Non-Controversial Christ Painting Under Fire

Non-Controversial Christ Painting Under Fire From Art Community: (The Onion)

“Perhaps we can reach some sort of compromise,” Anderson said. “I don’t want to go so far as to soak the painting in the menstrual blood of a 13-year-old girl, as some have demanded, but I’m open to other suggestions. We might be able to scare up a pint or two of rhino vomit to splash on the canvas. And I know candied yams can be mashed into a nice, viscous paste and spread pretty easily. Personally, I like the painting as it is, but if a little shock is all it takes to calm everybody down, I’m all for it.”

“In my 1997 piece ‘Shitrock Salad (Eat ‘Em Upp) #79,’ I placed myself in a sealed plexiglass coffin for eight days with only a slender tube providing me air, while maggots writhed about my ranch-dressing-covered body,” performance artist Eugene Weaver said. “While I admit ‘Jesus Rising’ shows some skill in composition and color, I think Nunez could have made a far more powerful statement by scourging his naked flesh with broken glass, rolling in a bed of salt, and crucifying himself on an old metal mattress frame.”

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Gay Hoosier Taurus INFJ ex-playwright pianist gymbunny published author in San Francisco. Tw · Fb

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