Oreo Snowdrift

The gym/diet re-loaded plan that Ron and I concocted is hitting a few speedbumps. I need to shake myself of the habit of having some kind of sweetness before I go to bed. Tonight it was an Oreo Snowdrift from the Caribou (saw Kris he lives on the same floor as Ron).

I think my coach is getting frustrated with me because I’m all talk. I outlined all of my business-type plans for the next year: developing a full line of business blogging products and services in anticipation of the book release. And all of that stuff I love doing. I have this sick love for writing documentation – I like the puzzle of trying to make it easy to understand. I’ll probably run the blogging class as a teleclass only a couple more times and then convert it to either ebook/print format and/or a live seminar. The rss/newsfeeds course will probably go straight to ebook/ecourse format. I still want to jam on a usability/marketability course of some sort (inspired by Don’t Make Me Think) and maybe some OpenOffice evangelism.

But none of this addresses any of my ‘change the world’ needs. That’s one reason why I signed up for Mitch and Michael’s course because I think it’ll be a great way to jog my thinking. It’s like all the techie-type training stuff is great and fun but if it is not really changing lives – not just businesses – then what’s the point? I feel like it’s not enough. I know I’m a child of children of the ’60’s. Mom and dad became teachers to change the world (and they have – grown adults still stop dad at Wal-Mart and tell him how crucial his fifth grade class was for them). And my sister is a hands-on healer with massage.

Dara (my coach) keeps saying that I’m keeping everything too contrained, too small – that she wants to hear the canvas – not just the details. I used to know exactly what I wanted to do: work in regional professional theatre as a director and playwright. Most of that dream has disintegrated for many reasons – not to discount it’s importance in guiding me to where I am thus far. I just don’t see the point in all the struggle. I used to want to write screenplays or work on a sitcom but now that seems so trite and trifling. Sometimes I feel like because entertainment is available in such abundance that to create more towards that end is not very productive. Perhaps this is the pre-shake before turning thirty (which to be honest I see with less magnitude each day).

Time for bed. I’ll reflect further.

8 thoughts on “Oreo Snowdrift

  1. dad

    YOU ARE A WRITER YOU SEE THE LIVES AND DREAMS OF PEOPLE AND YOU WRITE AND SHARE THEIR STORIES WITH THE WORLD.

    You craft words,stories,the dreams that only a few can see.Can you find the words? Or will the words fall to the ground with the hopes, ideas and dreams…

    The day we left you in Chicago I sat up all night and wounder what will be come of my little boy in the big woods. Simple he grew in to a man.If every thing you try fails you still can come home and and weave rugs. A discipline- one thread at a time, one sentence at a time. You need a creative workshock. Camp! Something to push you to do what you know you need to. Listen to the force Luke!! Look inside and ask the universe to give you the sign…

    Indiana Dad

  2. JC

    It seems that as our plans evolve and the reality of our lives differs from what is our imagination, we have to mourn for the way we thought things would unfold. Additionally, I think sometimes you have to readjust the way your dream will manifest itself. Regarding the ‘change the world’ needs I will say that from reading your website, I feel like a better person. I know that sounds cheesy, but I really feel like you are putting good stuff into the world~ news that we should be aware of and personal stories so that we can all garner insight and feel like we are in good company.

  3. Andy

    For completeness – the majority of the comment of my dad above is from a letter he wrote to me a long time ago. Since then I’ve considered ‘Wordshaper’ (mentioned in the original) as a sort of tribal name.

  4. Andy

    (5 seconds later)

    And how close are

    Wordshaper

    and

    Worldshaper.

    And how much of a gift is it that my dad actually responds to my blog?

  5. JC

    I like thinking about the proximity of the Wordshaper and the Worldshaper. Huge gift that your dad responds to your blog 🙂

  6. Jef

    I gave up a lot of dreams from when I was younger and headed into the corporate world and now I have been unraveling my old way of thinking over the past two years and dusting off some of those old dreams. I’m remembering what fills me with joy and what I feel passionate about. I think that’s the key. Perhaps you shouldn’t give up on the writing or directing forever. Maybe the timing is not right for the moment, but perhaps it will be at some point in the future. How many times do we find that when we commit to something fully, opportunities that shouldn’t happen appear out of nowhere? Personally, or perhaps gratuitiously, I think you should just allow yourself to be open to what gives you the most joy and observe. I think that will lead to where you truly need to be at this moment. Don’t give up so soon.

  7. Andy

    Perhaps you shouldn’t give up on the writing or directing forever.

    Of course not! I reserve the right at any time to totally change the way I think. 😀

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