That article exulting Americans that I posted two days ago was written 30 years ago. I updated below.
I don’t watch this much TV in a month. I can’t stop. The repetition and the lack of commercials provides a constant, steady press on my brain. I find that I am ultra-cranky lately. I feel like doing nothing. Nothing at all. But sleeping on the futon and waking up to each new report.
I think one of the scariest things about being in this whole netherworld of grey is the way events develop and grow and fade. The firefighter story that turned out to be not victims from the rubble but rescue workers who got trapped – though that might be the same thing. Loved ones wander the streets with pictures of their missing relatives taped to their shirts. A journalist named Elizabeth on CNN nearly broke down talking to these families. 15 minutes later the anchors at the news desk said ‘Let’s show what happened a bit ago. This affects even us journalists too.’ They played the wrong clip – it wasn’t her breaking down – it was a different interview. Then 15 minutes later they went back to Elizabeth and she was interviewing more people. The gratuitiousness of this got to me – then they played the right clip of a dutiful journalist holding back her grief on international media. It just felt like so much media dick-swinging. I want to believe that we are receiving the events live and unfiltered – I didn’t see people falling off the building on video on American news sources immediately – it was on the BBC channel. The initial story of a car-bomb outside the Capitol Building – did it happen? Where did it come from? That story was quashed before the end of the day. And the suspiciousness of the sudden ‘they were aiming for Air Force One’ line of reporting. The planners of this apocalypse new well in advance where everyone was. Or the shots of Bush in the Oval Office on the phone – talking importantly – it seemed so goddamned staged. I shouldn’t have to worry that he’s going to make a complete fool of himself on the international scene.