The thing about the winter sometimes is it is so warm indoors that you can’t tell if you are having a panic attack or if it just the fireplace here in the Caribou Coffee on Clark and Barry.
Ron is presumed safely ensconced in his asian adventure. Tonight they are in Hong Kong and they go to Bangkok in a couple days. I wish I could have gone but not with this whole crew. Me and 5 gay Filipinos is a bit much when I don’t know Tagalog. Plus, they are all shoppers and I think that would have annoyed me in the long run.
I have issued myself the challenge of not eating out for the entire time that Ron is away. The siren call of quick eats at restaurants is so loud sometimes… I’m sure the staff of Stella’s will think that I’ve died. But day one went well with breakfast of flaxseed, oatmeal, banana and dried cranberries. Then a snack of a protein shake with yogurt, Isopure, raspberries and milk. Then for lunch I had red cargo rice (a reddish cousin to brown rice) with spaghetti sauce and ground turkey. Then another protein shake, I think. Then for dinner, steak marinated in mandarin sauce over more brown rice. And to think my mom used to figure out entire menus for the entire family every week of every year.
I’m also cutting out caffeine. I’d been getting hooched up before my workouts and I think it might be making me more skittish than I need to be. I think that is why I have a mild headache. I’m allowed green tea since you have to drink a ton of it to get the same buzz.
I figure it is easier to implement these habits and then have Ron come back into my world. I think too often it is easy to ‘blame’ him for the interruptions that keep me from optimizing my living, so to speak. Aside from the caffeine withdrawal I feel better than usual. Isn’t it amazing when you treat yourself with absolute care and attention that you feel better. That’s a shocker for sure.
I am working on the book promotion most of my day. Did emails and faxes to my alumni associations.
I felt a lot better once I realized that I don’t have to get all of this stuff done before the book comes out. I felt a lot better after I had that realization.
The videotape I was using to tape 24 for Ron and I to watch at a later time is sticking for some reason. I tried fast forwarding a couple times and testing it but it isn’t working. I’ll see if I can get a copy of tonight’s episode elsewhere.
I am going to go out with Kevin on Thursday. I haven’t seen her in such a long time. We’re going to see ‘Why We Fight’. I figur ethat i one dispensation I can have from eating out.
Stopped by the supplement store today and got some tea tree oil for my feet. Maryam said it should help with my athlete’s foot.
Suzanne and I start our teleseminar on Wednesday. It’s an 8-weeker so I’m going to need to keep refreshed. Luckily we’ve got some guest stars coming in to help spice things up a bit.
I keep falling into alternate universes in Wikipedia. A few hours in the Buffyverse, a spare 20-minutes in A Clockwork Orange, another rabbit hole into Star Trek or into the fine details of the world of the Aliens or R. Crumb. Just spent five minutes reading about the origin of the Borg.
Wow – here comes another panic attack. Yeek. I’ve been experimenting with trying to magnify them and move through them faster. Instead of ignoring them – just diving in. Whew. Still going. (Later) Ahhh… that’s better.
Do you ever think of how little you use your imagination these days? Yes ‘Imagination is more important than knowledge.’ I think imagination is a habit. A muscle that can be exercised.
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