Achey Breaky Shoulders

It is Thursday. The food poisoning subsided 2 days ago but I’m still taking charcoal and acidophilus to be safe. The achiness in my joints has moved from my lower back to my shoulders. Ron worked at 3 today.

I officially apologized to Ron yesterday. I know it is a bit formal but I wanted to ‘do it right’. Right before he left I hugged him and said:

“I want to apologize for yelling at you on Monday night. I was frustrated with all the stuff I have to do and snapped at you and none of that is your fault. I’m very sorry and I love you.”

He accepted my apology with the coda: “That’s the third time you’ve done that.” I of course spent the next few hours sorting through the last five years trying to remember the other two occasions that I lost my temper with him. I think 3 times over five years is pretty damn good.

I’ve been very crabby lately. I think I’m ‘over-socialized.’ Between the conference and the party and teh conference next week, I’m feeling a bit kharmically claustrophboic. It’s that feeling where you don’t feel pressure under your skin, you feel a light push on your skin from all sides and all directions.

Turns out Ron’s niece, nephew and brother-in-law were still sick even yesterday. That is so terrible. As Kevin headlined it: ‘Families ‘ruined’ by success!’ I still think it was the cake.

I had a bit of a brainstorm yesterday when I was walking around with Ron trying to decide what to do for dinner. We were going to see the Bettie Page movie but instead ate sushi at Eatzi’s – this didn’t satisfy his sushi tooth so we went to Nohana and ate a 10 piece platter together. And got our hairs cut. I feel so much better since I got my haircut. Still don’t have my teeth bleached or my new tattoos – I’m a bit behind in the summer transformicifcation (that’s a Ron malaprop: ‘transformification’).

Anyway the brainstorm is that maybe my time with Ron is supposed to be unstructured free time.

I know – it is obvious, staring me in the face the last several years but still.

What if the structure for Ron-time is simpy ‘This afternoon, with Ron.’ or ‘Tonight with Ron’? And the rest is open-ended?

I know this reeks of ‘be the change you wish to see’ or Tao of Pooh but you know what I’m going after. Meanwhile, my evil side considers:

‘Why can’t Ron make his time with me ‘structured time’? Why do I always have to be accomodating?’ (implied sentiment: ‘Why oh why can’t the world revolve around ME-ME-ME for a change?’)

I bet you could ask any relationship on the planet and ask either person/partner who is the most accomodating and they will all say ‘I am.’ We all have that list of ‘All I’ve done for you!’ this is usually appended with ‘And this is the thanks I get?!’

Bit, I digest/digress/regress.

Hey everybody: don’t forget to pay rent/mortgate.

Book deal #2 is in waiting. Book deal #3 is in floatie stage. Tara is funny: reminded me that I rewrote my book in 2 weeks so she multiplied that out to 24 books a year. That isn’t including stimulants or sedatives.

We hadn’t watched American Idol so we watched the ‘nothing happens’ results show last night. America once again proves it’s tin ear by casting off Paris, the best technician and performer in the final five. They still have that dorkus with the goattee (not Chris, the other one).

My wrists are achey too.

The laptop has had a great deal of trouble lately with spyware and whatnot. I’m going to have to reinstall Windows on it. Which SUCKS. I even bought Norton and they can’t clean up the Trojan. Windows can go to hell. I’m moving to Mac 24-7. I keep swearing that my current hardware is the last Windows machines I’m ever buying ever again. Probably by the time this stuff breaks down Linux will be even more ready for prime-time.

I notice that I have a Fun Deficit lately. Work feels like work. Getting up gets me down. I’m not fully appreciating my cat. Or family. Or Ron. Like I said: I’m over-socialized. I feel like I’m ‘reacting’ to thing around me with very little ‘plan of attack’ in the hopper.

I have to throw out all the leftover food from Sunday too which is a shame.

I might spend a half hour in the steam room today to sweat out the proverbial toxins.

I have got to get my driver’s license renewed today. And wash laundry for the New York trip next week.

My latest dorkyness is I’m constructing some WordPress templates totally from scratch (or as Ron would say ‘from my scratch’). I want to make the ‘perfect’ template semantically and see how well I can shoehorn in my favorite plugins.

If you haven’t watched Stephen Colbert’s tear into the White House and the entire media establishment you really must. I listened to the entire thing last night – I hadn’t heard this one:

I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit. In fact, Ambassador Zhou Wenzhong, welcome. Your great country makes our Happy Meals possible. I said it’s a celebration.

I recommend listening to it rather than watching it so you can hear which jokes fall to silence and which get laughs.

Sidenote to the non-political-junkies: Helen Thomas is considered ‘the first lady of the American Press’ and has been in the front row at White House press conferences since 1961 – she usually gets the honor of the first question and her voice is the one you hear right at the end saying ‘Thank you, Mr. President.’ (also in many White House movies). After asking tough questions of Chimpy McSmirks in 2003, she was moved to the back of the room. She’s been quoted as saying Bush is the worst president in the history of the United States and has said of a Cheney Presidency, ‘The day I say Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I’ll kill myself. All we need is one more liar.’ Helen Thomas is that surly aunt that reams out your slutty and brutish cousins at the 4th of July picnic. She’s too old to care about being polite and can clean and filet a politician in 15 seconds. Love her. I think it is so awesome she co-starred in Colbert’s ‘press conference audition tape.’

A few of Colbert’s jokes made my mouth drop open because they were so vicious, so snide, so snarky and so perfectly directly – and so silently received. Bravo. All the while he kept his persona, kept his cool and kept going.

5 thoughts on “Achey Breaky Shoulders

  1. DANNY O'BRYAN

    Relationships have highs and lows….Love is the stuff that makes the relationship move.Your are a business man.Structure and displine will give you more control.Lossing your temper is the kick that keeps your business going.Some times you need peole that can compliment your energy.The relationship should be Ron and Andy not Ron or Andy……Danny

  2. Geoman

    I know it sounds trite and over used but it’s true — “love and be loved” Focus on Ron — when’s the last time you brought him his favorite flowers or planned a complete surprise for him (& centered on his favorite things – to do – to eat – to listen to ) — be outrageous & out of character – plan it, but let it be fun for you in planning it and seeing his delight … focus on him — the other stuff will take care of itself.

  3. Brooks

    It could have been something as innocuous as the person setting out the dishes not washing his hands and spreading the stomach virus to every glass or plate. It could have been in the ice for the drinks. It could have been on the door handle to the restaurant. I didn’t know that some of Ron’s family was sick now, so that seems to localize it to the party. I was in bed for 36 hours, and while I came close, I never threw up.

  4. sam

    We have a tendency to want to be served, and sometimes subconsciously treat relationships as businesses where we aim to profit.

Comments are closed.