Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad (and Ron and I)

It is Saturday. Brigitte and I are off to Ikea in a bit. Her beau celebrated his birthday last night so they went out to see Tony Bennet at Ravinia.

Ron is out for the week but tomorrow we celebratre the five year anniversary of our first date. At Joy’s Noodles (the fasted Thai noodleshop in the West!). We’d met about 2 weeks before but Ron blew me off for a few weeks (I think he though he was being coy). I was in the middle of producing a play and had just had a summer of heavy dancing and partying and was ready to calm down for the fall. I had no intention of meeting anyone – and certainly not someone I’d spend five years with. But that’s how it happens. Hell, it took a while before I even thought I’d find a man I could love and appreciate. He’s out of the country right now on a flight and won’t get back for another five days. I think our time apart is crucial to our success. Happy anniversary, honey.

My mom and dad celebrate 39 years of wedded bliss today. I remember when mom’s parents celebrated their 60th anniversary – it was a huge, huge party. I’m hoping Heather and I can cook up something grand for mom and dad’s 40th next year. The one thing I have always learned from watching mom and dad interact is the importance of humor. Love, rant, rave, yell, give the silent treatment… but I think a sense of humor is what always got them through. And an insistence on always being playful. And touching. Mom and dad are very warm with eachother. There is, of course, an element of stubborness to any long-lasting marriage and a certain amount of pig-headedness as well. A love of knowledge was key to their parenting style and I think it is also key to their matrimony.

I think the true foundation of a happy marriage is never doing wallpapering. The most vicious arguments and dynamics seemed to awaken when they attempted to wallpaper the house. They are beginning to search for contractors to remodel the kitchen, but I think they’ll make it to year #40.

I try to describe to people how we grew up in a household that was both conservative (mom left teaching to raise us, family dinners every night, Sunday mass, private high school, Southern Living magazine) and liberal (handweaving, crystal healing, violin, piano, 60 Minutes, PBS, arts fairs, Playboy magazine) at the same time. And I think that’s why I get really tired when gay rights activists talk about homosexuality as some revolution or evolution. I still want a loving spouse and kids and the whole shebang. I think most of the conflicts that Ron and I have arise from cultural differences than from a deviation in gender norms. My midwestern upbringing remains at the core. I was raised with some strict ideas of what and wasn’t appropriate but also with a strict regard for the right of other people to do what they want and believe what they want. We were rarely ever censored. They didn’t freak out when I brought an audio tape bootleg of 2 Live Crew’s As Nasty As They Wanna Be. They knew they’d given me the context to understand it as ‘just music’ as well as the debate about obscenity and free speech.

I think I’ve written this before but I’ll write it again. Mom and dad were children of the 60s but they didn’t seek revolution in the civil rights movement or the women’s lib movement or the anti-war movement, they found revolution in starting a family and raising two individuals to be the best possible people they could be.

9 thoughts on “Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad (and Ron and I)

  1. Lisa

    Happy Anniversary Andy & Ron! I wish you both many, many more years of love and happiness together.

    Happy Anniversary Andy’s Mom & Dad! While I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Heather, I can confidently say, knowing Andy, that you did a damn fine job of raising him to be the best possible person he could be. Thank you! May you both also have many, many more years of love and happiness together.

  2. Ron

    Hi honey, Happy Anniversary!!, I made it to Kuwait safely, the flight on the way was great! We had 270 Marines on board!!!!!! My crew and I were sooo excited. I have so such to tell you when I get back home. Gilbert, Bill and I, along with two other Flight Attendants went on Boat/Cruise at the Reines River in Germany yesterday, I have Photos, but I could not figure out how to send it using iPhoto.
    Love Yah!!

  3. Andy

    Yeah honey, I wasn’t going to tell everybody that you were in Kuwait but you burst the bubble. Ron worked a flight flying Marines into the Mid-East. We were worried since burkas don’t flatter Ron’s figure.

  4. Ron

    Hi Honey,
    NOBODY wear Burka in Kuwait!!, It’s very Americanized here, People have been Great!! We are the very first crew to Stay at this hotel and I must tell you, We had a welcome reception with a huge cake and drinks, afterwards were were invited to the General Managers House, with Live Piano music, cocktails and Hor De Vors! After the Hor De Vors, we were taken to a Lebanese restaurant and had a 7 course meal, with everything a fancy restaurant have and more!! The manager also arranged for tour of their “friday market” with personal assistants for each flight attendant, on Monday the manager arranged for a Bus Tour of the City along with personal assistants. My perception of the Kuwaiti people was 100 percent wrong, I slapped myself several times in the face. I am having the BEST trip EVER! The hotel employees are Mostly Filipinos so that adds MORE icing on the cake, (did I quote that right?). Anyways, I love it here!!! The Hotel is a 5 star so we get everything we want at no cost because we are the First American Crew to stay here. YOU HAVE TO SEE THE WORLD’S BIGGEST CHANDELEIR!!!! I LOVE IT! I want one for our foyer!!!!!

  5. Andy

    Mega-chandeliers, all-Filipino-all-the-time, shattered-perceptions, 5-star-hotels, 7-course dinners… once again Ron has the best time ever.

  6. Brigitte

    I have had the pleasure of meeting Dan and Diane Wibbles. What amazing people who have created an equally amazing family. Friends of Andy have always been treated with respect and love without judgement of skin color, hair color, religious affiliation or sexual orientation. (Though Andy’s mom once asked me to wear something other than all black when I came to visit.) You always feel like family in their home.
    Happy Anniversary Wibbles!!!

    Ron MUST guest blog when he returns. Talk about shattering perceptions. It all sounds amazing.

    Happy Anniversary Andy and Ron!

  7. Maryam Webster

    Well glory be to jehosaphat, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Andy and Ron! What a cool thing to read on my catch-up at Andymatic. And Ron! You look spectacular having so very much fun (above). Coolness! The parents who raised Andy must be very special indeed, I concurr with Lisa. Happy 39th to you Diane and Dan and fifth to you Andy and Ron – long may your love glow bright!

    Love and Laughter to all…

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