My Bally’s membership turned three years old this month. And for customers of the draconian company, that is indeed a milestone. Now my membership dues are waved and my membership is free! Free! Free!
Except for a small monthly maintenance fee.
What kind of stupid bullshit is that? I knew about the monthly fee long before but I think it is incredibly dishonest when they market it like you get a lifetime membership for free. It is like when a lifetime guarantee on an appliance isn’t your lifetime – it is the appliance’s lifetime.
Before Bally’s I was at Crunch, which Bally’s bought a few years ago. I moved to Bally’s after Ron and I met since my Crunch was expiring. Ah, memories.
I thought that gay-marriage episode of The Simpsons was a total cop-out – not as bad as the Joe Millionaire false-ending cop-out but more along the lines of a Chris Carter X-Files ‘end of one season tease to movie and then not answer anything and tease to next season and still not answer anything’ cop-out. The best line was:
Marge: As long as two people love each other I don’t care if they have the same hoo hoo or ha ha.
Nelson: (suddenly appearing from offscreen) Ha ha!
I thought I would list my favorite Nelson Ha-Has.
- Ha ha – your mom changed. (Marge becomes a body builder)
- Ha ha – you’re nocturnal. (Nelson sees bats at the zoo)
- Ha ha – you’ve been usurped! That’s right, I said usurped. (Something with Principal Skinner, I believe)
- (To the tune of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony) Ha-ha-ha-HA! Ha-ha-ha-HA! (History lesson with Bart as Mozart, Lisa as Salieri and Nelson as Ludwig Van)
Willy: No! That’s my retirement fat!
Chicago Police have busted an employee of the Howard Brown Center – one of the major (and acclaimed) gay outreach centers in the city – for dealing crystal meth. I hope this doesn’t tarnish Howard Brown’s image – I hold them in huge esteem for their response to HIV for everybody in the city as well as a commitment to the overall mental health of the Boystown crowd.
Anderson, 44, was arrested Wednesday afternoon at Howard Brown Health Center in the 4000 block of North Sheridan after Town Hall District police raided his Lake View home and found 109 grams of meth worth about $36,000, authorities said.
Dear Chicago Police: Really serious about the meth problem? Do some strategic frisking at Fireball this weekend and I bet you’ll make a ton of arrests (as well as be criticized for targeting gays).
Low-hanging fruit, people. Heh: fruits.