Andymatic

Month: September 2009

  • Attorney: Oklahoma City Bomb Tapes Appear Edited

    “The real story is what’s missing,” said Jesse Trentadue, a Salt Lake City attorney who obtained the recordings through the federal Freedom of Information Act as part of an unofficial inquiry … “Four cameras in four different locations going blank at basically the same time on the morning of April 19, 1995. There ain’t no […]

  • Wheaties Fuel is the Axe Body Spray of Breakfast Cereals

    Independent studies have shown that eating a cereal out of a box with, for example, Kristi Yamaguchi’s face on it actually causes the penis to retract inside the body—and then there’s insidious folic acid, proven to grow breasts and an abnormally strong interest in True Blood in lab animals. The new Wheaties Fuel finally leaves […]

  • Katie Couric's Annual Salary Compared to NPR Programs

    That’s a lot of NOVAs: While doing some recent research on the news business, I came upon this remarkable fact: Katie Couric’s annual salary is more than the entire annual budgets of NPR’s Morning Edition and All Things Considered combined. Couric’s salary comes to an estimated $15 million a year; NPR spends $6 million a […]

  • TARP Inspector Neil Barofsky, TARP Inspector: We May Now Be In A "Far More Dangerous Place"

    His next audit is due in October. During an interview with the Huffington Post Investigative Fund, Barofsky made some striking observations. Among them were: 1. He found hundreds of banks capable of tracking their use of the TARP money – despite claims by the U.S. Treasury that the task was impossible. 2. If the purpose […]

  • UPS Degrades Their Brand – Now Delivers Bonus Junk Mail Packages

    “We did some focus-group research and it really indicated that people were receptive to receiving offers from U.P.S.,” Ms. Lynn said. “What we heard was, ‘If U.P.S. brings it to me, it’s not junk.’ ” Still, the company is taking several steps to try to ensure that a Direct to Door Pak is received more […]

  • Congratulations, You're Pregnant With The Wrong Baby

    Imagine waiting anxiously to hear whether your latest round of in vitro fertilization has resulted in a pregnancy after years of failures. Then you receive a call from your doctor: you are indeed pregnant, but the wrong embryos were transferred. Now you’re an unwilling surrogate for another family. via Medical Mistakes: Congratulations, You’re Pregnant! …With […]

  • Man Sues Bank Of America For $1.78 Trillion Billion Dollars

    Dalton Chiscolm has sued Bank of America and its board, and wants “1,784 billion, trillion dollars” in return for being subjected to what the judge describes as “inconsistent information from a ‘Spanish womn’ [sic]” as well as allegedly misrouted checks. In addition, Chiscolm wants another $200,164,000 in damages. We’re not sure why that amount is […]

  • Half of the Mortgage Market was a Criminal Enterprise

    From Matt Taibbi: This is a potentially gigantic story. It seems that a court has ruled that about half of the mortgage market has been run as a criminal enterprise for years, which would invalidate any potential forelosure proceedings for about, oh, 60 million mortgages. The court ruled that the electronic transfer system used by […]

  • FDIC Is Broke

    Bair, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.’s chairman since 2006, says the agency has many options. One way to boost its coffers, now running low after a surge in bank failures, would be to charge banks higher premiums. It could make them pay future assessments in advance. Alternatively, the FDIC could borrow money from the banks […]

  • Nelly Arcan on Smurfette and Feminity

    Nelly Arcan (RIP) on femininity: As for the term “Smurfette,” in the cartoon, she’s the only female in the village. She’s pretty and blonde, wears high heels and a little white dress. Every other Smurf has personality traits, but Smurfette is characterized only by the fact that she is feminine, her life goal is to […]