Tyra Banks and Dolphins

Yes. You saw it. So did I. Another sign of the coming apocalypse and that we’re all going to be Left Behind.

Today on the Tyra Banks show which I caught a bit of after getting sucked into the ending of the insidious Project Runaway they were doing an episode about confronting your fears. Tyra Banks is scared of dolphins.

Of dolphins.

Now I’m not one to talk with occasional social anxiety but at least I’m scared of land-based mammals but please!? Dolphins?

It got better.

Tyra had a girl who was scared of pennies.

No, not penises.

Pennies.

No, not JC Pennies.

Copper, US Mint 1 cent pennies.

She couldn’t bear to be in a room with pennies. So of course Tyra introduces her to dip her hands into an aquarium of pennies. To keep with the theme of no personal development without pricey trinket, Tyra had buried an expensive watch in a box in the pennies so the girl had to dig through.

But the girl had those really long fingernails that creep me out. All I think about when I see fingernails that long is someone eating Doritos or pork rinds and I think about all the crusty muck that gets caught under those nails. Yuck.

But yes – fear of pennies.

8 thoughts on “Tyra Banks and Dolphins

  1. David

    I’m with you and those creepy nails! They big acrylic ones with the french manicure scream ‘trash’, and the curved natural ones are super gross and germ magnets.

  2. Peter

    Why is she scared of dolphins? Is it because of the movie, Jaws? Was she abused by one as a child?

  3. Jamie

    Oh My God..I was just on the phone with my friend recapping this ridiculous show when I decided to check and see if anyone wrote about it. I typed in “tyra Banks and Dolphins” and your page came up. You described everything in the exact way that I was telling my friend – When in the world are you going to meet up with a dolphin? A person has more of a chance confonting an emu or a goat. I also thought that the penny girl shoveling the coins with her long fingernails was hysterical- she hardly had to touch the pennies to get her bling. I also liked the way her boyfriend was looking at it like the whole thing was just a ruse. The girl with the birds, well that is understandable, but Tyra had to make that one about herself and scream because aside from the dreaded dolphins, birds are second on her fear list. However, stoic Tyra aside from screaming and making a spectacle of herself helped these woman (albeit with the aid of gifts)conquer their all too real fear!
    Thank you for making me laugh on this rainy friday night. I wish we could talk on the phone about it!

    Jamie
    PS Just before I tuned into the Tyra show, I watched Oprah perched on her throne talking about her “all real” ponytail for 10 minutes.

  4. Julia

    You guys are all really stupid and you have no lives. Tyra Banks has all the right to be afraid of dolphins. It’s kind of the same as being afraid of sharks. Like, seriously. You guys have no lives.

  5. Benny

    A fear of Dolphins is perfectly rational, and you should not mock her for it.

    Sure, the ‘act’ all helpfull, benignly swimming in front of ships, saving surfers and their ilk from sharks and putting on wonderfull and amusing acrobatic shows, but i’ve always thought that there was a heart of darkness lurking inside their smooth, rubbery bodies. No animal that has a permenant smile can be up to anything good.

    Perhaps they are saving us so that when their (bear with me) alien masters return, the population will be large enough to ensure that these creatures will never run out of tasty, human snacks?

    Perhaps, through the medium of mind control (which all dolphins possess) there will come a day when the whole human population is commanded to walk into the sea and take their rightful place in the planatery food chain?

    There will be no warning when they come. Mark my works and God help us all.

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