Monthly Archives: May 2003

Phoenix Files

The Memory Hole has copies of documents describing the Phoenix Program – a Vietnam-era program “aimed at ‘neutralizing’?through assassination, kidnapping, and systematic torture?the civilian infrastructure that supported the Viet Cong insurgency in South Vietnam. It was This entry was posted in General on by .

Shpring Cleeneen

I sometimes wonder how people that work at Fox News Chicago can sleep at night considering the everlasting network handjob their news broadcasts are. Thank God American Shithole is over – every night, Fox news would furiously masturbate the daily events as they unfolded. It became a self-supplying, closed system – we find the contestants and exploit them for their talents, unmask their faults (and criminal histories) and then crucify them on national television, all the while shoe-horning those bulletins in between the latest ‘Lone Black Man’ violence alerts. I guess I’d feel better if I could get other newschannels besides Fox. And another thing – someone needs to hear those asshats a voice coach. ‘Tomorrow expect some more SHtorms.’ ‘He died of a SHtroke.’ ‘neighbors reported a SHtrange smell.’ That and the weekened weatherman is one heartbeat away from stroking out right there on camera (reminds me of watching Mike Wallace decay on 60 Minutes) and Walter Jacobsen seems hellbent on terrorizing the municipality with his over-hyped Woody Allen broadcasts. And they are always hyping up any movies Fox seems to be releasing for the coming weekend.

Ron’s buddies are in for a week – so I spent the weekend with them and am glad to be home alone for tonight and not going out.

The final episode of 24 was pretty tight. You could take one episode of that series and it would have more plot points and twists and turns than some movies. The obsessed fans at TelevisionWithOutPity were overjoyed to see the comeback of super-nude plane jumping lesbian Mandy in the last sixty seconds of the final episode. I keep wondering if they are going to make the third season a continuation of the second season. The ending seemed too good to just say ‘six months later’ and start another twenty-four hours. Ron and I were squirming in our seats as usual. I think we might watch the first and second seasons back to back this summer. That’d be so awesome!

I almost got hit by a car last night. Ron and I were walking home across Belmont on Halsted. The light turned green. The sign turned to the white walking guy. We start walking. An oncoming car is turning left and doesn’t slow into the turn to wait for us. Scared the shit out of me. I was ready to jump on the windshield. Certainly woke me up. Shit. She woman was calling out ‘Oh my God! I’m so sorry! Are you alright! I’m so sorry!’ I just kept walking. I’ve still got shins. Ron was smart and flash-memorized the license plate of the car.

I stretched out my feet as instructed before getting up this morning and it seemed to do the trick. My heel didn’t hurt very much at all.

A new report has come out saying that Chicago drivers are assholes. I’m so surprised. People here drive like idiots. They don’t slow down for pedestrians. I thought this before the near accident last night.

Ron and friends and I went to the bathhouse last night. It was packed. There is so much money made in that neighborhood any time there’s a big event like IML. I liken the bathhouse to a mall – annoying slow moving white people. Only in this case they’re just wearing towels. Eeek. I get so bored there so easily. I did like just sitting in the hot tub people watching. At one point garish flourescent lights went on and the music stopped. ‘Attention Gentlemen, the Chicago Police Department is here to do a routine inspection. If you have a room we ask you to go there and close the door. Otherwise please proceed to the locker room and remain there until otherwise instructed.’ It was like cockroaches under light. Many people threw their clothes on and exited the building – leaving their IDs and valuables in the lockboxes. We stood there for about 15 minutes. I told Ron there was not a stiff dick in the whole building – nobody was talking or anything. Probably a safety inspection – super-big after the E2 nightlub fire disaster. They left. Ron and I soon after.

_____’s marriage finally imploded this week when her husband told her he’d slept with someone else and made out with one of her best friends. They were planning on returning home to live with their parents for a few months before moving on and having a separation period to sort out their already rocky marriage. But it’s all gone now – she’s filing for divorce in the coming week. Saw her today and she’d gone to Ulta to get new hair and skin care products to presumably recreate her self and defoliate the week’s events.

The hazing case up here is just totally insane. I still don’t understand what the school board has to do with any of this (this was not a school function) these kids should be turned over to the police. Fuck ’em. If they were black or latino kids they would have been thrown in jail no question. But since it’s rich white kids – and girls – there is so much pause given. crazy. Kids everyday do this kind of bullshit on the south side as a gang rite every weekend and no one says dick.

Yay – summer’s coming which means one thing – West Nile virus. The news is already trumpeting another summer of terror. I can’t wait until there’s a SARS case on this side of the border. People will freak the hell out.

I love the IBM commercials with the cubicle-drones in therapy. The one where the woman is in a meeting floating in the ocean and screams ‘IS ANYBODY LISTENING TO ME!!’ is me in meetings.

‘Cuz I’m your lady…’

‘Oh baby baby just give me one more chance…’

‘Since the day I met yoooo…’

I’m so programmed.


I finally got responsible and went to the doctor today for my foot – you know, the stress fracture I got last July that the doctors delayed so long with X-rays and bone scans that by the time they were ready to treat me I didn’t have insurance anymore even though I could have had insurance when I went part time if stupid HR dumbfuck hadn’t screwed me over). She took pity on my insurance-less-ness (Blue Cross Blue Shielf just received my application) and didn’t charge me. She said that it’s probably plantar fasciits – which Brigitte has. She’ll send me to a sports clinic once I’m insured. I’ve been looking it up online and the symptoms look like exactly what I’ve been experience. Morning tightness in the arch and pain in the heel. Read how important it is to stretch the feet before I get out of bed in the morning and that I should wear shoes that don’t make my toes curl to grip the sole.

Also got back on Zoloft today. I’d gone off of it a few months ago but I noticed that I don’t have a job right now and I am not really getting a lot of my to do list done all the time and I have this perverse glee in watching things pile up and apathy at the entropy that things seem to take on. Like you almost enjoy watching your life become disorganized and ho-hum, doesn’t it all just suck? So we’re back on the meds starting today. Probably take about 2 weeks to start trigging my brain and get my serotonin levels back to par.

Went to the Palmer House today to see Intenrnational Mister Leather – the gay leather event in the world held every year in Chicago – celebrating it’s 25th anniversary. I’d left my driver’s license in my jeans from the night before so after I had to taxi back home and back downtown to get in – talk about rage – I felt so fucking stupid and angry. Three floors of booths and boutiques reminded me of the crafts fairs we used to go to as a kid except instead of selling handwoven rugs, these guys are selling chainmail loincloths and dogtags that say, ‘TOILET’. And tons and tons of leather fetish gear. I’m always amazed at the amalgam of motifs: police, military, medieval, motorhog and bondage. And how those evolved and joined to create the leather fetish set.

It Burns, It Burns

I think the most comforting aspect of American Idol is when they show them doing a group number – like on this finale – and even with a huge auditorium and big-ass production they still look as hokey and hackneyed as we did in high school with our swing choir. That was probably one thing I probably would not have done if I had to do it all over again. It was the crew that was in our fall play and spring musical and holiday group for kids/elderly. Yeah – we had blue shiny vests and bowties. Eeek! Heh heh. I think Clay’s got it though.

I reflect on the amazing genius of the Idol concept because it easily plugs so easily into so many media: TV, music, online, movies and wireless/cellphone.


Ron said that towards the end of the second World War, many Japanese retreated to the Phillipines and that one way to weed them out was to make them say the word ‘lollypops’. Taglog, with it’s part Spanish root has the L-sound in it’s phonetic set – harder for Japanese speakers who would probably come out with Rah-ree-pops. And that’s why Filipinos refer to Japanese as such. Every once in a while he tells me some great gem like that – I totally love that stuff.


American Idol is finally winding down. Note to self: don’t start watching it until the final four. Because now even 3 out of the 4 can sing. Josh the Marine cannot sing. He’s dumpy and has no personality. I’m pulling for Rueben and Clay. Kimberly threw the show last night with some really shitty song choices that didn’t show off her range. I’m trying to figure out how they’re going to dream up a movie for Clay and Rueben (similar to the one they’re gonna ram through the country in a few weeks with Justin and Kelly).

24 on the other hand was pretty good. I think Penny Johnson Herald – I think that’s her name – that plays Sherri Palmer is just fantastic. So wonderful to see such great writing – especially for a black woman’s role – she’s the best ‘ambitious wife’ role since Macbeth. I think that that is so refreshing – that David Palmer’s troubles have nothing to do with his ethnicity. The ending with Kim back at where she started was great – but I still wonder if it’s going to connect back to everything else. I have such faith the writers will have it amplify what has already been happening.

Don’t you love how Clay Aiken does that ‘they really like me’ feigned surprise at each decision point in the song.

I think Paula Abdul could look at a pile of turtle turds on a plate and tell it, ‘you just keep getting better and better every week and you’re just fantastic!’ Christ.

Did 90210 really reflect an entire generation? Christ. I guess I missed out.

Saw a chiropractor today – the one at the gym. Got an adjustment. He says it looks like my right arch is falling. Put in an application for medical insurance tonight – I need to get my right ankle x-rayed soon (stress-fracture last fall). I miss running.

Going home tomorrow night – it’s a double wedding weekend. One on Friday night – one on Saturday afternoon. I think the first one will be trying since it’s a big Catholic family affair. Saturday’s deal should be good – it’s a barbecue.

Hazed Confused

You may have heard of the distrastrous hazing incident of at a girls football game where one of the girls received 15 stitches in her head, one has a broken ankle, and another girl suffered hearing loss and one of the girls who was force-fed excrement now has a bacterial infection. Reaction on Metafilter has had some great postings including:

“My high school had this. I never saw a teacher step in. The lesson I learned from it was that violence and subjugation are part of the system because those in authority want it that way. Bullies proliferate because their behavior is part of the atmosphere those in authority need to do their job. Authority needs fear of violence.”

Hatchett Job

I think I’ve had a crush on Judge Hatchett ever since I saw her in a sleek cocktail dress on the NAACP awards on TV. Ron and I like to watch her totally unload on delinquent kids and parents. I love her opening sequence of her show where she says: ‘Don’t make me get off this bench.’ And last week she unleashed on a teen skank with: ‘Get her out of here before I jump down and slap her.’ I also feel there is a lot of heart behind her interventions – aka ‘reality checks’. She staged a drug bust on this asshole kid who mumbled through his harelip that he might indeed change his ways.

Ron and I re-rented Margaret Cho’s movies the past two nights. She is just so damned funny. I find different things funny each time – this time when she says ‘I wanted to be thin like The Friends. WHY CAN’T I BE THE FRIENDS!’

We also rented Swimfan which is as awful as you’ve imagined. It was bad. Wow.

Also on the viewing list was Cecil B. Demented which re-awoke my inner artistic guerilla. I still have never seen any of John Waters’s opuses (opi?). I always read more about movies and theories than actually seeing them. Same thing with my hero, Mr. Alfred Hitchcock.

I have been very complacent lately. Lifeless. Apathetic. Sometimes I think I should go back on Zoloft but then I right a journal or rage and dis-satisfaction and I feel fine a few hours later.

Ron’s teeth-grinding is driving me batty. I am sending him to sleep at his own home tonight – between the snoring and the grinding teeth I can’t get to sleep. I turn on the box fan on high trying to drown it out – and I got the aquarium pump bubbling as well but it doesn’t block out the noise.

Group coaching at the gyms has been pretty pedestrian. I do have two gals that show up every week on Sundays and I have enjoyed coaching with them – need to ask them if they’d like to do some one-on-one work. Downtown has been a lot slower – people just don’t stick around for sessions.

Did all my laundry yesterday – it’s all folded – or at least the shirts are all laid flat. Today’s goal is get through all the email I’ve got backed up in my inbox and get the laundry put away as well.