Andymatic

Month: June 2004

  • Disgraced Over Allegations, Ryan Quits

    Illinois Republicans do a little cannibalistic damage control: USATODAY: Jack Ryan to abandon Senate bid. Can you see ex-wives everywhere smirking?

  • Weapons of Mass Cuteness

    The only thing more entertaining than surfing online personals ads for arousal and derision is the newest site I’ve found for some hot kitty porn. I’m talking of course of PetFinder.org. Type in you ZIP and say what kind of animal your looking for and back pop dozens of cuddly mammals in need of a […]

  • Possible New Digs

    Keep your fangers crossed. I have an application in for a new apartment – and I’m asking the landlord to drop $50 off the rent if I say I’ll move in for August 1st. We’ll see… I looked at five places today and this one was the last one and I knew it was the […]

  • Complaint Filed Against Penis-Pumping Judge

    An Oklahoma judge had a complaint filed against him when a lawyer realized that pumping sound coming from the bench was the judge using a penis pump. Now that’s multi-tasking.

  • Rooibus Royale

    I had a friend who grew up in South African proclaim Rooibus teas the ultimate tea to drink. The tea is from a select genus of plants that are only grown in a small area near Cape Town. It’s a legume! The Rooibus teas contain no caffeine and the harvesting process is completely free of […]

  • Michael Moore's Really Fat!

    Can we dispense with the Michael Moore fat jokes? There’s enough room for criticism besides making donut jokes. Fat jokes are the ultimate ‘easy reach’ of humour. And yes, I’ve read some of Christopher Hitchens’ screed on Moore – though I’m waiting to ingest criticism until I’ve actually seen the film – which most online […]

  • Michael Moore's Really Fat!

    Can we dispense with the Michael Moore fat jokes? There’s enough room for criticism besides making donut jokes. Fat jokes are the ultimate ‘easy reach’ of humour. And yes, I’ve read some of Christopher Hitchens’ screed on Moore – though I’m waiting to ingest criticism until I’ve actually seen the film – which most online […]

  • Bush on Torture, June 2003

    Keeping this tacked to the bulletin board: (thanks RoguePlanet) Freedom from torture is an inalienable human right. The Convention Against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment, ratified by the United States and more than 130 other countries since 1984, forbids governments from deliberately inflicting severe physical or mental pain or suffering on those […]

  • A Little Hey-Hey

    I can’t get a phrase from The Simpsons out of my head. I think it’s the episode where Bart is being stalked by a dog and befriends an aging cowboy. Anyway there’s some reference to sex and Homer declares: There’s nothing wrong with a little hey-hey! Say it out loud in Homer’s voice and I […]

  • Politicians Crown Ex-Con Messiah

    This is outrageous. A gala meeting at a Senate office building invited 100 “honorees” were invited to receive “International Crowns of Peace”, only to watch the Reverend Sun Yung Moon of the Unification Church claim the awards for himself. Highlights include Illinois Danny K. Davis crowning the ex-con (and owner of the Washington Times and […]