Brandon Lee, Aaliyah and Brandy

(we’re watching the beginning of The Crow)

Andy: You know that Brandon Lee is Bruce Lee’s son.

Ron: No he is not!

Andy: Yes he is.

Ron: You know he got killed on the set.

Andy: Yes. He got shot by a gun that had blanks.

Ron: No, it wasn’t an accident.

Andy: Honey. Really.

Ron: No really. It’s just like Brandy. She got killed in that plane crash.

Andy: Brandy? (pause) You mean Aaliyah in that Vampire Interview movie.

Ron: No. Brandy’s dead.

Andy: Queen of the Damned.

Ron: Right.

Andy: That was Aaliyah. Brandy’s not dead. We just saw her on TV the other day. You’re thinking Aaliyah.

Ron: Wikipetey it!

Andy: I don’t have to.

(later)

Ron: Can I get a bridge on my nose?

Andy: No.

Ron: What if I got eye surgery to Westernize my eyes.

Andy: No.

Ron: I want to look like Jessica Simpson’s eyes. (stares at me wide eyed  and vacant)

Andy: Yeah. She always looks so surprised. Like Patrick Swayze’s eye lift.