The gym/diet re-loaded plan that Ron and I concocted is hitting a few speedbumps. I need to shake myself of the habit of having some kind of sweetness before I go to bed. Tonight it was an Oreo Snowdrift from the Caribou (saw Kris he lives on the same floor as Ron).
I think my coach is getting frustrated with me because I’m all talk. I outlined all of my business-type plans for the next year: developing a full line of business blogging products and services in anticipation of the book release. And all of that stuff I love doing. I have this sick love for writing documentation – I like the puzzle of trying to make it easy to understand. I’ll probably run the blogging class as a teleclass only a couple more times and then convert it to either ebook/print format and/or a live seminar. The rss/newsfeeds course will probably go straight to ebook/ecourse format. I still want to jam on a usability/marketability course of some sort (inspired by Don’t Make Me Think) and maybe some OpenOffice evangelism.
But none of this addresses any of my ‘change the world’ needs. That’s one reason why I signed up for Mitch and Michael’s course because I think it’ll be a great way to jog my thinking. It’s like all the techie-type training stuff is great and fun but if it is not really changing lives – not just businesses – then what’s the point? I feel like it’s not enough. I know I’m a child of children of the ’60’s. Mom and dad became teachers to change the world (and they have – grown adults still stop dad at Wal-Mart and tell him how crucial his fifth grade class was for them). And my sister is a hands-on healer with massage.
Dara (my coach) keeps saying that I’m keeping everything too contrained, too small – that she wants to hear the canvas – not just the details. I used to know exactly what I wanted to do: work in regional professional theatre as a director and playwright. Most of that dream has disintegrated for many reasons – not to discount it’s importance in guiding me to where I am thus far. I just don’t see the point in all the struggle. I used to want to write screenplays or work on a sitcom but now that seems so trite and trifling. Sometimes I feel like because entertainment is available in such abundance that to create more towards that end is not very productive. Perhaps this is the pre-shake before turning thirty (which to be honest I see with less magnitude each day).
Time for bed. I’ll reflect further.