Dancin' On Her Face

Last Friday I had run in the morning and made it down to Belmont and then
had to walk back – I’d felt my ankle a little sore by the time I made it to Grace but
when I really stopped to walk a bit I found I couldn’t run anymore. So I walked all
the way home. Being my dad’s son, I didn’t go to the doctor until this afternoon.
The diagnosis is a sprained ankle – though there was no event, or fall or slip while
I was running – I’m thinking it might be from running on the grass – uneven turf –
instead of the paved running path. I had been running on the grass for extra
cushioning but seems the uneven ground took more stress on the ankle than
the grass did in helping my arches. This coupled with the fact that I haven’t
bought new running shoes in nearly a year adds up to a collective, ‘duh’.

The metaphorical implications of my ‘best foot forward’ being painful to walk
are staggering. I’m having to premeditate movement and move slower – and
we know how much I hate moving slow. But I had one of those golden
summer moments – like last year’s 4th of July – where you think to yourself:
‘I’m gonna remember this moment when I’m freezing my nuts off in the cold
this winter.’ I went to Walgreen’s and got my drugs and an ankle brace and
took myself to dinner at Reza’s – waiting for the bus for every leg of the journey.
Sat inside the dark Persian restaurant and had some really good falafil (since
when do I eat falafil?!) and the restaurant was pretty dark and subdued and as
cars went by on Clark their windows reflected golden flashes of summer onto
my eyes. It’s one of those moments where you are just very, very content.
Stopped off at Chicago Filmmakers to see if they rent out their classroom space:
I’m shopping around for my creativity workshops I’ll be leading in a month or so.
Stopped off at the bookstore Women and Children First (not be confused with
the bar Manhole whose slogan is ‘Women and Children Last’). Bought the latest
copy of Adbusters. I also got myself
another CD by DJ Irene – Global House Divas. I’d bought her latest
Phonosynthesis last week and loved the first 15 minutes – though it gets too
house-y after that. So far this new CD doesn’t let up with the pounding tribal
edge. I think I like trance music the less human it is. The more exotic the better.
I can’t stand the screeching diva queen stuff – it’s so boring and ‘faggoty’. <

There’s a waiter at restaurant that Ron and I frequent called Coco – an asian
guy. Ron has real problems with asian guys with long unkempt hair – or guys
that are over-effeminate. Riffing off of Margraret Cho, Ron wants to go up to
Coco and say, ‘You know – I don’t think you should be called Coco. I think you
should be called Fuck-Me-In-The-Ass.’ I picture Ron in a Filipino rage knocking
fragile Coco to the floor, his knees on his chest, armed with electric clippers
shaving Coco’s head screaming ‘Get off the fucking boat! Get off the fucking
boat!’ (A reference to the idea of ‘fresh-off-the-boat’, meaning naive or ‘over-chinky’

Very good week diet-wise – as I’ve said before – the tighter
I focus on my eating habits – it seems the better all of my other organization
efforts go. No wheat for five days now – and I’m trying to eat nearly twice my
body weight in grams of protein. And it’s showing – lifting really heavy weights
seems to be doing the trick for me. Of course, I can’t run for a while now.

Tara writes:

hi, andy!

i don’t know you, and vice-versa, but just wanted to throw some praise your way – i enjoy your weblog. it’s very honest, and it is refreshing. it’s interesting to hear some things that are skeptical of the gay community as a gay person (i’m a lesbian, so of course, i’m right there with you) : per the “universal gear” issue and all that. and, from what i have gathered, we do similar things (comedy in chicago?). maybe i DO know you? best of luck, and i’ll be readin’.

take care,


Thanks chica!

Ron gets in around nine o-clock. I’m going to try and get the dishes done
so I can go down on the bus to see him once he gets home.

I’m thinking of moving into a studio apartment for the coming year in an
effort to downgrade my living expenses in preparation for leaving my job and
quitting my job. I think I can do it if I can find a studio that is large enough –
the idea of having to get rid of tons of crap also is quite attractive. I figure
I need to start practicing living in one room so if I do a little bit each week – I can
get my clutter and life-crap down to a manage-able level. I’ve already gone to
the Container Store (where I must take my mom when they come visit in
August… you see… Diane loves containers. She never met a cardboard
box she didn’t like) and bought three plastic boxes to put all the books in. And
I’m giving a way lots of books besides – except for all of the plays – you just
can’t throw those away.

Kathie – one of my coaching colleagues – was
doing a crazy exercise with a group on prosperity and she had them rip up
a dollar bill. The reaction when she asked them to do it was astounding. People
wouldn’t do it. And it wasn’t the whole destroying federal property thing. It was
the unwillingness to desecrate a symbol. And it’s just a dollar – her clients reacted
veyr strongly against it. But she said the next week the people that had
ripped up a dollar had all of these serendipitous abundance events happen – like
raises and mortgage breaks and clients and opportunities coming out of
nowhere. I was relating this to Brigitte at Leona’s and she challenged me,
‘Well, do it!’ Heh heh… the reaction I had against it was crazy – and the crazy
sense of danger and naughtiness was intoxicating. I found a dollar bill and ripped
it up into little bitty pieces right on the spot, and before I could think about it.
And I come home and in my inbox are three requests for proposals from coaches
and then I get home today and my mailbox has two affiliate sales checks from
the website. This will drive my sister nuts – it makes me nuts too – the idea that
if you just put it out there you’ll get reponse. That if you expect the universe to
support your dream, it will (from Julia Cameron).

The amount of illness at work is crazy. Trudy’s hacking and coughing. Kyra
has been hacking since December. M____ was out sick yesterday. Mark’s
prosthesis is swelling and he can’t walk. Tony’s feet swelled from an allergic
reaction. Then me and my ankle. Our section of the floor is a crazy nexus of
dis-ease. You draw your own conclusions.

The diaspora continues. Brigitte has grad school aspirations for fall 2003
and Brian is moving to Dayton to teach at Sinclair. Jason is moving to L.A. Karen
moved to San Diego. Matt is in Bloomington another year. It’s nuts. I’m here at
least another year.

Ron and I are thinking of going to Bangkok in Janurary – the hotels there
are hideously cheap and he says the shopping is crazy because you’re so
close to the manufacturers. Plus, he can get me a free flight to Tokyo or Hong
Kong and a flight from there to Bangkok shouldn’t be too expensive. Of course,
all I have in my head is ‘One Night in Bangkok’ from Chess.






One response to “Dancin' On Her Face”

  1. Sis Avatar

    OK – I’ve told you before. . . I REALLY don’t think you want to go to a studio. RIght now it’s OK because you can spend time outside. Think about when it’s going to be butt cold, and you only have one room for everything!!!!! I just don’t want you to test your sanity! love you — heather

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