Monthly Archives: May 2001

Mr. Filthy weighs in on

Mr. Filthy weighs in on Pearl Harbor:

Pearl Harbor is three hours long, and it’s time that would be better spent on the toilet, dripping hot diarrhea until your bowels feel twisted and tight like a wrung-out dishtowel…. Hartnett might be a better actor, and I’m sure the girls think his beady eyes and tiny mouth are dreamy, but writer Randall Wallace asks him to vomit up dialog as foul and clumped as the hair-trap in a YWCA bathroom.

wednesday, may 30

I got the film role with the student director at the School of the Art Institute. I think it’ll be fun

I got a lot done at work the last two days. Two projects I’ve worked weeks on are finishing up – or at least entering a new phase of completion. I’m spent a long three weeks wrestling with MS Access functions and expressions. Praise God. I am halfway through the bag of veal patties I got from Sam’s Club three weeks ago. I’m about veal-ed out. I’m starting to feel Veal Guilt too about the baby moo moo.

I went to see an acupuncturist today. I think that this will be my summer alternative health adventure – akin to my rolfing this past winter. I see it as a continuing quest to conquer my propensity for anxiety attacks and depression. The doctor (he’s a certified M.D. in Western Medicine as well sa Chinese medicine) felt my pulse on both wrists and said that my allergies are caused by weak lungs. The anxiety comes from the kidneys not being active enough – that the kidneys are allied with Water and it isn’t able to balance the Fire from my heart – which explains the internal heat i.e. anxiety. We even did an initial treatment – I was very nervous for the first needle. It was nothing. A little sharp when he put one in either wrist and a little numb with the one on the top of my head but totally bearable. I said to the guy, ‘Is that all you got? Is that the best you can do?” I guess I was expecting a harpoon.

From: Brigitte
Subject: The Ultimate Scone

I found it.? The scone to end all scones.? It can be found in the coffee shop in the 680 Building (Playboy Headquarters) called Torrefazione.
It is my new found indulgence in life.

I woke up just in time to get off at the right bus stop. I’d tried writing in my journal but the post morning run endorphin rush was ebbing and I nodded off – waking up as more and more people were on the bus and then less and less – my eyes opened and I saw the Art Intitute and I got off the bus and here I am. I think this is all because I found a lucky penny this morning. I have this strange relationship with lucky pennies. It is like when I find them there are things afoot in my life – I don’t know if it is because I’m being more attentive or God the Universe is talking back but it always makes me a little more attentive.


tuesday, may 29

Had a lunch date yesterday with a guy and his seven-year old nephew. We had lunch at the Melrose and then went to see Shrek. It was the strangest collision of biological imperatives. The lust I felt in my loins I felt for the guy I was dating and the paternal imperative of being around a small child. It was, ‘I want to fuck you and have kids but you’re missing some equipment.’

monday, may 28

It is now 12:51am – I went to Crobar tonight so see Peter as Sauci Bernaise do a performance of ‘Survivor.’ He used a BDSM motif and the DJ had mixed in whip cracks into the song. As his six dancers paired up and began slowly humping eachother she came forward and ‘sang’ the song with abandon. The whole notion of drag still cracks me up – I just don’t see why it is a gay thing. What does men fucking eachother have to do with dressing up like a woman? I saw Jorge, A___, S____ and Thomaso there as well. Thomaso seemed entranced with my soft hands – I chalk it up to a lifetime of Dove soap since all other soaps made me break out when I was a kid. He got even more excited when I told him I had 14 years of piano study in my fingers.

sunday, may 27

It is now 3:56. Went to Circuit. Hadn’t been out dancing in quite a while. The place wasn’t as packed as always, probably due to the all-day rain. Danced with a couple of Colombians and that was about it. Between that and Eric’s party which was largely en espanol, I really need to learn me some Spanish. Moved Brigitte all day. I swear that is the last time we move those goddamn bookcases. Next time she either hires movers or we set the bookcases on fire. Karen and I went to Hi-Volt’s production of Consumed by Poe, a play bringing together seven of Edgar’s stories – it was pretty good – would have liked even more overlapping of the stories and have them echo eachother more – like when they take down the wall to discover the wife’s body in The Black Cat at the same time Fortunato is being bricked up in The Cask of Amontillado. I still remember what a strong impact Poe had on me early on. Somehow I convinced mom to buy me this little 4 inch square anthology. I remember the first time I read The Tell-Tale Heart or Cask. Those stories scared the shit out of me and they still creep me out.

Extreme thanks to Cupcake for emailing me and telling me that the quote from 5/24 was from Raising Arizona. Even found a .wav file now for it!

Am I the only person that thinks that Aguilera in the ‘Lady Marmalade’ video looks like Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider? I mean I’m all for everybody dressing up like trashy whores but I never liked the original song anyway and was surprised that Missy Elliot allowed the girls to be so goddamn indulgent with the song. I think Whitney Houston is to blame for the lack of discernible notes in vocals today. Vocal jazzing off the melody is earned after singing at least one verse at the way it was composed so then you have some place to go. It reminds me of high school choir where there is always the girl that sings the year’s Disney/Celine/Whitney/Christina ballad and copies the exact indulgences of the self-proclaimed ‘divas’ – even going so far as to bring the microphone closer and farther to copy the volume dynamic in the song – this is also done with much trembling lip action when if they knew jack-shit about their pipes they’d know vibrato starts in the vocal tract and moving your lips minutely don’t do it.

I bought Missy Elliot’s Miss E… So Addictive. I like her style and the songs are starting to grow on me. Not sure if I can actually fit the word ‘crunk’ into my common parlance – never was able to migrate ‘dank’ into my vernacular. Of course I love ‘Get Ya Freak On’ and ‘Lick Shots’… one of her songs is a bolero too.

wednesday, may 23

Help! Kate said the following phrase to me last night:

Government do take a bite, don’t they?

What is this from? I picture a big fat woman with a bouffant saying it too – she’s got spectacles on. I’m thinking it might be a commercial. Help! A Google search yielded nothing so I know I’m in deep shit.

New slang to add to

New slang to add to vernacular:

pants – to say that something which is total crap is “pants”. For instance you could say the last episode of a TV show was “total pants”.

The last episode of X-Files was pants, if you ask me. It started off dull then got some good steam building and then totally seemed to sell itself out in the end. The aliens just walked away? WHAT?! So Scully’s kid wasn’t a hybrid super-soldier? It’s Mulder’s kid? Huh? What? Chris-Carter-jigga-who? And I’m gonna have some real problems with freaky-deaky-smoker-girl. I wish they’d just tapped Ally Sheedy for the job. Looks just like her.