Sam on his past party days:
Don’t get me wrong – I had fun. But it stopped being fun when I realized that I was still lonely in the morning. And it started being hurtful, even if it was only self-inflicted, when we would finish our “play time” and he would ask me to stay and I would leave anyway. I never expected any of those times to be only one night flings, but that’s what I became accustomed to and when it looked like maybe my expectations were being met, I had to run. I couldn’t bear the thought that someone whom I was attracted to, physically and mentally, was attracted to me as well. I am still burdened by that thought.
And from ZenLeo:
I remember when I lived for summer holiday weekends. I starved myself all week because I’d be dancing all weekend with my shirt off. I stressed out about the “right outfit” – usually loose pants (with no underwear) and an easy to remove shirt. I’d make an entrance with my friends and my boyfriend. We’d dance non-stop until the bar closed then continue on somewhere else groovin’ as the sun came up. That was my life until one night I had an epiphany on the dance floor. I looked around at all the other guys, dancing shirtless, twirling lights above their heads. I saw people that were my “friends”. But they were only people I partied with. We never met for coffee, cooked for each other, called to say “hi”, never hung out on a Friday night popping popcorn and watching movies. I looked at my boyfriend dancing next to me and wanted to cry. What the hell were we doing?