Category Archives: Sex

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Don’t Call Women “Girls”

At my job before this one, one of the millennial guys said, “Oh this vendor is going to have their girls look over this.” And one of the woman VPs said, “Really? They have little girls doing this for us? That’s amazing.” It was a good way to call it out with gentle ribbing and a reminder that language matters.

From MeFi:

I work with plenty of men who refer to their professional female colleagues as ‘girls’. It’s especially bad when it’s referring to an all-female team, like ‘the HR girls’.

They don’t call their male colleagues boys. Children generally have lower social status than adults. Women generally have lower social status than men. Calling women ‘girls’ in a professional contexts suggests you view them as extremely low on the social ladder. It’s demeaning and belittling, and implies that they’re more naive and less competent than their male equivalents.

Some women get socialised to go along with this and only ever be nice and unthreatening in the workplace, even if it costs them personally and professionally, because shit like calling women girls pigeonholes grown women as all of the negative things society implies about very young women 24/7 – annoying, irrational, flighty, overly emotional.

Reducing some women’s status in this way can be harmful to all women – I’ve learned to be firm and icy enough at work that I don’t think anyone does this to me, but doing it to my peers devalues the status of a group that also contains me. It makes us all a bit more dismissable and disposable as a demographic.

I call my male colleagues out on this all the time and it feels like a sacred duty.

Discussion in context.

Chris Hedges Goes to a Porn Convention

The interviewer asks what condition her vagina and anus will be after having sex with that many men. She speaks of her body parts in the third person: “They can take it. They want it. They like it. They go back to size after. Pussy’s tight. She always goes back to size.” The degradation she endures has turned her body into something she no longer consciously recognizes as herself.

via The Rise of Gonzo Porn

Male Circumcision Reduces Female Pleasure

From Dr, Dean Edell:

A New Zealand study found that reduced female arousal and fewer female orgasms may be linked to women having sex with circumcised male partners. Women reported they were about twice as likely to experience orgasm if their male partner had a foreskin. Nine out of ten women prefer having sex with intact men, the study finds. [full story]

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Folsom Street Fair 2008

Alrighty it is time to write a blog post. I’ve been particularly negligent of my writing since we moved to San Francisco but have been trying to not guilt myself too much about that. But eventually you feel the anti-creative plaque hardening in my writing arteries and know that you have to gobble some mental oatmeal to get it all cleaned out.

We went to the 25th Annual Folsom Street Fair. I was surprised it is only for one day, it is on a Sunday and only lasts 7 hours. There were thousands of people though. One highlight included seeing a guy pop his load out of a second story window. He had on a hood and a jackstrap and was jerking his cock slowly as the crowd cheered, transfixed. He started to gush and the thonged throng went apeshit and then the big moneyshot – presumably sprayed on the eager mouths below – and much cheering and clapping.

We had seen a similar second-story load-popper during the Dore Alley festival. Ron would later deduce:

We’ve only been in San Francisco for 6 months and we’ve seen two guys pop their loads out a window. That’s an average of every three months.

We’ll have to be more alert come December.

Folsom was fun. I got to see pony-play for the first time live and some furries. Some slaves pulling rickshaws. Several bondage and whipping demonstrations.

I guess this stuff doesn’t seem that subversive to me anymore. On the way out we saw a guy blowing another guy and I thought: ‘Yeah, you’re so rebellious. You’re doing this against the Corona truck.’

Later in the evening booths of porn stars could be seeing plugging away.

It seems the women at Folsom are much more creative than the men.

Leather daddy usually boils down to chaps and straps but many of the women were decked out in all manner of corsets and finery.

One group was in their best Merchant-Ivory period wear with linen suits, dresses and parasols and called themselves the Prim & Proper Queer Tea Party:

All with a potpurri of pot smoke, sweaty leather, lite beer and chicken kabobs.

What I always find fascinating about the leather/BDSM scene/lifestyle is the amalgamation of biker chic, cowboy, Victorian age, Inquisition, punk and uniform fetish into a testament to the centrality and/or frivolity of sex. The over-sexualized, hyper-masculine style is aggressive at times, playful at others. Everybody gets to be fuck-able.

I didn’t think we’d be there for five hours so I didn’t slather on sunscreen. Six days later, I’m almost done peeling.

More conservative folk think that this is what San Francisco is like every single day of the year and that there are children walking around being traumatized. I only saw one person underage and it looked like a mom and kid that had taken a left turn at Alberquerqe and she told her daughter to look down while they made it through the crowd.

We did see the Sexiest Silver Fox in San Francisco again. Ron and I saw him on the train a couple months ago and I was entranced – sexy, silver and inked up. We see him every few weeks and here he is at Folsom:

Add to the list of Guys to Look Like When Older.

Transgender Man Becomes Pregnant

Thomas Beatie is was born a woman, but is now legally a married man. But his wife was not able to conceive so he discontinued his hormone treatments in order for them to have a child:

Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire. Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender.

The first doctor we approached was a reproductive endocrinologist. A few months and a couple thousand dollars later, he told us that he would no longer treat us, saying he and his staff felt uncomfortable working with ‘someone like me.”

When I finally got pregnant for the first time, I ended up having an ectopic pregnancy with triplets. It was a life-threatening event that required surgical intervention, resulting in the loss of all embryos and my right fallopian tube. When my brother found out about my loss, he said, ‘It’s a good thing that happened. Who knows what kind of monster it would have been.”

How does it feel to be a pregnant man? Incredible. Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am. In a technical sense I see myself as my own surrogate, though my gender identity as male is constant. To Nancy, I am her husband carrying our child—I am so lucky to have such a loving, supportive wife. I will be my daughter’s father, and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family.

Should Spitzer Resign?

They’re talking impeachment? Fucking impeaching of a state governor for seeing a sex worker? That’s as stupid as impeaching somebody for lying about a blowjob. Oh wait.

If he used tax-payer money to see the whores, then yeah that is a problem of integrity and that should be exposed. But a politican seeing a prostitute is about as common as well – a politician seeing a prostitute.

Don Lemon: How can a rising political star get caught in something so salacious?

Seeing a hooker is not salacious!

Survey Says: ‘Andy’s are 8th Most Hung

A survey conducted captured the perceived hung-ness of various men’s names.

Girls were asked to list the monikers which sounded most — and least — likely to belong to a well-packaged man. BIG NAMES: 1 Dave; 2 Paul; 3 Steve; 4 James; 5 Mark; 6 Robert; 7 Chris; 8 Andy; 9 Richard; 10 Dan. [Go Dad!] SMALL NAMES: 1 Ray; 2 Brian; 3 Nigel; 4 Frank; 5 Keith; 6 Jeremy; 7 Josh; 8 Barry; 9 Dennis; 10 Nick.