Are You Sure?

From a thread about women who say they’ve never been catcalled, harrassed, or experienced any form of sexism:

“Are you sure? You’ve never been told you can’t play because you’re a girl?

Never been told your worth is in your virginity?

Never been told to “submit” to your husband, or ensure that you’re “pure” for him (even though you haven’t met him yet?) Never been blamed for not being submissive/pretty/etc. enough or not having been a virgin on your wedding night if this guy cheated on you or abused you?

Never made less than a man doing the same work at the same company?

Never been told to smile when you didn’t feel like it?

Never received crass comments from a car full of teenage boys?

Never been hit on while you’re working?

Never been groped by a patient? Or been mistaken for a nurse when in fact you’re a doctor?

Never been told not to use a title you earned, such as “Dr.” or “Rev.” because it might hurt some man’s ego?

Never had life choices concerning marriage or children questioned?

Never had your achievements ignored in favor of how you look?

Never been told that when a boy acts like a jerk it means he likes you?

Never been encouraged to leave your career for your kids even if that’s not what you want?

Never been made to feel that your worth is all in your looks?

Never watched your brothers get away with murder while Mom and Dad kept you on a tight leash?

Never been told by a doctor that it’s all in your head, or that it’s just part of womanhood, when you know that something’s wrong?

Never had some yutz you met less than an hour ago send you a picture of his dick?

Never been told “Tits or GTFO!” when you tried to play an online game?

Never been told you’re a fraud for wearing makeup and at the same time told you look terrible without it?

Never been leered at even though you were wearing a chunky sweater and a maxi skirt?

Never been told you’re too this or too that, or not this enough or not that enough?

Never been thought of as clueless at the mechanic or dealership?

Never been told you can’t be a minister/priest/etc. because you’re a woman?

Never been expected to do all the housework while your partner coasts along?

Never been taught that your wedding day is the pinnacle of your existence?

Never been told you can’t go to college, or denied financial help with college because of your sex?

Never been told you can’t move out before marriage while your younger brother goes backpacking through Europe by himself?

Never been denied a medical procedure because your future husband might disapprove, or “you might change your mind someday?”

Never had some dude turn ugly when you told him you didn’t want to go out?

Never felt unsafe going out at night by yourself?

Never been told that you’ll “invite trouble” or “distract the boys” by wearing certain things?

Never had some guy try to explain something to you that you already know and didn’t ask him to explain?

Never been told that you can’t make the first move because it’s “desperate” or “wrong?”

Never been told to stay with someone who’s treating you badly and just pray that you can be a better/more submissive wife?

Never been pressured to marry right out of high school?

Never been shamed for your sexual history or lack thereof?

Never been pressured to diet even though you’re perfectly healthy?

Never had to pay extra for a razor just because it’s pink?

Never been shamed for body hair, stretch marks, etc.?

Never been unable to take your shirt off on a hot summer’s day because doing so would be considered “obscene?”

Never been shamed for breastfeeding discreetly in public?

Never had your parenting authority questioned?

Never had your partner get praised for changing one diaper, while you’re expected to just do those things without expecting or receiving any such accolades?

Never been called “bossy” or “bitchy” just for speaking your mind, even though you weren’t bossy or bitchy about it?

Never had your leadership qualities dismissed as “OMG, she’s such a bitch!” while a man with those same qualities is “a born leader?”

Never been threatened implicitly or explicitly with rape?

Never been told you’re shallow for turning down a man you’re not physically attracted to, even though “lack of physical attraction” is a totally valid reason for him to turn you down?

Yeah…okay. Sure. Whatever.”

Link/context.

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About Andy

Gay Hoosier Taurus INFJ ex-playwright pianist gymbunny published author in San Francisco. Tw · Fb

One thought on “Are You Sure?

  1. Barb Elgin

    Sweetheart thank you for posting this list. It shows you take time to understand the viewpoint of many women’s experiences.

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