Might as well put them all in one post:
National Treasure: Yes it is as awful as you suspected. Attempts to be Da Vinci Code swapping religious iconography with cloying patriotism. Never thought I’d hear the words Declaration of Independence so many times in one film. Sucks. Don’t rent it. Luckily we only paid 99 cents – but still that is time I’ll never get back. Don’t rent it. Even for ‘oh really it is terrible – it’ll be fun’ it isn’t even that bad. Don’t rent it.
War of the Worlds: Go read Ebert’s review. Yes – why incinerate those you will later consume? I will never believe Tom Cruise as a blue-collar worker. Too much ‘Dakota in Peril’. Great effects of course. Terrorism references subtle at times – overbearing at others. Tom Cruise being sucked up into a giant anal sphincter may cause trauma to young viewers.
Batman Begins: Much better than I suspected. Missed Elfman’s themes. Katie needs to go work on her Thetan status. Otherwise Bale, Freeman and Caine add an emotional core and charisma rarely seen in a comics films. True the director has little idea how to film an action sequence – but he gives great latitude to let actors do their stuff.
D.E.B.S.: Hokey of course but fun. Some funny jokes – but generally harmless. Charlie’s Angels with high school girls, short skirts and a great spy-girl-meets-villain-girl love story. Directed by minority lesbian director who was then sentenced to direct Herbie. Devon Aoki (silent but deadly asian assassin from Sin City) co-stars. Best joke:
I don’t want to spy on them.
You are a spy, dip shit.