Sitting on the phone with

Sitting on the phone with Dell Financial Services – I gotta know how much I paid out to them this year for my computer for my taxes. Gotta call my tax consultant too.

Proud to say that I didn’t watch TV at all yesterday. I still don’t even know who one the Super Bowl. And I really don’t care. I will tune in tonight to catch a little bit of that EyeVision technology I’d been reading about and view the top ads. Though last year’s Bowl was I think when the ‘Wazzzup!’ commercials debuted which I missed – somehow I’ve never seen that commercial. And it wasn’t anything new to me – we used to say that in AP Calculus in high school. I think it is funny how sayings and slang travel the country – and that the net helps to close that gap as well. Trends and memes die out more rapidly too.

Had a nice weekend – except for the dancing. I was out all day yesterday. Went to my massage – number five in the series. Today Patrick went to ‘the core’ which is basically the pelvis and psoas muscles. Very very very intense work. One helpful thing about this whole process is I’m seeing how the musculature of my body is laid out and what connects to what. Of course I say that as a slump in my chair like one of our high school cheerleaders (those girls could slouch!). But to have him working on the insertion of the psoas – basically at the root of my spine and feel the pull all way up my abs and to my back – it is just fascinating. But the core work was very intense. He’d say ‘I’m coming out now’ and he’d release his hands – I didn’t realize that the human body was so deep. At one point he had his hands directly on my pelvic wall – between my navel and nether-region. That was odd. The best was when he was working on getting my right quad to release – I had this overwhelming urge to giggle. And I let it fly. I laughed and laughed – I don’t know if it was stored emotion or the ridiculousness of paying someone to hurt me every week but I just sat on the table and snickered for a good five minuets. My right foot is starting to come underneath me and my right oblique is starting to release – basically it is all about my right side.

Then I called a bunch of people to see who was available for dinner – Anthony said yes. Walked to his place and we had dinner at Ping Pong – that was nice. I love potstickers. He’s growing a soul patch and looks pretty avant-garde.

Then I went to Caribou Coffee and had some green tea. I’d brought along First Things First. It really got me in a pro-active do-it kind of mood. I started planning my week around Quadrant II activities. Started writing some powerful questions down:

  • What if stopped stopping and started starting?
  • What if there was no obstacle?
  • What if I wasn’t scared?
  • What if I dropped out?
  • What if I said no?
  • What if I gave it all away?
  • What if I stopped living in fear?
  • What if I didn’t care what mom or dad thought?
  • What if I kept it all quiet?
  • What if I led the revolution
  • What if I stopped worrying about money?
  • What if I really was as awesome as people tell me I am?
  • What if I never went to work ever again?
  • What if I let go of the result?

I got that really exciting feeling in my bones that I was doing something important. You know? Like you transcend the everyday work-a-day grind and you are in a cruisy coffeehouse with industrial music pumping through your head reading self-help books and something is connecting. Something you’ve always known but allow yourself to forget. Something that is so basic ever since you started playing with puppets as a kid or dreaming of being the next Spike Lee. Something you’ve always known inside yourself that is so rooted into your being that it becomes assumed and sometimes forgotten. You remember how sacred your time and energy is and how much of it you squander on people that don’t hold you as important and sacred. You notice where you’re doing what every body else is doing and how you are starting to become assimilationist and hard plastic instead of elastic.

I need to dig up my old mission statement from college and re-vamp it.

After that catharting I went over to Matt and Brians. Brian introduced Christian to me: ‘This is my boyfriend.’ I haven’t heard Brian say the word ‘boyfriend’ ever, I don’t think. Christian is a really sweet guy and I know he’s quality because he’s the first guy Brian’s dated that I’ve been envious of. Matt had just gotten back from a weekend stage combat workshop and learned all sorts of new ways to ‘hurt’ people. We all went to go see Shadow of the Vampire which I wasn’t hugely impressed with. I found Malkovich to be a little over-the-top and the thing was poorly paced. Willem looks like shit of course. Especially here. The best line in the movie was

Relax and as they say: Let the vampire do the work.

Got out of the movie and came home – rifled through emails and went beddie bye.