Toyz

Missy Elliot wrapped in fur.My copy of Missy Elliot’s This is Not a Test! came in from an Amazon seller – had to wait a little longer than I’d want – but it was used and cheaper – even with shipping. Anyway – I haven’t laughed out loud at a song in a long time but her paean to vibrators, ‘Toyz’ contains this break lyric:

I’m just keeping myself occupied like all women do when they are taking a bath
And when you leave, make sure you don’t slam the door
because you fuck up my concentration

I laughed out loud on that one. Just like I did when I first heard the elephant trumpeting in ‘Work It’. And I just heard this for the first time and smiled: (‘Pump It Up’)

down south girls got them real big butts,
real big butts make ya man wanna look,
back it up, flip it up, skinny girls ICK!
love my gut so fuck a tummy tuck, OH YEAH!
yup, i shakes my butt, shakes my gut like ‘yeah bitch, what?’

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About Andy

Gay Hoosier Taurus INFJ ex-playwright pianist gymbunny published author in San Francisco. Tw · Fb

One thought on “Toyz

  1. Andy

    Oh my God. There is a song called ‘Let Me Fix My Weave’. That is awesome. It’s that self-satire that Missy does better than anybody (along with great booty-waking bass loops).

    COMMENT:
    how shamefully and reprehensibly vulgar! and would you believe that i’ve been agonising about whether i should say this or not? i should not be intimidated into silence by thoughts that someone’s immediate reaction would be to tell me to “lighten up” or call me an “elitist” without regard to the virtues of having standards. “funny and entertaining” doesn’t cut it. work of the nature in question is unacceptable to me when it devalues humanity, makes it acceptable to behave disrespectfully and vulgarly and appeals to the lowest common denominator. ugh.

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