At home now. Had a bacchanal on Friday night – at least as far as dance and drink go. A little kissing action but nothing too too carnal.
Being home makes me jumpy. The girls all look like they’re out of bad Glamour Shots and have the kind eyebrows I’m use to seeing back at home in el bario. Very socially inept people. I really feel out of sorts going there. The night before we went to dinner with all of my mom’s siblings. And there the generation gap grew even wider. I think being home makes me anixous because I’m trying to clean myself of so many patterns and thoughts and energies that I got from being home for all these years and being back int he fray makes me anxious and jittery. I just can’t listen to the same stories for the umpteenth time anymore. Drives me nuts. And I feel like a real bastard because of it too. Oh well.
And the eating has been non-stop. From the dinner on Friday with Stephen leading to drinking and more drinking and drinking at Sidetrack and drinking and dancing at Roscoe’s to drinking and dancing at Berlin to chilling out at some guy Louis’s house to coming home at 4:30 to take a shower – back out on the street at 5:30 – to the airport at 6:30am – to the train – to awaken on landing – to breakfast and back to sleep at home in my own bed – it was a long long long party time. Next week is all about green tea and romaine lettuce.
Stephen was talking about this hot Pakistani guy he knows that has like 2% body fat – that his skin is taut – that’s what I want to have. I want to get rid of all the fat and just look like my skin is stretch over my muscles. Considering going no-breads for a few weeks to see if that finally does it. Got the photo shoot with Eric in a few weeks too so I gotta get lithe for that. Though Brigitte’s mom remarked how thin I’m looking and Aunt Joyce did as well.
Tomorrow morning is Christmas. We’re going to 10:30 mass I think. Then to the O’bryans. Christmas just seems to be in my way this year. I want to come home and spend time with mom and dad but not have to do all the other obligatory stuff. I’m glad that I’m going home on Tuesday morning. Go home and do laundry, order Webvan – plan the week – de-sugar and de-grain the house. I keep thinking about the whole fitness/diet goals – if I do get to this amazing chiseled body that I so desire will I be able to really keep it – will I really be able to remain on that kind of diet? We’ll see. Am I just a freaked out diet nut? Perhaps. Obsessed? Definitely. Really liking the whole idea of the Andy rollout. Andy 2.0 – or I guess 2.0.1 – we’ll see. I just have visions of getting to do some worldly travel with some modeling work. We’ll see. One step at a time young master Andrew… I can’t wait to start the massage therapy program – oh yeah – if I could actually gain some inches in height that would be too amazing! We’ll see…