Andymatic

Category: Funnies

  • Barf

    uK65Dl.jpg (JPEG Image, 385×580 pixels).

  • Astro the Viking

    Astro and Downy just had another schoolgirl paw-slapping fight. Again, Astro pulls back a paw and he’s got a wad of Downy fur in in his claws (don’t worry: Downy is long hair and so remains unscathed). Astro then stares down Downy and eats Downy’s fur in front of him. That is some Viking, Vlad-the-Impaler, […]

  • #1 Tattoo Not to Have When Arrested

    Via Reddit. Original link. For those that need reading glasses. It says ‘Fuck the police.’

  • How Much Food Can a Hamster Fit in His Cheeks?

    [youtube]Ms3QdGIzltU[/youtube]

  • Gayest. IM. Evar.

    Andy: oh oh – the Junior Vasquez remix of [Britney Spears song] Piece of Me is quite good (pause) Sam: andy that is quite possibly the gayest thing you’ve ever said to me andy: Could be. gayer: I bought it on iTUnes. Sam: hahaha Andy: gayer: I listened to it at the gym. (pause) Andy: […]

  • US Automaker Halts Production of Neck Belts

    From The Onion archives in 1997: (click through for very funny photo) Chrysler Halts Production Of Neckbelts: “In the case of collision, it would appear that the neckbelts have a detrimental effect on overall passenger safety,” read a statement released by the company Monday. The recall, the most expensive in Chrysler’s history, goes into effect […]

  • Hitler Took Strychnine Pills for Chronic Farts

    Well this explains everything doesn’t it?   Spasmodic stomach cramps, constipation and diarrhea, possibly the result of nervous tension, had been Hitler’s curse since childhood and only grew more severe as he aged. As a stressed-out dictator, the agonizing digestive attacks would occur after most meals: Albert Speer recalled that the Führer, ashen-faced, would leap […]

  • Criss Angels Kicks Paranormalist John Callahan's Ass on Live TV

    Paranormalist? And why doesn’t the female assistant wearing a bra? Yeah. Metal. Rectangular. Four Wheels. Shame he didn’t divine the lead paint. Update: Is that Raven Simone? [youtube]pE45QHIUfiM[/youtube]

  • How Not to Pick Up Asian-American Women

    Via Angry Asian Man: 1) Where are you really from? “I really am from Texas, and I don’t care where your Asian ex-girlfriend was really from, either.” 2) Do you … speak any other languages? “Nice try. Unless we’re having a deep conversation about linguistics while the maitre d’ decants our Malbec, stop asking me […]

  • Bacon Call

    Ron: I’m making salmon and tilpia. Andy: Yes? Ron: Yes. I’m making feast. Andy: You’re making a feast. Ron: No. I’m making feast. … Andy: Why aren’t you going with me to Vegas? Ron: I have to work. I can’t always be at your bacon call.