Inappropriate Cabaret

Brigitte told a yarn about going to see Elaine Stritch and she’s commenting on
cabaret singers singing songs that are way too old for them. Elaine:

I don’t get it with women in their mid-30s singing ‘I’m Still Here.’ Where
have you been?

This led to a riff on other inappropriate songs suchs as an 8 year old singing
‘Send in the Clowns.’ Or ‘Move On’ or ‘Ladies Who Lunch.’ Really – any tyke
singing Sondheim.

This led to a revelation that I always have to sing the ‘Witch’s Rap’ from
Into the Woods whenever I’m in the produce section at Dominicks.
As soon as I see watercress it’s all over and I’m off and chanting:

Greens, greens, and nothing but greens:
Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery,
Asparagus and watercress and
Fiddleferns and lettuce–!
He said ‘all right,’
But it wasn’t, quite,
‘Cause I caught him in the autumn
In my garden one night!
He was robbing me,
Raping me,
Rooting through my rutabaga
Raiding my arugula and
Ripping up the rampion
(My champion! My favorite!)

I usually stop by then because I’ve grabbed my baby spinach and moved on to
the salted,
cured meats.

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About Andy

Gay Hoosier Taurus INFJ ex-playwright pianist gymbunny published author in San Francisco. Tw · Fb

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