6 Ways to Ruin A Date In Just 5 Words

1. Wow, you’re fatter in person.
2. I write erotica for children.
3. I can smell your ass.
4. Anyone else know you’re here?
5. You decided to wear that?
6. Oh shit, that’s my wife.

Full list http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2s7pdq/how_can_you_ruin_a_date_with_just_5_words/

Image from the double date scene from The Fisher King.