In the interest of fairness, and in the interest of not having to hear these horrible fucking songs anymore, I submit the following dumb ideas for next year’s show: Invite the Best Achievement in Editing nominees to come out at fifteen minute intervals and discuss which parts of the previous fifteen shitty minutes they would have cut out if the show wasn’t live.
So when Emmy Rossum walked out, was I the only person who thought, “Good God! They decapitated Renee Zellweger and screwed Emmy Rossum’s head onto the stump”? Also, while it’s nice to see that Beyonce’s face did not sage into Shar-Pei-like folds after her eyebrows were released from the previous hairstyle.
I think it’s fabulous that they invited Elvira to give out “Best Supporting Actor.” Oh, wait. The caption says that’s Renee Zellweger.
Every Time a Pixar Movie Wins an Oscar… Michael Eisner savagely beats an intern.
And one final note from me:
I wanna party with Ms. Eastwood! Hell yeah! I bet she can put it away!