Going Clubbing

You know where are settling into summer when I theatened with being clubbed to death by a passerby.

As I’m walking back from dropping off my rent check I’m walking up Clark. Minding my own business. Don’t you make eye contact at people as you pass them?

What the fuck was that look for?

This tall older guy with a weathered face, deep blue eyes and a cane said. I took off my headset and ask:

What look?

He shot back: 

That look! You looked at me and grimaced. What the fuck was that? That fucking look! You little asshole. I ought to fucking club you, you little asshole!

He want on for a bit how awful I was and how he wanted to club me with his cane. Finally he was done and I continued my walk home.

I guess I should feel completion – I haven’t been theatened since those 2 idiots threw beer cans at Ron and I. 







5 responses to “Going Clubbing”

  1. Andy Avatar

    I just realized I should have told him that I ain’t no hollaback girl.

  2. myke Avatar

    THAT woulda made it completely funny. you mighta freaked him out just enough so that he scurried away.

  3. sam Avatar

    Maybe start doing the robot and say “oooh, this my shit, this my shit.”

  4. David Avatar

    The current New Yorker (July 11 & 18) has an article, “Fighting Words: Whatever”, that suggests the perfect response to being yelled at as you were (and even being tagged “fag” by some passing moron as happens so disturbingly from time-to-time). “Whatever” is the perfect response in these situations. As it says in the New Yorker article: “‘Whatever’ is as incendiary as it is nonchalant; the nanchalance is what makes it incendiary. ‘Whatever’ turns disengagement into something withering and mean.” . . . “The word immediately exhibits a complete lack of respect for [your attacker’s] point of view or situation.”

    It’s wonderful passive aggression. Your attacker can’t respond in any way that makes him look like anything more than a fool or a crazy person.

    I suggest pairing “whatever” with a chuckle, a sigh, or both for maximum effect. Oh, and don’t forget to walk briskly on as if nothing ever happened. Remember, it is incendiary. So if you are alone, or a smallish homo like myself, best keep moving in case you provoke a more violent response.

  5. palochi Avatar

    Crazy people are like wasps. They’re everywhere in the summer, but if you ignore them, they usually leave you alone.

    He was going to “club you with his cane?” How… Victorian. These days, most crazy people just want to pop a cap in your ass with their 38.

    Good thing you didn’t hang around longer or he might’ve threatened to partake of you in a fine lashing with his verbal acuity, sir!

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