I’ve been informed recently that Alan and Jessi are going to have a couple’s shower. Maybe I’m just a sexist pig but I contend that 95% of the spin and buzz that surrounds an imminent wedding is really for the benefit of the women involved. The guys? Our duty is to just make sure Alan shows up (slightly) sober the day of the event. And there seems to be the thought that some of the the things the gals schedule they really don’t want to do but everybody else had them for their wedding and goddammit so am I. I mean as soon as a ring appears the obsession begins. Immediately wedding magazines begin to infiltrate the house and constant phone calls and commuiques are made and exchanged to make the day Better Than Everybody Else’s. But the word couples shower hits me like a demolition ball. Eek. I picture hyper women playing games and forcing their less than enthusiastic men to join in. And what if you’re not part of a couple? What then? Is this some sort of shaming device? Am I allowed to attend solo (and further – would I want to?)? If I had a long-term boyfriend could I bring him? Where do same-sex couples fit into the construct of a couples shower? Is it just more propaganda being foisted on me to discourage a) single-living and b) ‘deviant’ dating? I dunno. Is it just going to be me with Brigitte and Karen doing a triple date? Argh I say, argh. And Jessi, if you read this – I LOVE YOU DEARLY. Just couples showers make me nervous.
I found a new word that strikes fear into the hearts of all men everywhere: couples shower