Monthly Archives: May 2005

Steve Gillard on Chickenhawks

(via Kos)

Unless you’re disabled, you have no fucking right encouraging others to die in your stead. If you weren’t cowards, you’d be in the military, not whining about Kosovo or some other bullshit. The Army’s recruiting isn’t getting any better, and they need YOU. Not the kid from Wal Mart, not the ROTC grad. They need war supporters to take this seriously and walk away from their lives to serve their country directly.

But that won’t happen. Because they are cowards. They hide behind the bravery of others and use it as a shield to deflect criticism. “Why if you attack my views, you don’t support the soldiers.”

My reply to that is “fuck you, gutless bitch.” I’ve never heard a soldier run behind civilians to defend the war, so why are you hiding behind them.

Nader Calls for Impeachment

Taking a cue from the Downing Street memo, Ralph Nader and Kevin Zeese suggest addressing the ‘I word’:

It is time for Congress to investigate the illegal Iraq war as we move toward the third year of the endless quagmire that many security experts believe jeopardizes US safety by recruiting and training more terrorists. A Resolution of Impeachment would be a first step. Based on the mountains of fabrications, deceptions, and lies, it is time to debate the ”I” word.

United Employee’s Letter to Tilton and Company

Ron and I ran into some flight attendants 2 nights ago and one of them was sniping that if he ever ran into Glenn Tilton on a flight that he wouldn’t serve him.

I wouldn’t serve the motherfucker. I’d trip on purpose and pour coffee on him and burn the motherfucker.

Jimmy McBean has a letter from another pissed off UAL employee:

You are nothing less than thieving, lying, marauding corporate Pirates, pretending to be astute businessmen dressed in suits. You hang around for a few years, destroy our futures, degrade and abuse all who work for the good of the company, collect your bonuses and disappear with your golden parachutes. What is amazing is the fact YOU are never accountable nor is it ever YOUR fault when your own decisions are disastrous.

Screw Up

And the day was going smashingly. I had a fantastic call with Richard, producer of Yeast Radio – my podcasting couse participants quizzed him on all sorts of stuff. The recording got botched and is totally fucked and I’m trying to reconstruct the details from my notes. I was so very angry. But I know that I can’t change the reality of a screwup like this.

But listening to Madge is making me mellow out a bit. “I gotta find a fuckin’ McDonald’s – I need to feed my fat.”

Later on Madge: “That’s why I like EMO music. Eat me out music.”

Update: One of my participants taped the call for her own usage (perfectly allowable). Hopefully she can FedEx the tape to me in the next day or so. Whew!

Shorn Again

It is Monday night and you’re feeling sort of squirrely.

You’ve had a 3-day weekend and finished watching the Miss Universe Pageant with Ron (did you see Miss Venezuela stumble on her Q & A – WOW!). And you’re heading home.

And you start thinking about shaving your head.

Ron says that you shouldn’t because you have a weird shaped head. Yet, he always ogles guys that are head-shaven.

And before you know it you have the clippers in hand and you’re doing the #4. The hair is falling down into the sink and you think maybe this is some kind of ‘summer’s here’ renewal or ‘beginning June’ meme.

#4 goes well so you do #3 and before you know it you’ve got the #1 clippers on the trimmers and suddenly your head feels ten times lighter.

“Like a space monkey.”

Andy, shaved head.

Andy, shaved head.

And you can’t wait to surprise Ron who is gone for three days. Unless he reads this first.

And when you are doing your workout this morning you see a different man in the mirror and that seems to give you a fun sense of displacement.

Sunlight on your scalp feels so strange.

Excedrine for Racial Tension Headaches

I saw this weeks ago on a re-run of Saturday Night Live – looking for a video of it now. It was an Excedrine commercial with Queen Latifah:

Do I get stress headaches at work? Yes, definitely. From the moment I get in, it’s “Denise, we need this,” “Denise we need that.” Which is stressful, because my name is Linda. Denise is the other black woman that works here. By 10 a.m., someone in the copy room makes a joke about kobe Bryant, and everyone looks at me to make sure it’s okay. And I smile like it’s okay, but, really, my head and neck are starting to throb. Then I spend the rest of the afternoon training my interns and answering their questions, like, “Yes, black people use shampoo,” and “No, I don’t know any good reggae clubs around here,” and “Yes, Condoleeza Rice is very articulate, why do you sound so surprised?” And, “No, I can’t tell you where to buy weed!”

[ holds up product ]

And that’s when I reach for.. Excedrin. New Excedrin for racial tension headaches. Excedrin R.T. works fast. Taking me from “Oh no you didn’t!” to “I wish the motherfucker would!”

Volunteer Lawyers Flock to Guantanamo

Great news on a Monday:

In the last few months, the small commercial air service to the naval base at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, has been carrying people the military authorities had hoped would never be allowed there: American lawyers…. An important ingredient in accomplishing that, he and other military officials at the base said, was isolation from the outside world. The arrival of defense lawyers at Guantánamo is an irreversible disruption of that isolation. The lawyers represent the detainees’ access not only to federal courts but also to the international news media; the only other authorized visitors, foreign officials and representatives of the Red Cross, do not generally speak publicly about the detainees.