Resident Evil: Apocalypse

I have to withdraw a comment I made at the video store today. I was thinking how funny Milla Jovovich was in Zoolander and Head Over Heels and why didn’t someone give her more comedic roles. Yes, she is sorta funny as Katinka Ingabogovinanana in Zoolander and when Ron decided to catch Head Over Heels on TV last week, I assumed the funny, deadpan Euro model was her.

I was wrong: it was Ivana Milicevic. She should do deadpan comedy. Though Milla might do good as well. But Ivana had great deadpan timing.

Incidentally, Head Over Heels is terrible. It is awful. I went to bed before it was done – Ron watched it because he has no taste when it comes to romantic comedies – he likes them all. Freddie Prinze, Jr has the charm of a tree stump and the masculinity of a clover. The heroine is a hot-swappable Julia Roberts clone that manages to make her one sympathetic point be her complete lack of consciousness.

Anyway, Resident Evil: Apocalypse is a dumb movie. And not dumb fun action. Just dumb. I started fast forwarding through it because it sucked so bad. Poor plotting, poor characterization, poor action sequences. Just an all-around celebration of mediocrity. The first Resident Evil movie was okay. But this one is a stinker. Be sure to have Arizon Green Tea with Ginseng and a bag of cookies because you’ll start reading about High Fructose Corn Syrup before this snoozer is done.

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