Advocate

Though I’m not focusing on the life coaching end of things right now I still keep in contact with many coaches and coach-y types. One of them sent me a list of the top reasons I need to break through my small conceptions of what I can do and what I can be:

1. Andy has way too much talent not being shared with all of us.
2. Andy has a great personality.
3. Andy has an entertaining sense of humor.
4. Andy likes cats.
5. Andy is extremely intelligent and is not fulling sharing that with others.
6. Andy is kind and considerate of others.
7. Andy can easily be making a 6 to 7 figure income (that’s without decimal points — whole numbers/integers!)
8. Andy has experience in acting/stage/music and the stage is wide open right now.  He is welcomed to step in the center any time he wishes.  And, when did you say that would be Mr. Wibbels?
9. Andy wants to make a difference in the world (and is) — but he could be doing even more!
10. Andy has a kind heart and good intentions.  And, that is, by far,  the most important quality he has.  That is why he needs to play the really big game in life.  The world is waiting for Andy …  and that would be YOU.

I think that is a key difference when trying to compare coaches and therapists – coaches are an advocate for your greatness – therapists less so – and I am totally not knocking the amazing work that therapists do everyday. Therapy seems to be about learning to get by – to get functioning at full potential. Coaching seems to say ‘Okay, you’ve gotten the therapy stuff out of the way – let’s get into your greatness.’

True, friends can be this function but it can sound sappy or contrived. With a coach – it it their job – that is why you hire them. To give you a perspective on your shitty week that in grand scheme is a quantum hiccup. Of course, this is still a bit of a fruity definition and not hugely marketable when trying to get non-self-help types to consider a coach – but another step.

Anyway, I thought it was plum goodness that this coach/friend emailed me a list of what I wasn’t keeping mindful of. I especially trip over the money issues. Could I make a six figure income doing stuff that I love with people that are fun and I am truly joyous, content and laughing all the time? But it isn’t even that – there are underlying self-worth dynamics at work. I have people telling me my talents and abilities on a frequent basis with the courses I teach and the work that I do – who has to say it before I truly believe it?

I often rail on self-esteem for it’s own sake instead of the more logical self-esteem as a product of achievements – but what happens when you have accomplished some pretty amazing stuff and you still don’t feel plum?

Maybe it is just mood swings. I try to remind myself that how I feel about things isn’t necessarily the truth of what things really are. That is something that is always frustrating about depression is you feel it clouds your perspective just enough to drive you a little batty at times.

Anyway – I was talking to Tara the other day and she and I were covering similar topics.

We usually try to connect once every other week or so and chew the fat. She reminds me of my sister in that she asks the rude questions my sister usually ask. Stuff like: "Have you thought about getting a day job? You totally could command a high salary especially with (the secret thing I haven’t revealed yet)." My sister is usually the one that asks the ‘Hey dumbass’ obvious questions. Usually she’s running recon for my parents… mom’ll drop the caveat ‘I’ve got to do my mom-thing… do you have health insurance, yet?’ (Answer: Still on COBRA, liver profile for me to file an appeal is due back tomorrow). Anyway Tara had me realizing just how tiny I think sometimes and said:

You need to stop hiding in your apartment and behind your blog and get out there.

I think it is a 30s thing – I still find myself in the mindset of ‘I just got out of school and moved to Chicago… I don’t know anything about anything… ‘…when I’ve been working in HR, elearning and online marketing for over 7 years.’ I told her I was going to journal on this stuff so I’m going to do some freewriting on this for an hour or so…

I’m gonna jump into Michael’s Book Yourself Solid program in a few weeks and make that my summer coaching project. I’m finding I get a bigger kick out of group coached programs lately because I am able to network while I’m doing the work.

In other news, sold 4 ebooks in the past two days. It is sort of neat to get purchases from people you don’t necessarily know. That they are usually ezine subscribers so they’ve had time to get to know me (and I always link to my personal blog so they can even sample the uncensored Andy).