Dear parents, you obviously are too goddamn stupid to have a reproductive system. Please hand your penis and vagina to your proctor on the way out.
Nope, it isn’t an Onion headline:
His girlfriend told police that they had been arguing about the upbringing of their son and which gang he should belong to. The teen mother, who is black, is a member of the Crips. Manzanares is Hispanic and belongs to the Westside Ballers gang, the woman said. "They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised. Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would ‘claim,’" Sandoval said.