ray

Dad Bang is a collaboration between between two SF disco powerhouses: venerable Go BANG and new dad on the block DAD (Dudes And Disco). They produce two parties a month with an exhilarating positive energy and joyous music embodying DAD’s “Love Action & Disco Satisfaction” motto + Go BANG!’s “Atomic Dancefloor Disco Action” mantra.

Headliner DJ Steve Fabus is a fucking legend. A DJs whose career spans almost the entire history of the profession and art form itself. He’s played everywhere and done everything. Full profile in Vice: We Met The Godfather of SF’s Gay Disco Underground and even more on Muni Diaries: DJ Steve Fabus and the surprise farewell for disco legend Sylvester.

Kelly Naughton is a San Francisco based DJ focusing on delicious disco, quality Italo, sassy house, & thumping techno. He is part of the BAAAHS (Big-Ass Amazingly Awesome Homosexual Sheep) Burning Man collective and throws a disco-centric party in SF called DAD (Dudes and Disco) on 3rd Saturdays.

Sitting in the heart of SOMA, f8 provides a culture of eclectic music ranging from house to hip hop, techno to dubstep, electro house to drum and bass and much more. “Come one, come all!”

Go Bang on Mixcloud and Facebook. and featured in the Bay Area Reporter: A DJ Saved My Life

Dudes and Disco on Facebook.

Steve Fabus on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, and Facbeook.

Kelly Naughton on Mixcloud and SoundCloud.

Sergio Fedasz on Mixcloud and Facebook.

Devin Jay on SoundCloud, Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram.

Prince Wolf on Mixcloud.

DJ Jumpr on Instagram and SoundCloud. Here’s his set from the pups’ virtual Beta party last year, Omega party 2019, Omega 2018, and their 2018 Packed party.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

Rogue at Eagle with DJ Jackinsky

Rogue is one of our newer monthly fetish events. Their Folsom edition will feature Josh Cheon at the decks, laying down his dark and sexy beats while gogo slaves grind it out for you. Expect hot and twisted demo acts of taboo and perversions play out on stage. Hot men in gear cruising for some action pack the back patio maze for a night of fun that grabs you by the balls and won’t let go.

From Montreal in Canada, Jackinsky and his unique sound mixes current tribal house music with an old school touch, vocal house, and tech house. He’s spun pretty much everywhere you could imagine and has collaborated with Pink, Madonna, Rosabel, Paris Hilton, Offer Nissim, and Cher.

DJ Jackinsky on SoundCloud, Facebook, and Instagram.

No Facebook page event yet.

Code at Edge

Code is The Edge’s monthly event bringing leather back to the Castro with geared-up gogos and a no-frills bar packed with congenial leather-clad gents and resident DJ Sean McMahon, spinning Code’s signature dark and cruisy beats.

DJ Sean McMahon on Mixcloud or Facebook. 

No Facebook event page yet, but details will be on page Edge’s events listings on Facebookthe Code page on their site, or their Instagram.

Sunday, September 26th

Well, good morning, precious! How’re ya feeling? Doesn’t matter. We’re not done yet. Momma didn’t raise no quitter!

A few years ago, we got home from Magnitude around 3am and decided we’d just take a brief nap and then go to Aftershock which starts at 4am. Instead, I woke up at 8:30am next to Ron and thought, “Oh shit. Do I tell him?”

So rinse off the shame or get ready to apply a whole new sheen – but if you’re gonna lie down – set the alarm!

Aftershock at City Nights, produced by Frisco Disco, with DJ Abel

This is the Saturday night/Sunday morning afterhours before the fair. Aftershock is before the fair. Starting on Sunday. Before the fair.

Grab a circuit queen’s phone and go to the alarms. They probably a pre-set for 3am. Aftershock is why.

It’s easy to say why Aftershock is one of our favorite events of the year. Now in it’s 25th year, it’s got that perfect dark, horny, forbidden, unforgiven ambiance. None of this happy R&B diva vocals and “Isn’t life great!” bullshit. I take my problems to the dance floor, damned for my sins, dragged to hell, and stay there (did I mention I was raised Catholic?). With Aftershock, it feels like the guys that were focused on hooking up for the night are back at the hotel rooms or clubs or private parties and the crowd that comes to Aftershock is there to dance. (I mean there’ll be some dance floor pawing, of course).

And DJ Abel is the fucking king. We’ve heard him in several cities and on Atlantis cruises and whether it is prime time circuit, tea dance, or afterhours, he’s just simply a master at what he does. I know it’s stereotypical to talk about a DJ taking you on a journey but he absolutely executes that every single time. Aftershock starts promptly at 4am. Everyone is pretty much wearing just jockstraps, harnesses, and boots.

The line for Aftershock starts well before 3am. Last year, the line was hundreds of guys down the street, into the parking lot, almost to the overpass. Hopefully you’ll find a way to pass the time. Maybe there’s a cute Argentinian guy who has already taken his pill and is standing in line high as fuck and wants to grope and kiss, calling you “guapo” and asking, “When are we getting together, papi?” as your husband watches, laughs, and shakes his head from the sidelines.

Aftershock achieves that strange surreal feeling that while you’re dancing in a crowd of hundreds of hot horny, sweaty men, you aren’t entirely sure the world outside the club exists anymore.

City Nights is one of our favorite venues with a huge front room/lobby so if you get overheated or claustrophobic you can go chill out there, bar will be faster on that side anyway.

The main room is massive. Enter the main floor from the side, the stairs down in the back will have tons of guys strutting on it and not moving at all. And don’t foget the mini lounge up the staircase house-left with the couches and mirrored ceiling. The line for the bar in the main hallway always gets morphed with the coat check line so it’s a big mess for the first few hours of the party.

The venue-run coat/clothes check at City Nights is always a disaster no matter who is producing. Like you can’t even get angry about it anymore. Producers keep trying different tactics to try and alleviate it, to little avail. (I’ve got some coat check tips below in the FAQs.) You will be in line forever.

I said we never wait in lines for things in San Francisco. Aftershock is actually worth waiting in line for.

This event is sold out. The producer tells me there will be 200 tickets night-of at the door. Aftershock sold out within three hours this year (follow the producer to get the alerts for next year).

DJ Abel on MixcloudSoundCloud, and Facebook. I’ve never listened to an Abel mix online that comes close to approximating how he is live and he seems to have a a specific style he reserves just for Aftershock.

Lights and visuals by Guy Smith and Rob Montenegro.

Event details on Facebook. Aftershock benefits the Folsom Street Events organization.

Again, Aftershock is before the fair on Sunday.

One year, we stumbled out of the club into the sunrise walked back to our place holding hands. We turned down Folsom street which had already been blocked off for the fair, and vendors and volunteers already setting up booths and stages for the street fair that would start in just a few hours. As we walked up 10th St towards our building, a guy in a jockstrap from a second-story apartment closing his winsow blinds yelled, “Go to bed, queens!” So we did.

MEGAHOOD2021, produced by Folsom Street Events

As I said above, the main reason for the calling the event something different this year is with all the constraints of COVID, they can’t handle the usual crowd of 200k people. They wanted to honor the street fair’s roots with something less tourist-y. Something more local. This year’s street fair will be more focused on the vendors, artisans, and community organizations that need to promote and sell their wares in light of a year of lost business. Next year they should be back to the usual name and the usual stuff.

Admission is a recommended donation of $10 to $20. The layout of the fair is one block shorter this year. Enter on the side streets for quicker entry and to get into the crowd faster. On normal years its over 200,000 people packed into 13 city blocks for 7 hours. Probably a smaller, more local crowd this year.

As far as philandering, no impeding traffic while you’re doing your business, and no public penetration. Butt-ass naked is fine. Don’t bring pets, they’ll be stressed out by all the people.

The fair will not have liquor vendors to encourage patrons to go to the nearby bars. But bring your own water bottle or canteen to take advantage of the water dispensing stations. QR codes posted will open up a list of nearby restaurants and bars that need your business.

There will be five stages staggered throughout the fair with music and entertainment: (quoted from this GayCities guide)

  • Rope and Bondage Stage presented by Twisted Windows and Kink
  • POC Bay Area Drag/Performance Stage presented by the STUD x OAKLASH
  • BDSM Demo Stage presented by Alpha Academy, Onyx NW, and Society of Janus
  • Live Music Stage presented by Fawkstales
  • The Playground Stage hosted by Alotta Boutté

Sadly no naked Twister this year.


Mask wearing and showing vaccination proof is encouraged and strongly recommended, but can’t be enforced as much since it is a public street. And if that’s a threat to your freedoms, then fuck off and stay home. Security won’t be checking bags but may check for weapons. There will be COVID testing and vaccination available onsite as well. Security may recommend you put your mask back on if you are in a particularly dense area of the crowd. But if you stay on the outer parts of the crowd you should be okay. Here’s their full COVID safety statement on their site.

We didn’t make it to the street fair they had for Dore weekend but asked friends what they thought. Some loved it, some found it wanting. Here’s a collection of reactions:

I thought it was great. Felt very community focused. Access to water or non alcoholic drinks if they’re not going to sell beer would be great.

I liked the fair. It wasn’t too packed, ran into folks we hadn’t seen in over a year. The line to get drinks from the powerhouse was long, but moved quickly. We got two tall beers each, so we didn’t have to get back in line. Weather was perfect and I know I’m about to step on some toes, but the music was too techno for my taste. I agree with Phil I never knew they were giving out free water.

The fair itself still felt like Kinky Thanksgiving, even with the reduced space, no food vendors in the fair, or the air of Post-COVID hesitancy that we’ve all still been feeling this summer.

I had a great time. I liked it less crowded. Still plenty busy. I know lots of guys who skipped it due to Covid concerns and it was still busy and a great time. Far fewer out of towners than usual. I think San Francisco is going to weather this current pandemic wave way better than most cities. I think Folsom will be fun.

I skipped but my friends were pleasantly surprised that there was more happening that they thought. If there had been better information on what to expect I may have come out but instead went to one of the evening events.

There are two main strategies to enjoying the fair:

  1. Walk the length of the main drag. Though any place there’s a demo going on the crowd is going to be dense and slow or down where the pornstars play naked Twister.
  2. Stay in one place, and eventually everyone will pass you.

White people/Wypipo: APPLY/BRING SUNBLOCK. The sun is pretty much high noon and direct with little shade and most of the surrounding buildings are one story. But there’s usually super hot sexy tattooed EMTs with sunblock at the first aid tents but they’ll only have touchless/spray sunblock this year.

People of Color: Please continue to get super-dark and sexy. But don’t burn. And if you got more tattoos, I would not be mad. We thank you.

Article from the Bay Area Reporter‘s article, ‘San Francisco leather, bear fairs among 1st LGBTQ outdoor events to return in-person’:

Details on the Facebook page for the event and just about anything else you’d like to know at

Some of our friends absolutely love the fair and stay all day and have a great time. I’m usually wanting to rest up for:

Real Bad XXXII at 1015 Folsom, produced by Grass Roots Gay Rights Foundation with DJs Russ Rich, Matt Effect, and Paul Cowling

Sept 9th update: “It is with great pleasure that we announce that REAL BAD 32 will take place as scheduled on Sunday, September 26, 2021!” Full post…

This is the ticket to get and you probably won’t be able to get it.

Sunday night on Folsom weekend is our favorite event of the entire year. If I could go to only one dance party a year anywhere in the world, it would be Real Bad. Real Bad is one of the few parties still going strong since the the 1980s crisis and they’ve raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for their beneficiaries.

Thousands of the friendliest, hottest men you’ve ever met (and some women) pack into local dance mega-temple 1015 Folsom for a night of dancing and revelry. The event is produced by local non-profit Grass Roots Gay Rights and all the money from the general admission tickets goes directly to local and national beneficiaries.

Real Bad is special to us because it is the centerpiece for an entire year of gay dance events in the city. From the initial margarita party kickoff where they announce the DJs and then the check presentation party where we all cry as they give the funds to the beneficiaries, it’s an entire narrative across the year for the community that we call friends.

You can’t really separate the event from the venue it is in: 1015 Folsom (the address and venue name are the same). A nondescript front door gives way to a warmly lit lobby with a stairs and a ramp on either side spilling into to the main dance floor with three-story ceilings and a wrap around balcony – all with Brazilian hardwood dance floors. The rear balcony includes the lust-laden Red Room and then on the opposite (street-side) the upstairs lounge with seating and refreshments that comprise the VIP area for the first half of the evening (it opens up to everyone later on, so be sure to get up there). The first year we went to Real Bad, we spent most of our time on the ground floor and in the balcony and then we finally went downstairs to discover The Underground – the glowing low-ceilinged basement of the venue – where it’s a whole ‘nother party with a second DJ playing more downtempo steady-state house sound, much cooler down there, too. Our friend Joey spent most of his first Real Bad in just the lobby – thinking the event was just the front lobby (I’ll have what she’s having). So be sure to explore.

Update: 1015 has been completely remodeled so some of the above may be moot, but everyone who has gone to an event there so far has said it’s better than ever.

This year there will be two DJs on the main floor taking you from evening into the night and to dawn with a second DJ in the Undeground – the basement – spinning a more relaxed sound. After the past year the community has had, the producers this year decided to bring it back home with one of our local favorites, DJ Russ Rich,

Russ Rich is one of our favorite DJs. He’s a fucking master at whatever he does and has been a part of some of our most memorable nights on the dance floor. You will be singing and dancing. The last few parties he’s spun he always weaves in a positively operatic mix of Amber’s “Sexual” and I swear each time it gets a little more pathos and depth. Love it. And if he brings in “Runnin’ (Lost It All)” or the mix of “Never Enough” everybody hates but we love expect to see us scream-singing it at each other. Be prepared to stay for the entire event.

Matt Effect will be opening for Russ on the main floor. Matt’s held residencies at some of Sydney’s biggest gay clubs and is becoming one of the most recognizable and sought after DJs after his 2010 and 2012 tours through the United States.

Paul Cowling will be bringing deep dark cosmic beats to the basement of the club – called The Undeground. The Undeground has warmer lighting, comfy booths, and a more relaxed vibe. Originally from London, but now based in LA, Paul brings sounds from the outer edges of electronic music, where house, techno and progressive coalesce.

The music on the main floor usually starts laidback and kinda disco-y as everyone makes their way from the fair to the venue then gradually gets a bit heavier and leans more into prime time circuit for much of the night and then a little more abstract and dreamy as the night carries on. But always a nice weight to it. Never “pots & pans.”

We spend most of our evening on the outer third of the crowd. Dancing in the dense crowd under the disco ball in the center of the main floor can be exhilarating or exhausting depending on how you’re feeling at that moment. Take a break in the upstairs lounge, snuggle up with a guy in the basement, catch a breath outside in the cordoned-off smoking area, or have a stunning tattooed Iraqi muscle stud help you unwrap a Starburst in the lobby. That’s not even a euphemism, it was a literally a Starburst.

Real Bad is also our yearly check-in with everyone and where they are in their lives. People have seen Ron and I grom from two wide-eyed young bucks from Chicago to two inked pierced bearded married muscle dads and part of the usual usuals orbiting the community and it’s related events. I’ll see friends that we were very close with for a few years, had wonderful memorable times with them, and now I’m just somebody that they used to know. You’ll see now-separated couples with their new beaus. Or couples with their new thirds knowing that by next year they’ll probably be broken apart. (Sorry, think positive!)

I can’t say enough about Real Bad. It’s a singular experience distilling everything amazing about the city of San Francisco into one event. I know that sounds trite. Every year I walk down that ramp from the lobby to the main floor and think, “Goddamn this is a whole other level of party.”

Around midnight, look for Ron and I among the platoon of men and women in aprons (which Ron designed!) and hats (and little else) barreling through the thick crowd handing out popsicles to the over-heated crowd. Sometimes it’s hard to convince a queen to eat a calorie (bruh it is day 3, hour five, have a goddamn treat). And be sure you’re in the main room for when they drop the leather flag. The whole night has several peak moments.

Real Bad tickets are a complete bitch to get. Most tickets are only available through a host system of a couple hundred hosts. Each host is given a handful of ticket codes to share with friends and their network . That approach helps preserve the vibe that nearly the entire crowd is there because of someone they know in the organization’s “Circle of Friends.” With capacity rules, there are fewer tickets than ever this year.

There was a Facebook group for people to say they were looking for tickets but it descended into bitchery and thirst traps. Holes pics won’t get you Real Bad tix. Crying and complaining that the host/ticket process isn’t fair on Facebook just makes you look like an entitled prick and honestly that’s the exact opposite type of person we want at the party. So show some fucking respect for the history and integrity of the event.

There will be a tickets available online on September 12th at noon on Eventbrite.

As the weekend approaches make sure eveyrone around you knows they’re looking for a Real Bad ticket. As the fair ends and everyone decides if they’re really going to go the event, tickets become available. We had one friend leave the fair, take a nap, got texts about an available ticket, and was on the dance floor in an hour.

Short documentary about Real Bad, Activism with a Beat.

Article about Real Bad in The Daily Californian.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event andon their website

Russ Rich on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Matt Effect on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Paul Cowling on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Facebook, and Instagram.

Past Real Bad sets for your listening enjoyment:

And if you can’t get into Real Bad and still want to shake some ass:

Rated X at City Nights, presented by Ram, produced by Ky Martinez and Daddy Ersin with DJs Mohammad, Alexander, and Alex Ramos

Rated X is back! The Dore premiere was a rowdy rutting good time and for Folsom Sunday, they’re coming to City Nights (where you were for Aftershock just this morning). And even better, they’re partnering with Ram! Daddy Ersin’s horny undeground NYC gear party Ram finally makes its way to San Francisco. If you want aggressive rutting leathermen decked out in gear, this is the party for you. Dark, subterranean music and carnivorous cruising.

Now DJ Mohammad’s music… that I can fuck to. Mohammad’s past life as a gogo god gives him an intimate intuition of what’s going to make your hips move. He’s blends a prime time cirucit sound with an aggressive, darker edge that keeps the club galloping.

DJ Mohammad on SoundCloud, Instagram, and Facebook and featured in Chicago Pride.  We are always overplaying his promo mix from Ram party NYC, Market Days a couple years ago, and his 5 year anniversary of House Party mix. 

DJ Alex Ramos on Beatport, SoundCloud, Instagram, and Facebook.

DJ Alexander on SoundCloud, Instagram, and Facebook.

Full details on the Facebok page for the event and tickets on the site.

Party on the Patio at Eagle

Join everybody at the Eagle during and after the fair where the party goes all day and deep into the night.

Thousands of hot, sweaty, half naked bodies pack the place throughout the day and night where things get going that have made this party world (in)famous!!

No Facebok page yet for the event.

Folsom Sunday at Oasis* with DJs Omar and Pumpkin Spice

A few steps from the fair, Oasis is giving you a 12 hour marathon of music and festivities.

Oasis is a fantastic gay-owned venue founded by drag queens with a big front bar, rooftop area, and a legit stage and cabaret theatre space that doubles as a dance floor. You can barely tell it used to be an 8,000 sq ft gay bathhouse in a past life (that step down into the main concrete floor is the old pool space). They had a fantastic fundraiser during the worst of the pandemic and put that money back into the club including a fantastic new rooftop remodel for some old fashioned open-air cruising.

*People are reporting that Oasis is being super-strict with masking but I’m hearing from my sources they are going to be relaxing things.

DJ Pumpkin Spice on SoundCloud, Instagram, and Facebook.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event.

Hot Tea at Audio, produced by Cecil Russel and Evan J. Sun with DJ Eddie Martinez

Cecil and the gang at Gloss Presents always make a huge splash with their Hot Tea tea dance for Pride at Audio nightclub. They’re back for Folsom with a special leather edition starting just as the street fair ends. And at Audio nightclub, it’s just a quick stumble to get there.

DJ Eddie Martinez on Mixcloud, SoundCloud, Beatport, Facebook, and Twitter.

Full details on the Facebook page for the event and on their website.

Monday, September 27th

Nocturnal Extreme Afterhours at Halcyon, produced by Ky Martinez with DJ Paulo

This is the Sunday night/Monday morning afterhours, after the closing partiesMonday morning.

We’ve known Ky Martinez and his husband Juan for many years (they sat at the circuit queen table at our wedding reception) and it’s been wonderful watching them go from producing their monthly House Party event at Powerhouse (every second-Saturday) to building their reputation with larger more sophisticated events like Imagina and Heaven. Their events always draw a sexy crowd that is a diverse, broad slice of the city’s denizens (leather, muscle, queens, bears, queers, jocks, fairies, and all the rest).

I can’t think of a better way to close out the night, the morning, and the weekend, than with Ky Martinez’s Nocturnal party under the direction of the original “tribal bitch” DJ Paulo for the entire morning. And at this time of the morning you need a good hard pounding like only Paulo can deliver.

We usually come home from Real Bad, rinse off, re-gear, and walk over to Halcyon nightclub. You think well shit it’s early and it’s day four so this’ll be cute, I guess. You walk in and it’s like the weekend never even happened. Guys streaming in from all the other events all morning. DJ Paulo playing this type of groove that makes you want to move. Again, we kinda like an afterhours because the guys that are there are there to dance.

VIP tickets are worth it for Halcyon because there’s a nice lounge that sits behind the DJ and on the sides of the club opposite the bar so you’ll be able to escape the crowd but still enjoy the music.

Halcyon (formerly the old Beatbox space) is one of only three clubs in the world to feature the Dolby Atmos immersive sound system. Halcyon regularly ranks among the top clubs in the country and is noted for its all-women management and being a welcome home for LGBT events and producers. The exposed brick and steel keeps the warehouse vibe alive and with one of the city’s few 24-hour liquor licenses, DJs have been known to spin from dusk to dawn and into the affternoon.

DJ Paulo on MixcloudSoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook and listen to past mixes from Nocturnal including his 2017 preview, live set from 2017, and live set from 2019.

Full details on the Facebook page for the evnet and you can buy tickets from their site.

And then on Monday afternoon everybody hits the bars and switches to alcohol and calls it “recovery.”

Folsom Recovery at Lookout

This event is unconfirmed. It happened for Pride and Dore, so probably still happening.

No one wants to admit a good thing has to end, so a couple of the bars will be packed on Monday. Lookout and Eagle seem like the most popular ones. Lookout especially. One of our top local DJs will beon hand at Lookout to keep the party going as you stave off thinking about your terrible life choices this weekend.

Most of the producers and DJs of the weekend will be there.

No official event page yet but usually the Recovery events start at 1pm and go until 9pm.

So if you’re still in town, slather on the eye cream, and head over to Lookout. Their kitchen can be slow, but their snacks and food are good.

Speaking of which – there’s also all the bars

And along with all these hideous skirt conventions at specific clubs and venues, every bar will be a noisy hall with a nightly brawl packed to the gills with hot fuckers. Ain’t no shame in doing it the old fashioned way and gearing up and going to the bars.

Recommended bars in the Castro: 440 and Edge have a fair amount of the leather/bear contingent. The Mix and Midnight Sun are more mainstream-y feeling. Hi-Tops is more jock/clean-cut. Beaux I always feel super old. Badlands closed thankfully. Also check out Moby Dick’s.

Recommended bars in SOMA: Powerhouse and The Eagle of course. Lots of guys we know also enjoy El Rio, Lone Star Saloon, and Oasis. After 54 years, The Stud closed.

Or let the men come to you.

Or just stay home and wait for the hot horny eager men to spill out of the clubs and bars and start popping up on Scruff or Grindr or Recon ready for intense cuddling (it’s like a special hug two men do when they like each other very much).

You look amazing. Get photos.

You probably look foyne as fuck this weekend. You should preserve the moment. Our friend, photographer Trevor Ott will be again doing his impromptu photo shoots with the street fair as the backdrop. We did a shoot with him at Dore a few years ago (above) and had a great time and with our boy Sunny at IML 3 years ago (below). Contact him on Facebook if you’re interested and peruse his work on Instagram.

Folsom on a Budget

Travel, tickets, transportation, refreshments, enhancements… this kind of weekend ain’t cheap (and that’s not even counting the leather gear). But, if you’re trying to keep spending to a minimum:

Echo the old-school Castro clone look of our forefathers with tight jeans, a t-shirt, and boots. GQ recently had a history with, “How the ’70s “Clone” Look Paved the Way for the Queer Clothing of Today”

If you feel you have to have some sort of leather on ya, grab an armband from Mr. S or one of the other stores. The snap ones are cheaper but the buckles are easier to fasten but the neoprene ones won’t leave as much of a mark.

The Mr. S Party is free since it’s in the store. You can mill about and cruise guys and try stuff on.

Saturday afternoon’s Big Muscle party is the most affordable of the larger dance parties with $20 advance tickets – plus it benefits charity. You can take Muni to Van Ness, walk a few blocks and you’re there. For all the other dance parties above, check out early tier pricing now. Most of the producers we know are sensitive to pricing – especially for younger patrons – and keep their first tier of tickets at a non-insane price. The NSA underwear parties at OMG are also very affordable and free with a student ID.

Hang out at the bars in Castro and SOMA (historically known as “the Valley of the Dolls” and “the Valley of the Kings,” respectively). As I said above, they’ll be packed with lots of other guys that are more into the cocktails and cruising dynamic. Most bars will have a modest cover charge on Folsom weekend.

Most of the bars are walkable via transit. If it’s super late you don’t want to be walking around too much. Like I said before, keep your phone in your pocket, headphones off, and your wits about you. It’s San Francisco, but it’s still a big city with crazy people.

If you really have barely any money at all, you must use it to go to the fair. If ten bucks is all you have, give it to the fair and charity that is the centerpiece for the weekend. Especially after this past year.

Volunteer for events. Another way to keep costs down is to volunteer for events. For the first few years we were here, Ron and I were greeters and ticket-takers at lots of parties and that was fun because you literally meet everyone on their way in and you get to put wristbands on hot guys and once your shift is over you can go dance with them.

Other Events in 2021

Aside from all the Folsom events here’s several more San Francisco parties coming up:

October 3 is Castro Street Fair – founded by Harvey Milk in 1974 – is always the weekend after Folsom. Vendors, artisands, craftsmen, community groups, DJs, dancing, and general shirtless times. Details…

Every Second-Saturday House Party: Ky and his husband Juan produce the monthly House Party at Powerhouse I mentioned above where every second-Saturday a couple hundred guys come out to try and stuff a deep house/circuit party into the back of a trashy gay dive bar (we always succeed). Follow Ky Martinez Productions to stay in touch.

Also every Second-Saturday is local leather event: SOMA Second Saturdays a fun afternoon with queer art, kinky crafts, local artians, fun vendors, clubs and orgs of the South of Market neighborhood. Details and site.

Huge Labor Day lineup has been announced with Isis Murtech, Dani Brasil, Jerac, Danny Verde, Tony Moran, Alex Ramos and more. Follow Ky Martinez Productions to stay in touch.

Omega party in November, the final part of the Fog City Pack’s trilogy of licentious parties, is usually before Thanksgiving. Stay in touch with their Facebook book pageInstagram account, or website.

Rumors of December dance parties are roiling.

Okay let’s do a run down of other important stuff:

More questions you may have and stuff you should know:

“Do people really wear just jockstraps at these parties? I don’t want to be the only one dressed like a whore.”

Dressing like a sex object is pretty much par for the weekend and just-jock seems to be a particularly San Francisco thing. Even at SF parties outside the high holy days, there’s always a big leather and bear presence at every party so you’ll always see harnesses. Some guys will wear the classic full leather uniform out to the bars but that’s way too much clothing for a steamy dance floor. Most guys will wear a shirt and shorts over their jock and harness. You’ll want to have pockets to keep your ID, ATM card, phone, cash, mints/gum, and such handy. Or if you have no pockets, wear long socks and stuff them in there. Some guys wear fanny packs (that’s “bum bags” for you Brits).

Peruse the photo galleries of the events for a sampling of the various options available. We’ve done couples’ matchy-matchy outfits before and planned things for the entire weekend in the past. Anymore, I’d rather wear something comfortable I can move in. Or just keep your shorts on and knot your shirt in your belt loop. Otherwise you’ll lose your shirt on the floor and have to walk back to the hotel like a hooker.

Oh and trim your nails. You just never know your fingers might end up. And maybe a pedicure in case you meet a guy into feet?

“Are all these events just a bunch of hairy white guys looking for other hairy white guys?”

These events can have a tendency to be a bunch of big hairy white guys only interested in hanging out with other big hairy white guys. Honestly, unless they have field markings (tattoos) I can’t tell all these white motherfuckers apart. When we all had masks on in SF, I had no idea who anyone was for a whole year.

The race politics of the gay dance floor can be pretty shitty (no, it’s not just a preference). And the body fascism. And that sucks for our brown, black, and/or smooth, skinny, and/or non-huge/short brethren. The weekend’s events will have pretty broad range in body type and ethnic/race mix. Chances are you’re “totally my type” for someone in the crowd. One shortcut is to find the mixed couples (easier to pre-qualify). That’s also in case there’s an emergency, we have to shepherd all the men of color out of the club quickly.

Inked brown and black muscle is our nation’s most precious natural resource.

Stop being a racist piece of shit.

Take all that race preference shit off your profile. It’s disgusting and shit manners. Our gay black and brown brothers move in a world that reminds them every day that they are “other.” They don’t need that when they are in a gay space. And if you are “into” a certain race, ethniticy, complexion, or color of guys, don’t say it out loud, just go talk to the guy.

White gays stop being terrible! Decolonize the dance floor!

And for fuck’s sake don’t ask a guy, “What are you?” or “Where are you from, no where are you really from?” or “You’re really sexy for a [ethnicity].”

Another short cut is:

Always party with the bears and the Brazilians

Numerous studies in the field and around the world have confirmed that the bears and Brazilians are usually having the most fun at any dance party. And if you find Brazilian bears, it’s going to be an amazing night.

Pro-tip: If you are looking for the bears at any club, find the big industrial fans. The big boys overheat easily so they’re usually near the fans, or they have actual fans, or are near the A/C vents. There’s literally a ‘bear corner’ at 1015 Folsom because that’s where the big fans always are.

And I dunno maybe talk to guys that aren’t your type. Think of your total type in your head and go talk to guys that are the exact opposite. It’s okay to talk to guys you’re not going to fuck. We call that being friendly.

If everyone around you looks just like you, you’re doing it wrong.

Worst Folsom pickup line ever remains: “Hey, you’ve got bitch tits, too.” Let’s have some manners, gents.

And when talking to couples, maybe talk to both of them.

Don’t mix G and alcohol, you stupid fuck

Oxygen, drips, and stretchers are not rave accessories. Don’t mix depressants and definitely never mix alcohol with GHB or it’s pre-cursors GBL and 1,4-Butanediol (“BDO”). If you mix alcohol and G, you’re basically telling your friends you’re a selfish piece of shit and you think it’s cute that others have to take care of you. We once saw a guy ‘falling out’ (the more glam way to say overdosing) in a play room being attended to by EMTs. Nothing kills the vibe like a guy who’s stopped breathing. They were trying to keep him awake.

Know your mLs and timing. It’s why Tim Cook invented Apple Watch.

Poppers and Viagra are both vasodialators and together can cause blood pressure to drop dangerously low. Go slow. Also coke can kill your E high. And your dick for most people. And make your bowels move.

I won’t even talk about crystal meth. Tina is insidiously efficient at destroying lives. It has been tearing down the LGBT community and many small towns like the one I grew up in and we’ve seen friends destroy their lives, marriages, and friendships to sustain their addiction. Handle your shit, ladies (and ask for and get help). If you see tina at the private party or the trick’s hotel room, walk out the door.

So definitely:

Always thank the EMTs when you see them

I usually say, “Thanks for working tonight.”

They are there to make sure everyone has a safe, memorable time and stays in the guard rails. If you see someone getting stumbly, ask if they’re okay. If you hug someone and they seem cold or have stopped sweating, ask if they need some water or sugary soda. If you know any of the producers of these parties you know that the (mostly straight) venue owners are very harsh when The Gays are a hot mess (though we never have fistfights, just ambulance calls). We risk losing access to these spaces for gay events.

If you are sober and out at these events, be sure you know local AA/etc. meetings so if you need support to stay on track, you’ve got it.

Be generous. Have a great time. Take care of yourself. Take care of others.

And thank security

There’s a whole phalanx of security guards working at all the clubs all weekend and many of them are queer people that specifically want to work the events of Folsom weekend.

Like our gal Donna, if you see her outside running security for an event, it’s going to go smooth as silk.

These men and women have an incredible sense of ownership and protection of us as we head out for the evening. One memorable moment of Dore was a lesbian security guard outside the club (not Donna above) who was inspecting bags and doing pat-downs, saying to the guy in front of me and to all of us, “Okay now you guys might have some paraphernalia. I don’t want to see it. Management doesn’t want to see it. If you’re doing stuff just don’t do it on the dance floor. Ok?” And then as she patted me down, “Gotta take care of my community. I love my girls – and my boys. Have a good night!”

It’s easy to take for granted all the people putting aside their own chance at a fun weekend so they can take care of their people.

Most venues have security that will frisk people on the way in. Don’t be an idiot and you’ll get through with your accourtrements. That’s why God invented the taint.

Get off your goddamn phone

A friend at Dore last year spent half the night at one club checking his phone for updates from this guy he wanted to hookup with. He had a street address, but no apartment number. We said there’s no fucking way you’re leaving the club to go stand on the street at this time of night for some trick whose probably already asleep. He’s literally surrounded by hundreds of beautiful horny down-to-fuck men and he’s staring at his fucking phone. It turned out okay: He fucked a guy in a bathroom stall. And they say romance is dead.

If you’re doing extended texting, step to the side of the dance floor and continue. And turn your screen brightness down. It’s obnoxious.

No really, get off your fucking phone

Just wanted to say it a second time.

Faster flirting with keyboard macros

But if you’re on your phone and tired of guys asking what your are into or what parties you are going to and typing it over and over again. Setup a macro!

iPhone: Settings > General > Keyboard > Text Replacement. Tap + type the phrase you want to add then enter the macro. Like whenever you type /folsom, the phone will pop in your full agenda.


Android: Anybody know if this is standard? Lemme know.

Get a couple portable USB chargers to have fully charged up in your European Carryall or backpack or purse.

Be where you are

People talk about the old days and they say they want to go back to the happy days. We can’t go back. We can stand still or go forward.

I’m prone to getting annoyed if the music isn’t perfect or people are bumping into me and just burning the entire evening down and going home and Xanax-ing myself to sleep. Ron’ll adominsh me, “Stop obsessing! Deal with it!” If you and your partner bicker or have an argument, stop. Talk about it next week. Stop waiting for that guy that said he’d be at the place at that time that wanted to meet up or breed you or get your load or get a selfie. Stop chasing that porn star (he’s probably booked all weekend making videos for his OnlyFans page and wants you to “collab” for free).

I always say I hope for a good time with good music and good friends and my amazing husband in my arms – and everything else is a bonus.

Remember Daddy Aaron’s only Folsom rule: If you’re local, don’t make this the weekend you make it happen with that local guy you’ve been over-staring at the gym. Focus on the fresh, transient meat.

“I looked for you all night!” NO. Stop. Be where you are. Here and now. Don’t make this a make or break weekend for anything or anyone. It is what it is. Enjoy it.

Save this GIF to your phone to drop in group threads when someone’s being a needy/dramatic twat:

And maybe don’t fuck your boyfriend blocking the bathroom entrance.

We don’t really wear cologne here

When we were in Madrid it was kinda nice that everyone smelled so good and some guys put on a little cologne before going to club. Less so when a few of them smoke cigarettes in the club. In Saugatuck everyone was getting sweat but no one was getting odoriferous.

But in SF we’re a little more… earthy. This is the town that birthed Manson, Jonestown, and the hippies.

Some guys have a nice fresh sweat on clean skin aroma. Others seriously need to rinse off their taints. I usually put some beard oil on for the night as an extra bonus to whomever gets up in my business. If you like a good man musk you’re in for a treat in this town.

But do whatever you want. If your cologne is too strong someone will probably tell you.

“What’s with the colors and armbands?”

When finding gay sex and companionship was more difficult and dangerous, gay men developed the ‘hanky code’ where you’d wear a specific color of handkerchief to signal what you were into and what you were looking for. Left back pocket meant, top. Right side, bottom. Both sides, vers. This has been carried forth in the colors of harnesses and armbands you see out and about. But sometimes yellow is a signal and other times you just want to wear yellow. I had on a snazzy yellow Cellblock13 jock at a party once and a guy said, “Hey, I can piss on you if you want!” and I declined, “It’s more of a sartorial choice.” It’s a fun retro part of the culture we’ve carried through to today. Here’s a full rundown of the hanky code colors in probably one of the oldest web pages you’ll ever read these days. Also:

Getting “mistaken” for a bottom isn’t really an insult

And if you think it is, you’re probably a misogynist piece of shit. Jokes about, “Omg bottoms are needy and petty just like women, isn’t that hilarious?” are tired as fuck. If nothing else a man getting fucked by another man is the most masculine thing in the world. It’s like a totes-masc Voltron. Let’s dispense with the 1950s gender roles.

Everyone secretly hates your fan clacking

In moderation and on the beat, clacking fans can be positively electrifying. But every goddamn song? Don’t clack them all night with that sharp sound that feels like an icepick behind your right eye.

And let’s not with the fucking parasols

Stop bringing parasols to parties. Several producers have mentioned that it fucks up the event photos with your big goddamn umbrella in the way, blocks the view of people around you, and it’s not that fucking clever. Glare at anyone who brings one and say, “You should really check that.” Or break it over your knee and throw it away. You are not the star of this wedding.

Buy multiple drinks at a time (and tip)

Bars will be busy and/or under-staffed. If you are buying Gatorade for three friends, grab six. If you are buying cocktails, buy double, chug one and then sip the other. Hell, grab 8 Gatorades and hand a couple to guys you don’t know as you make your way back to your friends. And pay cash if you can. Credit cards slow everyone down. Most venues have an ATM/teller but go into the venue with cash. We usually try to have $100 on us for the night. Break your twenties so you can tip. Non-Americans, the usual tip for a bartender is $1-2 per drink served.

Many of these events have patrons that turn to non-alcohol sources for their enhancements. It’s lost revenue and a problem every producer will mention. Every gay event producer will tell you that. So buy soda, Red Bull, Gatorades, and waters!

Don’t grab someone’s piercings without asking

You don’t know how they like them handled – if at all. And if they’re new, it’ll hurt.

Assume clothes check will be a disaster everywhere

Coat/clothes check will probably move at a glacial pace. We usually bring one of our gym bags and put everything in there (and put keys, phones, and wallets in obvious pockets so we can find them quickly for the keys-phone-wallet-ready?! check as we leave the club). That way if our stuff gets misplaced or mis-tagged we can say, “Look for the bright red Timbuktu backpack. I can see it right there!”

Another option is to dress so enjoy the first part of the party and then once the coat check line dies down, go check your shorts and shirt so you can really get down. But if you’re desperate to get to your skivvies you can dance and flirt in the line. One friend wears a backpack the first half of the night and checks that once the lines clear. Another wears super lightweight shorts and a tank top and ties them around his ankle for the night. That’s a solution.

Get tested the week after (and two weeks before)

A circuit party is a Petri dish with a bass line. A lot of people have a lot of sex with a lot of people during Folsom weekend. Tthere’s a possibility you might get a bug – even if you’re the most careful condom user ever-ever.

Go to your primary care physician or local clinic to get tested for the full palette of STIs. Keep in mind you can have gonorrhea, syphillis, or chlamydia and not show any obvious symptoms for a while. And even if you’re a “total top” that doesn’t really mean anything since infections can spread between oral, anal, and genital regions regardless of who is fucking who. Notify the other people you had sex with if you have their contact info. It’s common courtesy and comes with the territory in this high-volume-hookup sex-as-a-hobby culture.

Get the HPV vaccine if you can. They’ve raised the age window.

If you’re really an ethical slut, get tested two weeks before the weekend just in case you’ve got some critters. That way if you end up having something, you’ve had enough time to complete a full course of antibiotics (usually 7-10 days). Nobody wants to spend Folsom in sex jail (sex jail sounds super hot, but no, it is not). And of course, get tested for HIV. And if you test positive for HIV, go into treatment immediately. It is much easier these days to get down to undetectable levels and manage your health properly.

And if you haven’t gotten the COVID-19 vaccine (and you can), close this window and don’t talk to me until you have.

Undetectable = Untransmittable

You should already know that undetectable is untransmittable, This means that an HIV+ person on meds whose viral load is undetectable carries virtually zero risk of transmission through sex.

Getting “ready”

A lot of guys will also be “cleaning out” for the weekend in the event that they bottom. Hell, lots of tops clean out just in case they meet a guy who’s sponge-worthy. Here’s a guide (not keen on the stomping). Pack the shower shot or buy one at one of the sex stores. We all know the bulb sucks. Don’t forget the wrench (which TSA may take if it is in your carry on, I think you can get a plastic wrench that won’t show up as much in x-rays). Some guys even forego eating real food and use Imodium to halt everything for the day or weekend. I’m not saying any of this is healthy. Video: Jonathan Van Ness explaining this to Tiffany Haddish is comedy gold.

And thus it was written:

“Blessed are the bottoms, may their waters always run clear.” (Matthew 6:9)

If you are HIV-, get on PrEP

If you are HIV negative, consider getting on PrEP. It doesn’t protect against other STIs but the risk of HIV transmission is statistically that of condoms. We have the technology to stop HIV in its tracks in this generation and we’re stupid if we don’t take advantage of it. Remember, you have to take PrEP daily for seven days to reach maximum efficacy. And if you are not on PrEP and have unprotected sex and think you might be at risk for HIV, go to the PeP protocol which is for after a possible exposure.

There’s also the new PrEP 2-1-1 protocol for an intermittent trampage. You take two Truvada 2-24 hours before sex, one pill 24 hours after the initial dose, and one final pill 24 hours later. Full details.

When agreeing to meet or hookup, be clear about condom use (or not) so no one feels pressured to make choices not aligned with their values.

And if you take Metamucil or Pure or other fiber supplements to be bottom-ready, do not take them at the same time as your PrEP or other meds. Fiber supplements might soak up the meds in your digestive system and prevent them from working.

Carry a photo of your vaccine card or screencap or app your state or country is using.

I haven’t heard any producer or venue say they are going to require you have your actual vaccine card so make a photo or screencap. And favorite it so you’re not scrolling through hole pics while the bouncer sighs.

“I’m too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too young, too old to go…”

Now that I’m 46, my sister says I’m officially 50. The only difference these days is we take ibuprofen before we head out for the night. You will see guys who are so roided up they are practically parodies of masculinity (and probably have a dialysis machine hidden in their jock). Other guys have their ass sticking out so far, you’d think you’re at a pelvic tilt convention. You’ll see beanpole guys who are skin and bones and guys going nuts over them, too. All shapes, all sizes, and ages ready to have a great time.

Both straight mainstream culture and the queer/gay minority sub-culture is co-opted by marketers to tell us we never have enough, do enough, or are enough, so not hating the way you look all the time is kind of a triumph. Fuck the male gaze (that we literally created ourselves). There aren’t “leagues.” No guy is too hot to go up and talk to. And if he thinks he is, he’s probably a terrible fuck. Or a bad kisser. And a hot guy who can’t kiss is a crime against God.

Introverts, here’s a Facebook thread I started about meeting guys on the dance floor. (My solution has always been: Marry an extrovert. Or try the bend and snap.)

You have the right to have a fucking great time no matter how you look or how you feel about how you look.

Don’t wait until you “lose the weight” or “do a cycle” or whatever other barrier to entry you’re setting for yourself.

“Can I go to these events if I’m a straight man or a woman?”

Yes, you can. Keep in mind though: Most of the events I’ve detailed in this guide are intended for and produced primarily by gay men seeking to meet and dance and do whatever with other gay men. You might not be the target audience here. It’s our space – it’s great you feel safe here, too – but we built this. There’s several lesbian and straight women that are a big part of the community out here and join us for many of the parties as patrons and producers and talent. And they know the events that are more play-oriented aren’t really for them and sure they could go into a back room and look around, but turning someone’s sexuality into a tourist attraction is tacky and gross. You will probably see public sex between men at the fair or on the dance floor or in a bathroom or in a lounge or in an alley way. Enjoy watching or just turn 180 degrees and voila! it doesn’t even exist anymore.

And put your hair up. Nobody wants your hair sticking to their sweaty chest or back.

“All these goddamn events are sold out!”

You waited too long. And some of these events sold out last year and producers rolled the tickets over to 2021. In this town, we buy our tickets early (and much cheaper first-tier pricing).

If you are looking for tickets for a particular event, post as such on the Facebook page for the event. Mark yourself as Going for the event so you’ll get alerts if someone posts that they have a ticket available. As the weekend develop, people decide which parties they are or aren’t going to and will unload their tickets.

“What if I have tickets I don’t need?”

The opposite of the above, post on the event page to see if others are interested in buying your tickets.

Be wary of third-party ticket sales from questionable sources

Scammers that will post on the event pages that they have last minute tickets and then take your money and tell you to walk with Christ. Look for friends you have in common and vet sources if you need to.

“OMG, Folsom is not just about the parties!”

You’re right. There’s an entire leather community anchoring this whole thing. But this is a party guide.

Always do a ticket inventory the week before

The week beforehand, make sure you have all your tickets. If they are in your email, use the pin/star feature to make sure they bubble up to the top or take screencaps of all your QR codes. Nothing like the, “Oh my god I bought tickets for the Folsom party but not the Dore one, Ron’s going to kill me…” panic attack. Some of these parties and producers do events for both weekends with the same names, don’t get them mixed up!

No life decisions the week after a party

Until there is at least a glimmer of hope in those dead cow eyes, don’t get together or break up or get married or close things or open things or move out or move in or quit a job or start a job. I’m usually a dessicated husk until at least Thursday night after a weekend rage. On Tuesday, it’s “That wasn’t so bad. I feel fine.” Around Wednesday, it’s “Ugh nightmares last night. We really have to stop doing this.” Thursday is, “What am I doing with my life? Am I a good husband? Am I a terrible son?” Then Friday is, “I feel great when’s the next one?!”

After one year’s revels, my CEO alerted staff the following week announcing, “Don’t ask Andy anything. He hasn’t slept for five days.”

I’m sure I’ve forgotten some events, let me know

No slight to producers or DJs if I’ve missed one (and I didn’t even do shoutouts to all the talented lighting, sound, video, laser, and environment designers and special performers). Message ma via Instagram or Facebook Messenger.

Where to visit while you’re in town

We’ve lived in San Francisco for 13 years and here’s our recommended points of interest and touristy activities if you’re here for several days:

Former federal prison Alcatraz Island has a haunting audio tour.

Muir Woods is a forest of giant redwood trees (think ewoks/Endor).

The Castro Theatre will hopefully be open again featuring new releases and classic films with a live organist before each showing.

The best photos of the bridge are Golden Gate View Point, plus nearby abandoned gunnery stations from WWII.

The California Academy of Sciences has huge aquaria and a four-story tropical rainforest installation and a planetarium where she kept talking about “Sharon” and I realized oh she means Pluto’s moon Charon and I couldn’t stop giggling. Classic Sharon! The Conservatory of Flowers just across the way is also worth a trip.

Fisherman’s Wharf is trashy and you didn’t come all this way to eat Ruby Tuesdays. It does have the only In-N-Out in town, though I’d tell you to go to local favorite Super Duper Burger (see below). The Krispy Kreme there has closed.

There’s wine country – Napa and Sonoma. We find the whole wine thing boring. But go for it if you’re nuts for wine.

Where are all the taxis?

Same thing we said when we moved here from Chicago. San Francisco has only 1/3 the cabs per capita of New York City and Chicago. And you really notice. The taxi medallion system is a shitshow here and Lyft and Uber have carved out a following. Easier to find cabs at your hotel but less on the way back,.

Where to eat while you’re in town

We’re both from the Midwest so we’re not really foodies, we just like to eat. Our go-to restaurants:

Skip the Whataburger vs In-n-Out debate and go to Super Duper Burger. They’re our usual post-party lunch of burger, fries, and milkshake. Several locations in the city.

Taco Boys next to the Castro Super Duper is our usual taco place. Tacorgasmico is across the street as well. Bonita’s nearby always has dry-ass chicken and beef.

Fable serves modern American cuisine with a huge back patio. Reservations through OpenTable.

Catch is great for brunch or dinner with a front patio with lighting that takes strangely high-quality selfies. Reservations through OpenTable.

The Cove diner across from Castro Theatre has been a Castro institution for over 40 years.

Sam’s Diner across from the Whitcomb Hotel on Market near 9th has non-complicated breakfast and you can add tater tots.

Mona Lisa in Little Italy/North Beach has great Italian food and homemade pasta.

You probably have some for-real foodie friends in San Francisco if you’re really looking for a high-quality fine-dining type thing. Ask them for their recommendations (they’ll probably roll their eyes at mine).

And don’t forget the full raft of delivery restaurants on Grubhub and other apps in case you need a cube of cheese. Our usuallly places are iThai, Tara Indian Cuisine, Bamboo (Chinese), and Tanglad (Vietnamese run by Filipinos, with a location in Castro).

And if you need poppers and lube, there’s several sex stores and smoke shops in the Castro (including Mr. S brand mentinoed above). We usually go to Koheba Gifts on Market (might not be gay-owned, but Yemeni immigrants, I think). Get tacos next door while you’re over there. There’s also stores like Does Your Mother Know and Rock Hard.

Finally: Fucking dance

Much has been lost. (Again)

We have a couple friends who have passed from COVID and a several friends who have lost family members. A few others recovered but probably have lifetime side effects. A few others have died by suicide, no doubt exacerbated by the isolation and stress of a global health disaster.

I remember the Prime party from March 2020. You just knew. This is our last time to dance for a very long time.

Then San Francisco entered the longest strictest shutdown in the US. Most states and cities soon followed. Others hid their numbers or simply ignored the death toll. An entire civilization was on pause. Virtual events tried to keep folks buoyant and raise funds for bars and staff, but that petered out eventuallly. Some never stopped the party and went underground to private house parties or left the country to party. Constant social media swarms were arguing about accountability vs shaming (vs Hey do what-the-fuck-ever but maybe don’t fucking post about it).

But now we get to dance again. Have a beautiful man in our arms. Feel his beard against yours. Feel the bass rattling your ribcage.

And more importantly, hold your friends close. Hold them tight and dance. Love unabashedly.

I try to remind myself it hasn’t been that long ago that police would invade gay bars to stop men from simply dancing together. It is easy to take the level of relative safety we enjoy now for granted. And many queer groups in many countries and cities are still not completely safe. Hell, is anybody completely safe?

Dance for yourself. Dance for your friends. Dance for your community. Dance for those never got to have the man or woman of their dreams in their arms. Dance for those that are no longer with us. Dance for those that are still here. Dance for Pulse in Orlando, for the UpStairs Lounge in New Orleans, and for all the rest who died or were hurt while simply trying to have a fun night out.

Dance for the closeted queer kids stuck in backwards boondock burgs or dangerous families trying to just hold on until they can get out (please just hold on). Dance for those that live in countries where they would kill us for simply holding hands.

Dance for the queens, the queers, the faggots, the fairies, the leathermen, the bulldykes, and all the other outlaws who said no seriously fuck this shit and fuck you and risked their lives and their careers and their families and put it all on the line. You have the luxury of living right here, right now, because so many people fought for it.

Don’t ever forget that.

See you on the dance floor, gentlemen

…and ladies, and everyone else in between. It’s incredibly rewarding to have guys from all over the world come up and say hi and say that they read my guide or shared it with friends. So, if you see us on the dance floor, say hello (reference photo above, we have nipple piercings now FYI). Look for the complimentary Polynesian sleeve tattoos on the sexy Filipino muscle daddy with the huge smile dancing with abandon and probably waving (but never clacking) a majestic fan (my husband Ron) and the semi-serious/RBF’d inked bearded white muscle daddy wolf trying to keep up with him (me).

Thanks for reading – please share!

Andy (with editing/etc. from Ron)

p.s. You can follow my writing on FacebookTwitter, and enjoy cat photos, thirst pics, Ron’s Stepford streak, aggressive shirtlessness, and fear of aging on my Instagram (andymaticgram), but actually Ron posts better photos on his Instagram (ronamatic) and his account for his pandemic macaron obsession (macarons_by_ron). If you want even more reading in this vein, you can read my previous guides for Dore (201920182017, and the 2016 recap) and Folsom (2019, 2018, 2017, and 2014 recap). Or read about that time I turned 40 or when we got married. or on the Daddy Issues podcast talking about roids and racism, gay Trump supporters, and being pretty vs smart. And if you’re really retro, there’s the old fashioned RSS feed for my blog at