Glimmers

A co-worker yesterday commented that I looked like I’m getting beefier. That’s always good news. I think I’ve lifted regularly enough for a while now that the growth hormones are starting to kick in.

Had a half-hour panic attack yesterday while I was leading a team call. Very embarrassing. I just rebooted on Zoloft last week so I guess it’ll take awhile for that to take effect but I’d even taken a Xanax yesterday morning and that didn’t seem to take the edge off – or maybe it did and kept me from having a one-hour hot flash. Came home and read some more of ‘Angels & Demons’ and went to sleep.

I’m captivated by Dan Brown’s writing style. It is so schlocky and dumbed down. He’ll make a high-culture reference and at the same time find a way to over-explain it to the proles. I think his main device is that he cuts chapters in the middle of scenes. Instead of a chapter being a dramatic unit, he slices the scene and says ‘after the break!’ or ‘when we come back!’ Still you can’t put it down. And like Lois on Family Guy said (or was it Marge Simpson?) ‘Ya feel really smart because the chapters are so short.’ Ron has already read the book and is teasing that he’ll give away the ending. There’s few things I demand in this relationship and not screwing up plot twists is one of them.

I think Ron and I are doing pretty well living together. I think we might start lifting at the gym at night together to get us out of the house and keep us from the TV. I can just do cardio in the morning to start the day then and then come back at night for weights. Yes, we’ve had some verbal scuffles but I think the fact that we still laugh a lot all the time is a good sign. That is something I think my sister and I picked up from our parents – that you have to laugh a lot in a relationship.

I’m always amazed that no matter what time of the day I look outside the Bay Bridge is bumper to bumper on both levels. It could be 3am in the morning and the thing is a cascade of headlights.

There have been glimmers of hope lately in the national news. Even though I don’t trust Obama from a policy level (yet) I think just the figurehead aspect of a man of color leading a nation built on genocide and slavery is a fantastic idea. It will be unfortunate to see the GOP pull out all the stops with as much coded racism as they can get away with without using white robes and burning crosses. I’m most excited about Michelle. I just love her. Tenacious and practical. And I can’t believe there was a flap about Obama patting her on the butt and them doing the godawful fist-bump. When I win Senate I’m gonna shove my hand down Ron’s pants and sing Goldfinger.

Next time you’re in the shower with a man, sing Goldfinger and when you say the song’s title, reach down and flap their balls. It’s funny. Or when they are still asleep in the morning with iTunes blasting some bass-y Bassey.

Other glimmers are Kucinich putting in the impeachment articles. I hope he just drives the knife on this one. And fuck Pelosi for ignoring it. How dare she abandon her Constitutional duty. Fuck all of them. The more they make short jokes the more you know he’s right.

I’m so happy for Queen Latifah coming out and announcing she’s gonna marry her gal. I’ve always liked her. Something about her is so charismatic and warm. I think I first noticed this in that awful Bone Collector movie. She has that massive smile. Congrats to her. Better late than never and I hope it doesn’t limit her career. It is all so stupid to have to stay in the closet so xenophobes won’t feel icky aligning to a homosexual actor playing a straight character.

Another glimmer is the Supreme Court deciding that yes the prisoners in Gitmo are real people with rights. This is the third time they’ve decided this. Meanwhile we’ve had men rotting in prison for SIX YEARS. Six fucking years! That is not due process. The fact that it takes so long to do all these decisions drives me nuts. This all should have been decided in a matter of weeks. Not years. And of course Scalia has the worst opinion of all of them and Clarence Thomas (known for not saying a single goddamn word in his entire time on the bench) just says ‘I’ll have what he’s having.’ If McCain wins, he’s going to stack the Supreme Court with more conservatives and then we’ll really be screwed. But I’ll be blogging from Iran anyway by then when they institute the draft.

I probably need to take a week off from the gym along with some deep tissue massage. I’ve been going there pretty much every day for several months and my right knee has a slight ache and I don’t want to screw things up.

I think what also drives me crazy is the media blackout on the impeachment articles. We have a president with the lowest approval ratings in history and along comes the device to make him responsible for his actions and there’s little coverage.

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About Andy

Gay Hoosier Taurus INFJ ex-playwright pianist gymbunny published author in San Francisco. Tw · Fb

3 thoughts on “Glimmers

  1. G

    I feel your pain, withdrawal can be a bitch. I’m back on Paxil after trying nothing, then Zoloft, withdrawal and panic attacks sprinkled in between each.

  2. mark

    I have panic attacks quite frequently. They come and go. I now take Klonopin for it and it works almost immediately it seems. It’s a pill mainly used for seizures.

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