- Wow, you’re fatter in person.
- I write erotica for children.
- I can smell your ass.
- Anyone else know you’re here?
- You decided to wear that?
- Oh shit, that’s my wife.
Full list http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2s7pdq/how_can_you_ruin_a_date_with_just_5_words/
Image from the double date scene from The Fisher King.
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